A Little Princess
i am a princess.
I am a princess.
Maybe not in the way you think of it. But my daddy and my mommy tell me every day that I’m their little princess and they love me. Mommy used to dress up like one with me, but not anymore. She said that when I was six, I was getting too old for dress up. She threw away all those pretty, frilly tutus and dresses that I had spent hours pretending and make believing that I was someone who I wasn’t in, bringing myself into a whole new world of knights and dragons and unicorns.
That day, I cried a lot.
Mommy got mad and smacked my hand, telling me to grow up and deal with this like a big girl, but I didn’t want to. When she went to bed that night, I sneaked out of my room and walked on my tippytip toes, like how Missus Lee taught me in ballet, to the garage. I could see the tall garbage cans next to Daddy’s big truck, and I jumped a couple times, trying to grab the handle to lower it. I couldn’t reach it, though. I could see the pink sequins of one of my capes poking out of the white bag, and I felt tears coming to my eyes.
Without my clothes, was I still a princess?
Instantly, I frowned at myself for thinking otherwise. Of course I was a princess. I was Daddy’s little princess, after all. He always called me that, and he always would. I was sure of it. I went back to my room that night, slowly opening one of my drawers and pulling out a swishy skirt I loved. I set that on my bed, then went to my closet. I jumped a couple times before I grabbed one of my ballet leotards, going back to my bed and undressing myself.
I snapped the leotard into place on my body, then wiggled into the skirt. I grabbed my white knit blankie my great auntie had made me, pulling it around me and tying it in a little bow around my neck. I closed my eyes, imagining myself into that fantasy world I had created earlier. I imagined that I could feel the knight holding my hands as we spinned around in a field of daisies, pretended to hide behind him as a princess should when a fierce dragon attacked me. I drank tea with the Queen, sitting in that ladylike way my Mommy had taught me a long, long time ago, and I rode horses with my brother the prince.
Suddenly, I heard my Mommy coming to check on me. I darted to my bed quickly, untying the blankie and laying it over myself as Mommy opened the door. I lickety-split shut my eyes, trying to fake sleep the best I could. A minute or two later, she left and closed my door after turning on my nightlight. I rolled onto my back then, staring up at the glowing stars on my ceiling, and began to think.
While I thought, I discovered that no matter how old I was, I would always be a princess. Nobody could ever, ever take that away from me. It was my right as a little girl to be a little princess, I decided. No matter what happened to me, whether nasty dragons tried to eat me, or my knight turned out to be a meanie-face, I could still imagine a new world and become a new princess.
And as I grew up, I would always carry that with me. Being a princess is something you can never escape, because that’s who you are.
I am a princess.
Maybe not in the way you think of it. But my daddy and my mommy tell me every day that I’m their little princess and they love me. Mommy used to dress up like one with me, but not anymore. She said that when I was six, I was getting too old for dress up. She threw away all those pretty, frilly tutus and dresses that I had spent hours pretending and make believing that I was someone who I wasn’t in, bringing myself into a whole new world of knights and dragons and unicorns.
That day, I cried a lot.
Mommy got mad and smacked my hand, telling me to grow up and deal with this like a big girl, but I didn’t want to. When she went to bed that night, I sneaked out of my room and walked on my tippytip toes, like how Missus Lee taught me in ballet, to the garage. I could see the tall garbage cans next to Daddy’s big truck, and I jumped a couple times, trying to grab the handle to lower it. I couldn’t reach it, though. I could see the pink sequins of one of my capes poking out of the white bag, and I felt tears coming to my eyes.
Without my clothes, was I still a princess?
Instantly, I frowned at myself for thinking otherwise. Of course I was a princess. I was Daddy’s little princess, after all. He always called me that, and he always would. I was sure of it. I went back to my room that night, slowly opening one of my drawers and pulling out a swishy skirt I loved. I set that on my bed, then went to my closet. I jumped a couple times before I grabbed one of my ballet leotards, going back to my bed and undressing myself.
I snapped the leotard into place on my body, then wiggled into the skirt. I grabbed my white knit blankie my great auntie had made me, pulling it around me and tying it in a little bow around my neck. I closed my eyes, imagining myself into that fantasy world I had created earlier. I imagined that I could feel the knight holding my hands as we spinned around in a field of daisies, pretended to hide behind him as a princess should when a fierce dragon attacked me. I drank tea with the Queen, sitting in that ladylike way my Mommy had taught me a long, long time ago, and I rode horses with my brother the prince.
Suddenly, I heard my Mommy coming to check on me. I darted to my bed quickly, untying the blankie and laying it over myself as Mommy opened the door. I lickety-split shut my eyes, trying to fake sleep the best I could. A minute or two later, she left and closed my door after turning on my nightlight. I rolled onto my back then, staring up at the glowing stars on my ceiling, and began to think.
While I thought, I discovered that no matter how old I was, I would always be a princess. Nobody could ever, ever take that away from me. It was my right as a little girl to be a little princess, I decided. No matter what happened to me, whether nasty dragons tried to eat me, or my knight turned out to be a meanie-face, I could still imagine a new world and become a new princess.
And as I grew up, I would always carry that with me. Being a princess is something you can never escape, because that’s who you are.
I am a princess.