Love Is a Four Letter Word, and So Is Liar

I sat there at the dinner table while Dawn and Ryan continued to talk about baby plans. It was uncomfortable and hard for me to comprehend at the moment.

Everyone, but me, were all in deep conversations. I secluded myself from them. I just wanted to go home. I began to realize how much of a bad idea all this was.

"I'm going to head back to the hotel." I announced.

Everyone stopped talking and looked at me surprised. I guess they didn't see that coming. I mean they were so wrapped up in one another's conversations.

"Are you sure?" Kay pouted.

I nodded. "Yea, I'm tired. See you tomorrow." I kissed Ryan on the cheek and hugged each and everyone one of them before exiting the restaurant.

I wasn't tired. I just needed to get away from the scene I was seeing. I needed some time to myself. All of this was becoming a blur.

"Bee!" Some one called out from behind me.

I turned around to see Spencer running towards me.

I smiled at him. "What's up?"

He shook his head. "I just wanted to see if you wanted some company." He shrugged his shoulders.

"That's nice, but no thanks." I told him while I continued walking.

"Nonsense." He insisted.

We continued walking until we ended up at a park. I walked over to a bench and sat down. Spencer sat next to me and sighed.

"What's wrong Bianca?" He asked breaking the silence.

"Everything I suppose." I whispered.

He wrapped his right arm over my shoulder and pulled me close. "I can't say that I know how you feel, but I have an idea. If it's worth something, I think you've handle this whole deal pretty well."

"Really?" I asked surprised.

He nodded with a grin. "Yes, I think you have. Ryan will soon need to see who really needs all his love. He'll learn how to balance you and baby in his life. We just need to give him some time to be able to do that."

"You're right, but is it wrong to feel a bit abandoned by him?"

"I would say its normal."

I laughed. "You have always been the one with good advice."

"If you say so." He shrugged. He was always so modest about everything.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him. "Thank you Spence."

He gave me a gentle squeeze and smiled. "You are more than welcome."

We stayed silence after our conversation. I just wanted to relax a little before heading back. Maybe I was hesitating to go back. I kept thinking that Ryan had probably forgotten about me already. I'm pretty sure Dawn had him busy.

"Should we go back to the hotel?" I asked looking around.

"Yea, I remember how to get there from here. I was here earlier." He said standing up and stretching.

"Lead the way!" I announced happily.

We began walking and talking about Jasmine. Spencer really liked her, and you could tell. It was the way he described her with a huge smile spread across his face. It was adorable, and a bit sickening. It made me wonder if Ryan talks about me.

The walk didn't seem that long and soon went our separate ways when we got inside the elevator.

I walked to the door to my room and slide my key. I waited for the light to turn green and opened it. Before I had a chance to even step foot inside, I was grabbed and pushed on the bed. I was about to say something when I saw Brendon hush me with his finger over his mouth.

"What's going on?" I whispered in Kay's ear. She happened to be sitting next to me with a cell phone pulled close to her and Brent's ear. She shooed me away with her hand.

I gave Brendon a questioning look.

He motioned me to follow him to the bathroom. I followed and he quietly closed the door.

"Ryan and Dawn are arguing." He said in a small whisper.

"Ok, so why do we have to be quiet?" I asked confused.

He pressed his finger to his lips and made an 'sshh' sound. "Because it's on the phone."

"Why don't we put it on mute?" I asked stupidly.

He rolled his eyes. "The button is broken. We think Ryan might have accidentally called back my phone. That's why we can still hear everything."

Before I was able to say anything else, Kay yelled a 'shit' and it seemed everyone ran out like a stampede.

Brendon and I ran to the door to see Brent sitting on the bed.

"What happened?" I asked looking at the opened door.

"The phone hung up so they ran down to the room to finish listening." He shrugged.

"Wanna go?" Brendon asked.

I debated on it. I wanted to hear what they were fighting about, but then again I feel ashamed for listening.

Brent nudged me in the arm. "Come on, you know you want to." He teased.

He was right on that one. "Ok, but someone has to stay in case we almost get caught." I suggested.

Brendon and I looked over at Brent. He rolled his eyes and sighed annoyed. “Ok, I’ll stay, but only because I don’t want to get caught.”

This time, Brendon and I rolled our eyes at him. “Fine.”

