Help

I am fifteen years old and I have attempted suicide three times already. I didn’t want to come here in the first place but my mom said it would be good for me. I guess I need it, so here I am, telling my story.

When I was twelve, which was the first time. I was depressed. But when I tried it, when I tried to hang myself that night, I felt like I was on top of the world. Like, I was infinite, like nothing else mattered but me. I did it anyway and I was rushed to hospital when my brother found me.

My brother is amazing. He doesn’t judge me for everything, he helps me. If I had to die for anyone, it would be for him. I love him.

When I was fourteen, I tried it again. This time my brother found me and didn’t tell anyone. He helped me get my breath back and stayed with me for the night. That is why I love my brother, he’s my hero.

But two months ago, I tried it again. This time I succeeded. I was dead for seven minutes. I wish I could tell you about dying, but I can’t. There was no bright light, no angels, and I didn’t see God or any of my dead relatives. Who knows, maybe that would all have happened if I was dead for longer? Maybe my soul wasn’t fully there yet.

But, I am here for help. I want to get better. I don’t want to put my brother through anymore pain.