Summer of hell

I didn’t get out of bed right away, I lay there looking up at the calling thinking what my life would be if it when a different way. I felt Jimmy roll over with his back to me and him groaning about something. I looked at my phone and it was only eight in the morning. I text Zacky to see how Val was holding up and how he was holding up but he didn’t get back to me. He might have been still asleep which if I was in his sate, I wouldn't have slept at all.

“You okay?” I looked at Jimmy, I though he was asleep. He turn his head and looked at me.

“Yea, why?”

“Your thinking.” I looked at him and smile. “Anna, what wrong?”

“Nothing," I got out of bed and walked out of the room. he stay in bed which was fine with me. I when out the back doors to have a smoke and I call Jonnie. He was the lonely person I when to when I miss my mom the most. His phone rang for a little but he picked up, before he said anything I jumped right in there. “Hey, What up”

“Nothing much, just got up from a late night you?”

“I miss her so much right now. I need her so much right now and the faceted she not here and he, well I don’t know where he is.”

“I know Anna, I would miss my mom to. He still at the house, he been living there, I keep an eye out a lot.”

“Thanks,” I didn’t know why but I felt better when I talked to Jonnie. I wasn’t sure if Zacky told him about my mom, if not. I wasn’t ready to talk about it. “Do you think you can take me to her stone?”

“Sure when?”

“Today maybe?”

“Yea, I’ll text you when I’m out of band. Your boyfriend, okay with you talking to me.” I couldn’t help but laugh in the phone. “What?”

“Him and I, we aren’t dating. I don’t think we will, maybe one day but not now. I’m just trying to put myself together again, try to fine myself again you know.”

“No but its okay because I’m here for my sweet heart.”

“Thanks Jonnie, well I got to go so talk to you later.” He said goodbye and we hung up the phone. I finish up out side and head back into the house. Jimmy was in the living room with the television on and a beer in his hand. “Hey,” I sat next to him as he put his arm around me.

“ Who where you talking to?” I looked at him and he looked at me.

“Jonnie, you can’t get made at me.” he smirk and shock his head no. “He going take me somewhere today later. You are going be okay?”

“Yea, I will go see Val and Zacky today. Bring him some clothes, you want to meet me there?”

“Yea, that sounds good. it wont take long, I have to go see someone that all.” He looked at me trying to get out. “Someone you will meet some point in my life maybe. if this goes some where.”

“You don’t think it will. Ouch that hurts,”

I laugh, “No, I don’t know. I think being single right now is the best thing for me. To much going on in the head and adding boyfriend, I will be like I was before.”

“Okay,” he turns his eyes back on the television. I lend my head on his shoulder and I felt my self-falling asleep on him.

Less then twenty minus later, I felt Jimmy trying to lay to the other side of the couch and I woke up. He smiled and before I said a word, he shock the beer bottle back and forth. I got up and looked at my phone and saw that Jonnie had left a message saying he was coming in hour to see me. I got off the couch and jump in the shower to get ready.

It was about noon, I was ready with my make-up all done and ready to go. I went into the kitchen to grab a snack. I saw Jimmy sitting outside on the phone, I was going to go out and sit by him but I didn’t want to smell like smoke when Jonnie came to get me. I sat in the kitchen talking to Shea. Then I got a message from Jonnie that he was here, I poked my head out of the back door and told Jimmy that I was going. I walked out the house and I saw Jonnie sitting in the car waiting.

“Hey,” he said as I got into the car.

“Hey, thanks for taking me. I would have asked Jimmy but I don’t think he knows what going on and I don’t want to tell.”

“Hey it okay, I was thinking about going see your mom any way. So how life going?”

“Okay, so much going on right now. You?”

“The same, band might get sign tonight.” I looked at him with smile. I was happy for him because he wanted this his whole life and I knew he would. “You and the girls should come out and see us tonight.”

“I’ll ask Shea if she want to come.” He looked at me, “Val, she got hurt and in the hospital but she okay. Zacky there letting us know how she is.”

“You want to talk about it,” I shock my head and looked at out the window. “Okay,” I felt him take my hand to hold.

-Cemetery-

We pulled in and I felt a big note in my stomach, I always felt sick when I come here. We had stop to pick up her favorite flower to put by her stone. They where red, yellow, white roses. When he pulled in, he knew where right to go in the place. He pulled up and I toke my time getting out.

“You okay,” I looked at him and nodded. “Take your time and then we can go when you want to.” I toke a deep breathing looking down the row that she was down from the car.

“Lets go,” he got out and then came around to open my door. I got out and toke his hand right away. “This hard but I want to see her.”

“I know,”

We toke the first step to her stone, we walked pass five them and then got to her row. We had to go in three and there she was. I kneeled down and place the flowers in the cup. I ran my hand over craving picture we had put of her on it. I felt his hand on my shoulder as I just there talking to her quite so no one could hear but her. I try to hold the tares back but it wasn’t working. I got up and he held me as I kept talking to her as I cried hard.

“You Anna,” I looked up and whipped my tares before looking at the man. “You Anna?”

I turn and looked at him, “Yes, you are?”

“I’m Rob, I’m sorry for your loss.” I looked at him confuse. “My wife worked with your mother for a long time. She had pass away two days after your mother.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Thank you, well it was nice meeting you.” he shocks my hand and then smiled at Jonnie before he left. I turn to Jonnie confuse and he just shrug at me.

“I want to go,”

“Okay,” we walked back to the car.

When we got back to the car, I had called Jimmy to let him know that I was on my way to the hospital. I told him I was an hour away, when I got off the phone Jonnie and I didn’t really talk much the ride to the hospital. I slide my hand over and toke his hand to hold. Yea, it wasn’t Jimmy’s but it’s not like I was dating him. Jonnie and I have such a long pass with each other that we still loved each other.

“If you ever need to talk or get away, you know who to call.”

“I know,” I turn and looked at him. “You know, I think this is working for us.” He looked atme with that what! On the face. “IF you and I where still dating, you don’t think we wouldn’t be fight?”

“That true, but I miss you like crazy. Every girl I talk to or a try to go out with, it turn out to be a no go for them. There not like you, yea I want you back but I know that you need to fine yourself but I want to be there when you do.”

“Awh, Jonnie, you will be. You will be the first I will come to when I fine myself.” He pulled into the hospital parking spot and looked at me.

“Anna, I know that I fucked up so bad with everything but want to work it out. I know I help push you away from me.”

“Jonnie, if you want to fix it then give me some time so I can fix myself from everything.” he looked at me.

He slowly lends in and felt his lips and his lip ring hit my lips. His hand slide to the side of my check. He pulled away but not to far away and looked me right into my eyes. “Okay,”