Past Lives

I could only stare at Ads and Brooks. Granted, I hadn't been a little angel the night before, but I wasn't sleeping with my ex while I had a boyfriend.

...I was just sleeping with my best friend.

Now is not the time...now is not the time...

I had no idea what I was yelling. I was just yelling. I know I said things about responsibilities and loyalties. I blamed Brooks' penis for a few things. I blamed Max for being a moron. I blamed everyone but myself. Why?

Because I'm a bitchy little whore.

"AND ANOTHER THING, BROOKS ORPIK, WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU WHEN SHE NEEDED YOU? YOU JUST HAPPEN TO PICK UP INTEREST WHEN IT'S CONVENIENT FOR YO-"

"SHUT UP, JAMIE!"

"AND YOU EXPECT HER TO COME CRAWLING BACK WITH OPEN -"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, JAMIE!" Brooks jumped from the bed and crossed the room to stand in my face. We were screaming at each other. "YOU WERE THE ONE WHO TOLD ADS TO MAKE ME JEALOUS!"

I took a step back. "Excuse me?" Where the hell had he found that out?

"YEAH!" He glared at me. "She told me all about it last night after a meeting with Jose and Jack."

"That's great, Brooks." I shook my head. "Take advantage of her while she was drunk. You're so classy."

"I didn't!"

"You're such a liar."

Ads spoke up then. "Listen. I don't remember anything after the first few drinks, but I do know you never answered my texts, Jamie." Ads shook her head. "If you'd been there, Brooks wouldn't have found me!"

I didn't like where this was going. "Ads, my phone wasn't on me."

Brooks crossed his arms. "I know where it was."

"Brooks, shut up."

"You don't think Ads has a right to know where her best friend was when she needed her?"

I could have punched him in the face again. I was so angry. I could feel my cheeks getting hot and I was seeing red. "That's not fair, Brooks. I was dealing with problems, too."

He smirked. "You mean the sexual frustration that wasn't fulfilled with a man who's getting married soon?"

"SHUT THE HELL UP, BROOKS."

He turned and faced Ads. "Jamie didn't answer you because her phone was on the floor of Rob's room along with their clothes."

Ads looked at me in horror. "Jamie, you slept with Rob?" She looked hurt. I felt like an ass.

"Ads, it wasn't supposed to hap-"

"Well how did it happen then?" She looked like she was ready to cry. After everything, I couldn't blame her at all.

I shook my head. "I was going back to the room and I ran into him. He noticed I was upset and took me back to his room to talk." I sighed. "We talked. He kissed me." I glared at Brooks. "This moron walked in."

"Well lock the door next time!"

"WHY DON'T YOU KNOCK NEXT TIME?" I was so done with Brooks' shit. "Vous trou du cul de merde! Tout ce que vous pensez vous-même est! Vous voulez juste vous éviter des ennuis. Vous n'avez pas les soins qui vous a blessé le long du chemin.*" I had to be out of my mind. After all, it had been a long time since I had busted out the French. A really long time. I was surprised I still knew it.

Brooks threw up his hands. "I'm done arguing with you, Jamie." He walked towards the door and grabbed his pants. "Ads, I'll talk to you later." He left without another word. I slammed the door behind him and sank onto Ads' bed.

She glared at me. "What the hell was that?"

I couldn't say anything. Instead, I burst into tears. I was really sick of doing that. Ads just looked at me. "What's wrong?"

Shaking my head, I said, "He's right." I wiped the tears from my face. "It's my fault. All of it is." It was that realization that was killing me. I was hurting everyone. People I cared about were getting hurt and it was entirely my doing. Before Ads could say anything, I said, "I'm sorry for what I did to you and Max. I'm sorry I ever suggested that stupid, stupid plan." I wiped my eyes again. "I'm sorry that I ever suggested you go to the game or convinced you to stay in Pittsburgh when you wanted to avoid Brooks." I shook my head. "I'm sorry for being the shittiest friend on the face of the planet and I wouldn't blame you if you never spoke to me again."

It looked like Ads was going to join me in tears. "You're not the shittiest friend." She hugged me. "You're not."

I just shook my head. "This is all my fault."

I needed to find a way to fix this. I had to.

Looking at Ads, I said, "So you don't remember anything from last night?"

She shook her head. "Nothing." Glancing at a small bruise forming on her arm, she said, "But damn do I wish I could."

I couldn't laugh. "What about Max?"

Ads shook her head. "I'm still trying to figure it out." She looked at me, clearly trying to change the subject. "So...You and Scuds?..."

I blushed. "It was..." I gave her a small smile. "It was pretty amazing."

"How amazing is amazing?"

"Just..." I grinned. "Mind blowingly amazing."

"Ads?" I heard someone pound on the door. "Jamie?" More pounding. "Open up!"

I groaned and walked over to the door. I peered out the peep hole and opened the door, confused. "Sid?" I was so confused. Sid had never come to visit us before.

"We need to talk."

What the hell?