Brendon and I ran downstairs to the next floor. We looked to our left and saw everyone pressed up against the door. Brendon decided to stay by the door and keep it open just in case we needed a getaway. He said Kay would tell him the details later anyways so there was no point in eves dropping.

I rolled my eyes, but agreed. I walked up to them and Kay quickly called me over to her. I did and she whispered in my ear.

“They’re arguing about you.”

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. I didn’t see that one coming.

I pressed my right ear to the door and I could hear Ryan and Dawn perfectly.

“I don’t understand Ryan. I mean don’t you love the baby?”

“What kind of fucking question is that? Of course I do, but I don’t love you.”

“Well I’m letting you know now that she is not getting anywhere near my child.”

“It’s my child too, and she is in my life forever whether you like it or not.”

“Oh come on, it’s not like you are going to marry her.”

“You don’t know that.”

“You weren’t even thinking about her when you were sleeping in my bed.”

“That’s where you were wrong. Bianca was the only person in my mind. When we were together, all I wanted was for you to be her. You need to get it through to your head that I want nothing to do with you, just my child. You lied to me, and you fucking know it.”

“I didn’t lie!!”

“Whatever, I’m sure you didn’t. I need to get out of here. Just call me when you have my child.”

“Ryan you walk out that door, you can never see your child ever again!”

“You can’t do that.”

“Try me.”

“Dawn, I’m really fucking tired of you trying to pull shit like this. I’m here for the baby. If you want to fight for the child, than lets go. You know that’s a battle you will not win. We all know your background.”

“Don’t bring that shit up Ryan!”

“Oh I’m sorry, did I hit a weak spot?’

“Fuck you! The point is you need to stay here with me! Not with Bianca!”

“She’s my girlfriend, and she came all the way over here to come see me! I’ll stay with her if I want to!”

I was so into what they were saying that I didn’t realize everyone scattered off, and Kay was trying to call me to leave the door. The door opened and I fell on the ground to Ryan’s feet.

Dawn and Ryan both looked at me shocked. I smiled up at Ryan and quickly picked myself up from the floor.

“Umm, I was—um-um-um looking for you.” I stuttered out. Shit, I couldn’t even think of a good lie…really I mean it could have been something better than that.

“Sure you were. I bet you were listening to the whole fucking thing!” She hissed.

"Fuck. You." I hissed back. That was the last straw; I was tried of her bitchy, snotty attitude. I wasn't going to deal with it anymore.

She looked shocked. Her mouth was slightly hung open and her green eyes wide. I smiled at the reaction I got from her.

She then pointed at me and looked at Ryan. "Do you see how she talks to me!?" She shrieked.

Ryan shrugged and turned to her. "I didn't hear anything." Then he turned to me and winked. I smiled happily.

"YES YOU DID!!"

"Just leave him alone! I mean I'm his girlfriend and nothing is going to change that!" I snapped.

"You're going to let her talk to me like that?" Dawn yelled.

Once again, Ryan just shrugged. I couldn’t stop the stupid grin forming on my face.

“That’s it!! You have to choose right now, Ryan!! Either you want this baby, or you want her! You can’t have both!” She shrieked. Her voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard.

Her saying that made my grin drop from my face. There it was the ultimatum. The one thing I was dreaded she would do.

Ryan turned his whole body in her direction. “Don’t you fucking threaten me! You can’t make me choose!” He yelled angry. His face was turning red, and you could tell he was upset by what she said.

“I can and I will.” Now she was smirking. She knew that she got him hooked.

He shook his head. “No.” He sighed.

“I mean it.”

He ran his hands through his hair. He was thinking about it. I sighed defeated. I knew that I had to do.

“Ry-Ryan.” I choked out. A large lump formed in my throat making it hard for me to speak. Tears stung my eyes, threatening to come out.

He faced me, and his eyes said everything. I knew what he was thinking.

I nodded. “I love you, I always will.” I kissed his lips one last time.

He never kissed back. I think he was afraid to.

It was then that I turned around and walked out of the room, and possibly away from him forever.

I knew he wasn’t going to choose me, and if he did, I wouldn’t have allowed him to. I walked out of the hotel and into the street with thoughts racing inside my head. I needed to get some fresh air. Soon enough my chest began to tighten and I began to feel light headed. Tears slowly fell out of my eyes and down my cheeks.

Could this be the end?