Past Lives

Thank you Rob, I thought as Brooks and Nicole took a seat, you just saved my life.

Throughout dinner, I just pushed my salad around the plate.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” Max asked as he placed his hand on my leg.

I looked and him and gave a fake smile. “Nothing I promise.”

About five minutes later, I stood up and said I was going outside for a few minutes.

Max looked concerned. “I’ll come with you.” He said as he went to stand up.

I shook my head and gave him a kiss. “I’ll be okay, baby. Don’t worry.”

I grabbed my jacket and walked outside. As soon as the cold air hit me, I felt a hundred times better.

I stood there leaning against the railing with my eyes closed when I heard, “We need to talk.”
I opened my eyes to see Brooks standing in front of me.

“We have nothing to say to each other Brooks.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it Ads.”

I rolled my eyes. “What the fuck do you want me to say Brooks? That I love you? That for that first year all I wished for was for you to show up at my door and tell me you wanted me? Cause it isn’t going to happen.” I said trying to go back inside until he grabbed my arm.

“I made a mistake Ads. A big mistake. And for the past six years I have been killing myself for it. You have no idea how many times I have wanted to try to track you down and just tell you that I love you and that I am so sorry for what I did to you. I.. I don’t know what you want me to do to prove it to you.”

I laughed. “Prove it? There isn’t anything to prove Brooks. You seem content with that whore—“

“Nicole. And no I am not happy.”

“—in there and Max treats me… treats me like I deserve to be treated.”

Before I got to the door, he grabbed my arm again. “Just answer me one thing.”

I sighed and nodded. “Fine. Then I am going back in to Max.”

“I want you to look me dead in the eye and tell me you don’t love me and you don’t wish you were in Nicole’s spot at that table right now. Cause, god damnit, I would do anything to be Max right now.”

I look at him and saw nothing but sincerity in his eyes. All I wanted to do was tell him the truth and be with him, but I couldn’t do that to Max.

I shook my head. “No, I don’t.”

“Bullshit.” He grabbed my face and kissed me. The kiss almost brought me to my knees. All I felt was all the sensations I haven’t felt in six long years. I couldn’t think of anything but of that moment, me and him together. I gave in and wrapped my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss.

A few minutes later, he pulled away from me and smiled. I stood there for a minute before reality came back to me.

I pushed him away from me as I felt tears start coming down my face. “Don’t ever, and I mean ever, do that again. I don’t want anything to do with you Brooks.”

“Ads, wait I-“ He tried to say as I slammed the door in his face. I walked back over to the table and felt everyone’s eyes on me.

I wiped my tears off my face as Max stood up.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” He said as he gave me a kiss. “Why the tears?”

I just shook my head. “C-Can we just go?”

Max searched my eyes before he nodded and took my hand. “I’ll see you all later.”

He let me cry all the way home, never letting go of my hand and telling me everything would be alright. I felt like a dirty whore, and I knew it wasn’t fair to Max to not know the truth.

When we pulled up to the house, Max ran over to my door to help me out of the car. He pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead. “Babe, I promise everything will be okay.”

I sniffled and wiped my face. “I need to tell you something, but I think you need to be sitting for this.”

As we walk into the house and sit down in the living room, Max looked beyond concerned.

“Ads, what is wrong?”

I sighed. “You know how I told you I knew Brooks a long time ago?” He nodded as he put his hand on my knee. “Well, me and Jamie went to school with him. And I dated him for about three and a half years.”

He took a deep breath. “What happened?”

“He chose to be a huge hockey star instead of working on our relationship. I didn’t watch a single hockey game for six years until the first one I went to for you.”

“Babe, if I knew I wouldn-“

I placed my hand on his and smiled up at him. “Max, it’s okay. It was time for me to get back into it. I missed the sport so much and I was so glad that it was to see you play.”

He pulled me close and kissed my forehead. “So what happened tonight?”

I sighed. “He followed me outside on purpose.”

“He what?”

“Yeah, he wanted to talk to me. He told me that he knows he fucked up and that he still loves me.”

I could tell Max was getting angry. “What else?”

I looked down at the table in front of me. “He wanted to prove that I still felt the same way.”

Max got up and started pacing around the room. A few minutes later, he stopped in front of me and kneeled.

“Adisyn, please tell me you don’t. Please tell me you want me and not him.”

I felt the tears start coming as I grabbed his face and kissed him. “I want to be with you Max. I haven’t felt the way I do around you in such a long time. You know how to cheer me up no matter what. It seems that you know what I like without me telling you everything. Shit, you even knew my favorite flower and do my dishes.”

He laughed as he wiped away the tears. “You are so amazingly perfect, you don’t have any idea. Brooks was- was so stupid to let you go. I should thank him.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Because of him, I have the best thing to happen to me sitting in front of me.”

I kissed him. A few minutes later, I felt myself being carried upstairs to my room.

As we both slowly removed our clothes, Max stopped.

“I don’t want to do anything that you do not want me to do.”

I smiled and pulled him down on the bed with me and kissed him. “Just shut up.”

An hour later, I was in bliss. Max was perfect to me. I looked up and saw him snoozing away, I smilled and snuggled closer and drifted off to dreamland.

That was until I was rudely woken up by someone banging down my door.

“Ads we have to talk. Now.” Jamie yelled as she kept banging.

Oh Shit.