Summer of hell

-Anna-

The weeks went and then a month was coming, I was feeling sick and tired. I knew that it was flu season. I really didn’t want to go to the doctor because I didn’t have money. I had left the food store; there was too much stress on me. I decide that I was going take up a baby-sitting job and work in a daycare. This way I could do my schoolwork, my grades where starting to slip and I couldn’t, not now. I had about five months left to go with school. Every guy that I talked to or saw would just piss me off, they didn’t have to say worlds to me. They could look at me, I when to stay at Val and Shea’s house. Their parents loved me, Jonnie was happy about that.

Now it’s been about five months scent my mom pass, there was still nothing on the case. The detective was looking at my dad’s file, he had a big file so it toke awhile and there wheren’t thing in the file that should have been there. I wanted this to be over with but it was going take time. I have learned to live with it to a point but no matter what, I wanted my mother to be at rest.

Now to the relationship states going on with the group, Zacky and Val are looking into houses by his mom in Houston Beach. Synster and Matt had gone back to home, Jimmy and I, well he been bringing home sluts for the nights because I couldn’t stand being around him. Also Jonnie and I, we been fighting like cat and dogs because he so fucking stupid. Shea and Andy, they are paining on getting married in the town where Andy had grown up out west.

Now today, I decide that I was going stay home. Jimmy and I where home together. I had decided to stay in my room the whole time and come out to eat. Every time I came out, he was on the couch like a blob sitting there with a fucking beer in his hand.

“How you feeling?” I walked right pass him. I didn’t want to talk to him; I didn’t want to see his face. He made me sick looking at him. “Okay, wow really nice.” He got up and fallowed me into the kitchen.

“Jimmy, please. I don’t fucking feel good; I’m fucking late with my…Ugh! Just leave me a lone.”

“Wait! You’re late for what? Your?” He looked at me; I looked at the floor and then at him. Then nodded my head, “Are you?”

“WHAT! NO! Hell no, there no way I could be. I haven’t in awhile, why the fuck am I talking you about this? Pulse don’t worry if I am, it’s not yours.” I turn and head back to my room.

“Anna,” he fallowed behind me calling out my name. I turn and looked at him, “Anna, I don’t care if I’m the fucking dad or not. I am your friend and I wouldn’t want you to do it on your own.”

“Jimmy, I’m a big girl. I when throw losing my mom by myself, I got the shit kicked out of me by my father so many fucking time and I got throw it. If I’m having a fucking baby then I will get throw it by myself.” I slam my door in his face. I sat on the bed looking at myself in the mirror.

I wanted to scream too much, I didn’t know if I was or not. I don’t think I was, I think I had the flu or something like it. He piss me off so much but I guess I loved him so much that just made it all worse for me. I once again is stuck between two guys in my life and now, I could be having a baby. Nice, just what I need in my fucking life. That was the last thing need on mine, to bring a kid into this world that is so fucked up. I curled up on my bed and just lay there crying my eyes out. Like I been doing scent day that I started not feeling good.

-Later the same day-

I finely woke around dinner; I got out of bed looking at myself in the mirror. My face so red and could tell I was crying. I open my door poking my head and then ran to the bathroom. I clean my face and then walked out as if nothing had happen. There was no one in the living room but I heard Zacky voice coming from somewhere.

“Hey girl,” I waked in, the guys where eating pizza for dinner. “You hungry? I have food?”

“No, I am good. Jimmy,” his head popped up when I said his name. “Can you take me to go the store?”

“Yea sure, now?”

“Um,” I looked up to see the clock. “I don’t know yet, if not tomorrow?”

“Yea,” he when back to eating. Zacky looked at me as if I was up to something. I got my water and sat next to him at the table. “Anna, you think you would be okay if Zacky and I when away for about two weeks or so?”

“Yea, I will have the girls over. Where you going?”

“We are going out to see our mom,” Zacky said biting into his pizza. “She sick right now and need some help with something. You okay?”

