Fat And Happy

My breathing was heavy. My lungs felt aflame, yearning for water with every intake of breath. My calves were screaming with pain as they propelled my body forward. With each step on the black asphalt, my body was alive, but dying at the same time.

"Everyone is almost done, but you're just starting your 4th lap." she scowled.
I didn't have time to answer back, I was too busy trying to breath. The hot May sun was beating down on my exposed neck. Sweat was dripping down my nose and into my mouth. The further I ran, the more every part of my body screamed for water. As if running the mile in PE class wasn't already difficult enough, she had to be there making me self conscious of every step I took.

"It's official, you're the last one on the track." she reminded me with superiority in her tone.

I focused my mind, body and souls on not stopping. Oh, how easy it would be for me to slow down and take a break from jogging. Just enough to catch my breath and ease the sweltering pain in my lungs. But I persisted. I kept my pace and I focused on the finish line, and also on everyone who awaited me there. I know that everyone in my PE class hates having the "fat kid." On days like this they are always waiting for me so they can move on to the next activity. Watching everyone with their slender and athletic bodies jog the mile with ease in under 10 minuets takes a tremendous stab at my self esteem. For every person that laps me, my heart sinks further and further until it almost feels nonexistent.

"You can do it." I heard a faint voice in the back of my head whisper. I almost didn't catch it, the voice was so quiet. It wasn't her, this was something I had never heard before. I couldn't even describe what it sounded like, whether it was male or female, soft or raspy, high or low. The voice was so quiet that I doubted if I had even heard it at all. Alas, I must have. It certainly wasn't her who gave this positive boost, but it wasn't my own thought either. While my mind doubted, my body believed. Without even thinking, I picked up my pace. My legs stretched out further in front of my body, and as a result, I was running faster. I kept my head up and my pace fast, and before I knew it, I was nearing the end. With the last yard in sight, I closed my eyes and grinned. It was an amazing feeling to know I was done. As I crossed the finish line, the class erupted into cheers. Everyone clapping and screaming words of encouragement and excitement. I breathed heavily, but still had a smile on my face. I opened my eyes to look at the cheering crowd, but all I saw were bored expressions and sneers.

"Finally." someone muttered and a few people snickered. The class wasn't cheering, nor had they ever been. It was my mind that gave me encouragement. Someone up in my ocean of a brain, that wasn't her, gave me positivity that was so loud, I thought it was real. Someone up there was able to break through, for the first time in a long time, and it felt so good.