Past Lives

December 2007

Six years was a long time.

Six years was how long Ads had been ignoring hockey. I had been careful not to bring it up around her. Granted, that was hard when hockey and football were basically my oxygen. I knew the Golden Rule of our house though -

The only brooks that were acceptable conversation were the type that involved water. Brooks Orpik was a forbidden subject. The only thing about him that was permitted to be spoken of was "The Confrontation."

After Brooks had broken Ads' heart, I waited until she was asleep to go visit Brooks. I found him in a bar, downing shots. I walked up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned around, I simply said, "You're a selfish bastard" before letting my fist fly.

I really had a knack for abusing the hockey team.

As Brooks held his bleeding (and I hoped broken) nose, I had simply walked away and went back to my bed. I hadn't spoken to Brooks Orpik since.

Brian and I stayed together until graduation when he left for Albany. I was broken up, but I didn't break his nose. I tried to act like I didn't care, but the truth was I ignored AHL hockey that season.

Ads and I moved into a house in Boston after school. Bay Village was nice, but Ads was faced with reminders of Brooks everyday. He was a BC hero now; he was in the NHL. We needed to get out of there.

The NHL didn't play in 2004. It was during this lockout that Ads took a nursing job at UPMC in Pittsburgh. Hockey was declining in Pittsburgh and with the threat of the team leaving, we thought it would be a safe bet that Brooks wouldn't be around much longer.

Well...I did anyway. Ads had no idea where he was playing.

Then Sidney Crosby came along.

It was a really good thing that Ads wasn't following hockey. If she knew that Brooks was staying in Pittsburgh, she would have flipped her shit, packed up, and moved.

One night in December, a coworker at Excuses handed me a ticket. I looked at her. "What's this?"

She smiled and pointed to the information on it. "I know you're from Boston. I can't go to the game tomorrow, so I thought you'd want to see your boys."

I smiled at her as I accepted the ticket. "This is awesome!" Hugging her, I added, "Thanks."

--

As I pulled on my Bergeron jersey, I thought about Ads. I didn't want to hurt her by going to the game. I knew she wouldn't want to hear about it later. I walked downstairs and gave her a little wave. She looked up from her nursing book.

"Where're you going?"

I felt guilty. I held up the ticket. "One of the girls at the bar had a ticket for today and couldn't go." I pointed to my jersey. "The Bruins are in town."

Ads smiled sadly. "Have fun."

I felt like an ass.

--

As I walked up to the snow covered Igloo, I heard the boos from the other black and gold jerseys.

"GO HOME, BOSTON!"

"YOU'RE NOT WELCOME HERE!"

I ignored it all. As I walked into the historic building, I looked around and sighed. It was so old. It was no wonder they didn't have the money to fix it. I couldn't throw a piece of popcorn without hitting a Crosby jersey, though. Malkin was a close second. The Pens hadn't been doing too badly so far. Maybe they'd surprise me.

As I sat with a beer and some nachos twenty minutes later, I heard some guys behind me discussing "orps." I had no idea what an orps was.

I was about to be informed.

I flipped through the program lazily. As I reached the Pens' roster, I looked through the pictures. I almost choked on my beer when I saw the small picture labeled with "44 - Brooks Orpik."

I had been hoping he'd gone back to Wilkes-Whatever.

As the game started, there was no denying that it was him. The playing style was exactly the same. I just stared in wonder at the ice. Ads could never know. If she knew he was just as big here as he had been at BC, she'd pack her bags tomorrow. No matter what she said, I knew she was still in love with him.

She'd dated. Hell yeah, she'd dated. It was just...some of her choices weren't the best. And no matter what, I knew she always compared them to him.

--

We lost. Gary Roberts, Evgeni Malkin and Georges Laraque made a fool of poor Auld. I watched outside as some fans gathered around a parking lot. I decided to see what was going on.

Players were signing everything fans shoved at them. I lurked at the end of the fence, wondering. Would he recognize me if he saw me? Would he run away? Had I broken his nose that night in the bar?

A guy next to me looked at my jersey and sneered at me. "What are you waiting for, Boston? Your poor little teddy bears already ran away."

I flipped him off. "I know one of the guys."

He scoffed. "Yeah. Alright."

After another ten minutes, I saw Brooks. He walked over to the fence and started making his way down the line. I waited. I wanted to see the look in those staring eyes. Whether it be fear, anger or apology, I wanted him to face what he had done.

Soon, Brooks was down to the end of the line. As he signed the jersey of the man next to me, he looked up and met my eyes. The look was completely worth it. The look of:

"Oh, shit."

Thinking back, I never expected things to happen like this. I never expected that moving to Pittsburgh would mean reuniting with...him. I figured that once he was gone, he was gone. But here he was, standing in front of me and staring at me like there were lobsters crawling out of my ears. It may have been my Bruins jersey amongst all the ornery-looking Penguins, but I had a feeling it was more along the lines of what I was feeling. The "what are you doing in my city" feeling.

He looked at me and shook his head. "Jamie?"

I glared at him. "I hope I broke your nose that night."

The man next to me gawked. "Holy shit. You really do know him."

Brooks pointed further down the fence, away from everyone. I followed him, arms crossed across my chest. I was still angry. He looked at me in silence for a second before speaking. "I...what are you doing here?"

I still glared at him. "I live here, thank you." I inspected his nose. I couldn't know for sure if it had been me that had broken it. Brooks rubbed his nose, understanding what I was going for.

"Yeah, you broke it, ok?" He shook his head again. The next sentence out of his mouth wasn't what I was expecting to hear.

"Is Ads here, too?"