“Oh okay, I’m fine. I will have the girls over that week and maybe I will do some cleaning.” I was trying to stay in a positive mood in front of Zacky. He was the lonely guy that didn’t piss me off when I went I talked to him. He didn’t make me sick when I looked at him. He was my best friend, brother, how could I be.

The guys finish off the pizza, Zacky decide that he was going out with Val, Shea and Andy for a little bit. That when Jimmy and I when to the store, we got a couple of test for me. He felt a little odd but whatever, I need to know. I wanted to do this when Zacky was out of the house incase I was. I didn’t want to tell him right away, I also wasn’t sure on how I wanted to tell him. The girls I would just come out and say, Jimmy too. Jonnie on the other hand, I wasn’t sure what he was going to say or thinking. Maybe I wouldn’t tell anyone and leave the country and start a new life. That would be great.

“Are you going be okay?” Jimmy was driving home; we didn’t say anything to each other until now. “Anna, if Jonnie not there for you, then I will step in for you.” I looked at him shock. He would care for a kid that wasn’t his, wow. He was sweet but I felt he was up to something those.

“I will be fine, but you mean that?”

He stopped at the red light and looked at me, “Yea, I would hate to see you try to be signal mother. I have dated many in my life and their not that great.” He smiled and then when.

That great, if I became pregnant then I’m not a cool person anymore. He knew how to fuck up the moment sometimes. We got to the house and in we both when, I when right to the bathroom. I toke a box out of the bag and open it right up, I did what I had to and then wait. I walked out of the bathroom; he was on the couch in the living room with a beer. I sat down next to him; he wrapped his arm around my neck and pulled me close. I kept my eye on my phone for the time, when it was time I got up.

“Good luck,” I turn around and squint my eyes at him.

I got to the bathroom and looked it.“ What the fuck!?”

“What,” he yelled from the couch. “Anna?”

I poked my head out and looked at him as he walked down the hall to the bathroom. “I need to take one more and if not what I want to hear then off to the doctors.”

“Okay,” he walked to me and kisses my head and then turn to walked away. I did not want to fucking piss on a fucking stick again. Where the fuck was Jonnie, he the one that should be here with me. He the one that did this to me, oh I hate men! I did my thing and then walked out. I sat next to him on the couch and repeated the something over.

“Jimmy, I cant be.” he looked at me. “The're is way to much going on in my head and in this world to bring a kid into it.”

“Anna, are you?”

“ I could be,” he wrapped both arms around me giving me a hug.

The day when on, Jimmy would check on me to make sure I was okay. I had decided that I was going out for little. I stop by Jonnie’s but he wasn’t home, his mom was so I stopped by. When she saw me, she could tell that something was wrong and that I wasn’t going be able to hide it from her. We when in and sat down at the kitchen table. We talked and I told her what was going on and how Jonnie and I could be pregnant and that he didn’t know. I begged her not to say anything to him because I wanted to make sure it was for real.

After I had left there, I rode pass my house. The baster wasn’t there and I wanted to go in but I couldn’t. I pulled up to Shea’s house but she wasn’t there so I when on. I drove on for hours, I found myself at a park-watching moms play with their kids. That what I wanted but not at eighteen, my life was just starting for me. I was finding myself again, I was working throw my problems. I finely decide that I was going home, I felt like crying but I held it in.

When I got home, everyone was in the kitchen; I didn’t bother seeing anyone or talk to them. I when right to my room and slipped in to my pjs, I put a movie on and that is how I spent the rest of the night. Just as I was about to drift off to sleep, Jimmy had knocked on the door and came in. I could feel him lay down next to me and wrapped him arms around me to pull me in.

“It will be okay,”

“I told his mom today, he wasn’t home.”

“You really think you are?”

“Jimmy,” I rolled over to look at him. “The two tests that I toke came back positive. I haven’t got my dam period in like a month or so. So you tell me,”

“Okay, okay, I will take you the doctors tomorrow and we will make sure it’s all right.” I nodded my head and curled up into him and when to sleep.