Summer of hell

“I need help, I need sign that it will be okay. That I can move on with out you now, I NEED FUCKING PEACE!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. “GIVE ME A SIGN!” I cried harder falling to the ground.

“What sign you want?” I heard women voice. It was soft like the clouds look, sweet as chocolate teas for girl when she wants it. I looked up and I saw her stand over me, it could'tn be. She was so pretty, so young, it could be her. “My child, you have been given a sign. You’re just looking to hard for them, take time to see the whole picture and you will see you sign.” She smiled and faded away from me.

“Come back mom! I need you!” I held my hand out as if she could reach and I pull her. “Mom,” It faded off in the air.

“She was a great women,” I looked over and saw Mike standing there with flowers for my mother. I looked at back at the head stone and nodded. “I understand that you thought I was the one that killed your mother. Did you fine,”

“No,” I said cutting him off. He sat down next to me, as I just looked her stone. “I think it I know who but I don’t have proof that it was him.” he looked at me. “It was some one close to my mother and she loved him but didn’t have the gust to leave him because of me.”

“Oh,”

“Didn’t work those.” I looked at him. “My life was always fucked up but my mom was there to make it feel as if I lived in a dream. But now it feels that I’m just living in a big nightmare that I can’t wake up from.”

“I know how you feel, I was eighteen when I lose my dad. He raze me my whole life, mom die when I was two days old from cancer.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,”

“It’s okay, it toke me a long, hard road to over come my father’s death. This is just the beginning of the road for you and it will get hard before better. But if you know that it was this person then go to the cop or who working on the case and tell them what you think.”

“Thank you,” I smiled and hugged him. The hugged had felt as if it was a father, daughter hug. It felt good and he was a nice guy.

I let go, “Here my number,” he pulled out like business card. “Cell and work but you can call my cell whenever need to talk or need help.”

“Thank you,” I got up and started to walk home. I pulled out my phone and called Val. “Val, I need you come and get me. Who at the house?”

“The guys, where are you?”

“Please don’t tell them, I when to see my mom. Just come and get me.” I could tell she was out of the house. I heard her close the door behind her, “Jimmy!” she yelled. ‘SHIT!’

“What?”

“I’m on my way.” She hung up the phone. I walked to the ice cream place to have some and that where she picked me up. She walks in and saw me sitting there thinking like always. “Where were you?”

“I when to see my mom,” She sat down across from me. “I’m sorry I had you guys worried sick. I was piss in school because it’s christmas with out my mom.”

“Baby, it’s okay. I understand but Jimmy got in a fight with someone but he okay now because Zacky claming him down. Shea got so upset that she got sick, I was thinking the worse for you.”

“I am sorry but I need answer that you guys couldn’t give. I think I need to go away some where or get help.” She looked at me with a blink star. “I have to go to the cops first, I think I know who killed my mom.”

“Okay, when you want to go?”

“Tomorrow?”

“Okay, you want to go home?” I toke one more scoop of ice cream and looked up at her.

“Yea,” we got up and walked out to the car. We got in not saying anything, the whole way there. That was okay with us, we sing long to the music she had playing. When we did get home, I was afraid to go in the house by myself so I had Val come in with me.

“Hey,” she said as we walked in. She was in front of me; I close the door behind me. “Where are you guys?”

“Kitchen,” I heard Jimmy yell. I heard someone move and started to walk in the living room. I pointed to my room and she shocks her head no. She grabbed me so I didn’t go anywhere but where she wanted me to go. “Hey love,” he hugged her and kisses her. They pulled away and he saw me. “Hey,” he opens his arms and I walked into them. I just started to lose it, I did fine until now. “Shh, its okay. Your home now.” he held me tight.

“Zacky, she was scared to come in. she wasn’t at the house just to let you know. She was with her mom that whole time.”

“Oh thank god,” he held me.

“What?” I heard Jimmy ask walking in. I grabbed Zacky so he didn’t let go of me; I was scared to see his face right now. “Anna?”

“Yes?” I said into Zacky chest. Zacky let go and I tried so hard to stay close to him. He was my shield from Jimmy, I didn’t think Jimmy would hurt me but still you never know.

He walked over and pulled me into his arm, “I’m so happy your okay.” I didn’t say anything to him. “You’re sleeping with me tonight.” I looked up at him, my face so red from crying. He wipes my eyes.

“Your not mad at me?”

”I could never.” He was different person, I made love him or I thought I was starting to. I nodded my head and smile, “You hungry?”

“Yea,” he walked me into the kitchen where him and Zacky where eating dinner. They where having mac-n-cheeses for dinner. He sat me down at the table and I heard Zacky and Val in the living room talking about something. I wasn’t sure what but I knew it was about me. Jimmy came back with some food and sat down next to me.

We didn’t talk much, Val had left and Zacky came in. The guys talked with each other. I just listen to them, then my phone when off and it was Jonnie. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to talk to him but I decide that I needed a smoke so I got up and when out to talk to him.

“What the fuck,” he said when I answer the phone. Nice, like I really need this shit from him. I was going be dam if he was going act like this to me.

“Call me when you know how to talk nicer to someone. Especially when you love them and they love you too.” I hung up the phone. I looked at the boxes, I throw it back on the table and when into the house. The guys where sitting there and didn’t say anything to me.

“Anna,” Jimmy asks as I ran to my room. I slam the door and lay on m bed, my phone when off again. I didn’t look at it, I just throw it at the wall and laid in bed. “Anna?” I heard a rock at the door.

I close my eyes and I saw her, she was pretty like at the cemetery. She put her hand out and I when to take it but she shock her head. “They both love you, you need to pick. If not now then one day, someone will pick for you.”

“Anna,” I left him lie next to me and put his arm around me. She was gone, “Shh, it’s okay.”

“Mom,” I yelled. He shook me but I didn’t want to wake up, I wanted to see her. I wanted to stay with her. “Mom, come back!”

“Anna,” I pulled off the pillow and into his arms. “Shhh, it’s okay. Anna, wake up.”

“No,” I scream.

-Jimmy-

She started to scream and I pulled her into me, I try to wake her up but she wouldn’t. She screamed at me when I told her to wake, she rolled into my chest and started to cry so hard. My heart was braking slowly for her; I hated to see her like this. As she cried in my arms, I held her to my body until she fell back to sleep. That night I couldn’t sleep, I watch her as she slept in my arm. Holding on to me for dear life. I wasn’t going let her go.