I Know Something You Don't Know
Maybe I'm The Shot In The Dark and You're The Morning Light
I'd been here for three whole months. For about the first month, everyone thought I'd relapse and the things that I had worked towards would have just been shit. I'm not going to lie, at one point I thought I had slipped back into the darkness everytime I'd closed my eyes for bed.
The darkness danced behind my eye lids but soon got replaced by a faint golden light.
The light was now remarkable. It was like the light you would see on a painting of the outdoor sky as the sun began to set but instead of the sly being filled with those beautiful colors of pink, purple and orange; the sky was a blissful golden color. After dreaming of this golden filled sky I began notice that I was standing in a great open field and for a few nights I was the only person there. Then a tall skinny body stood with their back facing me, semi long brown hair flowing in the mild wind that all of a sudden cascaded over this blissful dream.
Just seeing this picture in my head before I woke up for the day was enough to make me smile like a fool. My thoughts now revolved around who this boy was that stood stating off at the sky with his back towards me was. It floated around in my head every day till I finally fell asleep and found out who began to make my days brighter, who it was that made me forget the darkness I had been consumed in.
My only question was answered when the image of hazel eyes and a perfectly straight white smile flooded my eyelids. The golden rays illuminated the way his face glowed, the way it darted flecks of gold into his hazel eyes and his crisp brown hair now had hints of the sun in it. Just seeing him in my dreams made my stomach burst, my heart swell with a new found emotion as I racked my brain to place a name to this wonderful face. Then it hit me in a wave. The face in my dream belonged to Kennedy Brock. That scared me half to death, but it also excited me knowing that for once my dream was my secret. A secret that I wouldn't ever tell a soul.
This dream kept me from the shadows and it led mento the light. Clara realized it, but every time she begged me to tell her what it was that was going on in my head I wouldn't let her in. Being able to keep a secret that didn't involve Clara, Cindy or James gave me that freedom I've always wanted. It felt good hiding the fact that the reason for me sleeping peacefully with a smile on my face was due to my fantasy of Kennedy holding me in his arms, whispering a string of words that I never heard of. Clara was upset that I wouldn't tell her what finally caused me to no longer scream out at night in pure fright, yet she was cheerful that there was one thing she didn't have to worry about at night as we all slept.
My dreams and thoughts about Kennedy were 100% mine to keep to myself because it made me happy. Sharing it with anyone else could potentially get me to slip back into that world that I wanted to be free of. Every time I sat in chemistry next to Kennedy my dreams seemed to become more realistic, which made it hard for me to control the loudness of my beating heart with every glance and smirk he'd flash in my direction. Having my heart pounding in my chest as my stomach twisted into a cluster of knots at the same time, was a different feeling, one that I had never experienced and I was determined to find out what it meant Even if that meant perhaps sharing my dreams to Clara or worse getting close to Kennedy just to fill him in on the family secret.
Honestly, I didn't want to do either of those, so I let the instant heart pounding and stomach knotting continue it's venture while I just watched Kennedy by himself or him get close with other girls. Sometimes I felt that him with another woman had me fall back two steps, but when he brushed them off like nothing it brought me back to zero rather than negative two. How could any possible human being have this power over my emotions without sticking a needle in my arm?
I didn't know, yet, but I knew for sure that I wanted his arms around me holding me protectively. I would never tell him, but I prayed that maybe perhaps luck would be on my side.
The darkness danced behind my eye lids but soon got replaced by a faint golden light.
The light was now remarkable. It was like the light you would see on a painting of the outdoor sky as the sun began to set but instead of the sly being filled with those beautiful colors of pink, purple and orange; the sky was a blissful golden color. After dreaming of this golden filled sky I began notice that I was standing in a great open field and for a few nights I was the only person there. Then a tall skinny body stood with their back facing me, semi long brown hair flowing in the mild wind that all of a sudden cascaded over this blissful dream.
Just seeing this picture in my head before I woke up for the day was enough to make me smile like a fool. My thoughts now revolved around who this boy was that stood stating off at the sky with his back towards me was. It floated around in my head every day till I finally fell asleep and found out who began to make my days brighter, who it was that made me forget the darkness I had been consumed in.
My only question was answered when the image of hazel eyes and a perfectly straight white smile flooded my eyelids. The golden rays illuminated the way his face glowed, the way it darted flecks of gold into his hazel eyes and his crisp brown hair now had hints of the sun in it. Just seeing him in my dreams made my stomach burst, my heart swell with a new found emotion as I racked my brain to place a name to this wonderful face. Then it hit me in a wave. The face in my dream belonged to Kennedy Brock. That scared me half to death, but it also excited me knowing that for once my dream was my secret. A secret that I wouldn't ever tell a soul.
This dream kept me from the shadows and it led mento the light. Clara realized it, but every time she begged me to tell her what it was that was going on in my head I wouldn't let her in. Being able to keep a secret that didn't involve Clara, Cindy or James gave me that freedom I've always wanted. It felt good hiding the fact that the reason for me sleeping peacefully with a smile on my face was due to my fantasy of Kennedy holding me in his arms, whispering a string of words that I never heard of. Clara was upset that I wouldn't tell her what finally caused me to no longer scream out at night in pure fright, yet she was cheerful that there was one thing she didn't have to worry about at night as we all slept.
My dreams and thoughts about Kennedy were 100% mine to keep to myself because it made me happy. Sharing it with anyone else could potentially get me to slip back into that world that I wanted to be free of. Every time I sat in chemistry next to Kennedy my dreams seemed to become more realistic, which made it hard for me to control the loudness of my beating heart with every glance and smirk he'd flash in my direction. Having my heart pounding in my chest as my stomach twisted into a cluster of knots at the same time, was a different feeling, one that I had never experienced and I was determined to find out what it meant Even if that meant perhaps sharing my dreams to Clara or worse getting close to Kennedy just to fill him in on the family secret.
Honestly, I didn't want to do either of those, so I let the instant heart pounding and stomach knotting continue it's venture while I just watched Kennedy by himself or him get close with other girls. Sometimes I felt that him with another woman had me fall back two steps, but when he brushed them off like nothing it brought me back to zero rather than negative two. How could any possible human being have this power over my emotions without sticking a needle in my arm?
I didn't know, yet, but I knew for sure that I wanted his arms around me holding me protectively. I would never tell him, but I prayed that maybe perhaps luck would be on my side.
♠ ♠ ♠
I think this is short, but there's no dialog so that could be why.Please please comment and subscribe if you read