Summer of hell

We where back to school and people where looking. Val was giving dirty looks and almost got in a fight because people where saying shit about me. I decide that I wasn’t going to try to hide it anymore. Everyone that was close to me and importation to me already knew. I when to see someone to help me try to in roll for online classes. Jonnie was taking me to the doctor’s appointment and it was really nice to share this time with him. We where starting to feel more in love again with each other. He stops hanging out with his old friends. I slowly broke it off with Jimmy. I hung out with Zacky; it was starting to feel like old times. It was really nice.

“How are you feeling today?”

“Sick,” there where days when I felt sick and depress. They where my hard days and I didn’t want to do anything or see anyone. “Jonnie, you have work today?”

“I toke the week off, you going to school?”

“I’m emailing my work to my teachers. You know we could use the money; we still don’t have everything for the baby. Yea, we have your old crib but we need like a swing or something.”

“You want a shower?”

“Hell no! it doesn’t mater, just leave me please.”

“Anna, I can’t help you or anything if you don’t talk to me.”

“Hi kids,” his mom said walking into the house. “How are we feeling today?” I looked down and shock my head. “Awe you poor thing, Jonnie, why you put so much on her? She needs to rest, you go to work and she will be fine.”

“They gave me off. Mom, we will be fine.”

“Jonnie, your mom just trying to help. Your not going let her help when I’m tired as hell, your at work and the baby crying it’s head off.”

“No, just that you and I where,”

“No fighting, the both of you. The kid not even here yet, I’m will be dam if my grandbaby grow up in a broken home. Now, you two learn to work it out. I will be up stars.” She kisses the top of my head and then Jonnie’s. He walked over and sat behind me to rubbed my back.

“That nice, I’m sorry. I know your just trying to spend time with me before the baby comes. I am just stress out with thinking of not having enough for the kid and what the hell I got myself into. Jonnie, this is not how my life suppose to turn out.”

“You think? I always wanted you stay with me in my life. I couldn’t dare be away from you but I don’t know anymore.”

“Jonnie, we are going make this work. I told myself for a long time that I wanted my child's father to be there for him. I didn’t want another man to father him, you’re his father and I wont want anyone to take that.” He lend into me to kiss me.

“I know I already knocked you up but, you’re really sexy. I cant,”

“Lest go,” I flung the blanket off me. I got up pulling him up off the couch. We ran up the stars, I lay on my back. His hands sliding over my stomach and over my big ass boobs. In that moment when he teaches me, I forgot that I was pregnant and his mom was home. We didn’t care anymore, we where staying together and we where going make it all work.

He slides my pants off and then I undid his pant, I push them off him. He slides my shirt over my head. His lips moved down my neck, then down and around over my chest. He got to my stomach and kiss in couple of spots where you could feel the baby. It felt so good and so great; I was very much in love with sex. That what kept me around him, the sex was so fucking good. He eventually slides into me, pushing up against my body. Rocking me back and forth, we learned how to have such great sex with out a sound.

“Jonnie,” I was trying to catch my breath, “Jonnie, m”

“What,” he whispers.

“oh god,”

“You want more?”

“Well not, nnn…not…if”

“Not if what?” I open my eyes to look at him. I hoped my baby had his baby face that he has. That was the best thing I loved about him, then he stopped. “What?”

I smiled and then started laughing, “I was just thinking, I want the baby to have your face.” He started laughing to. He rolled on to his back; he pulled me into his arms.

“Really?” I nodded my head laughing. “Well if that the case, I hope the baby has your smiled then.”

“Why?”

“Because your face light up when you smile.” We both laugh. We when from having good sex to talking about our baby that we thought we would be having ten maybe twenty years down the road.

“Jonnie,” I looked at him and then my phone when off. “ Hold on,” I rolled to my side of the bed to get the phone. It was Val and I had to pick it up, “What up?”

“Jimmy in the hospital!”

“What? What happen?”

“I’m coming to get you now. Be ready,” she hung up on me.

“Babe, what wrong?” I close my phone and looked at him. “What wrong? You look like you just saw a ghost.”

“I have to go the hospital.” I got off the bed and grabbed my clothes. I started to get dress and then I throw my hair up in a messy bun. I didn’t put much make up on well I didn’t have any on.

“Why?”

“My friends there, Val will get me and bring me back.” I lend over the bed to kiss him. “I’m sorry I have to go.”

“It’s fine,” he kiss me and then I left the room. I when down stars and out the door to wait for Val. She had came up with Zacky’s car, I got in and we where off.

The ride there, I didn’t ask and she didn’t tell me anything. I could tell that she was crying. I wanted to ask if he was alive but I was afraid of the answer I would get so I didn’t ask. When we got there, she pulled into a spot right next to Jimmy’s truck that Zacky was usinmg. She got out and started to run for the doors, I wasn’t far behind her. We got in there and she knew where right to go.

“Zacky, how?” he was so scared and didn’t know what to do with himself. He held Val in his arm hugging her.

“Zacky,” he looked up from her shoulder. “ Zacky, what…what happen?” he let go and walked over to me. He closes his eyes and I could see the tear escaping from his eye.

“ I don’t know, I got home and he was pass out on the couch. I saw he wasn’t really breathing and,” I nodded my head trying to not cry.

“Sullivan?” Zacky looked at the doctor.

“Brother,” he walked up to the doctor. “Is he okays?”

“He over dose on pills but he not a wake right now. You can see him, if you talk to him. He will be able to hear you.”

“Zacky, when did Jimmy do drugs?”

“He always,” I was beside myself. I never had thought once of Jimmy being a drugy, maybe an alcoholic. We walked to his room, the doctor left and the three of us walked in the room. it was dark with a light on over the bed.

“Hey bro,” Zacky said walking to the bed. Val held my hand to make sure I was okay. I didn’t know if I wanted to yell at him or if I wanted to lie down next to him and just pray that he was going be okay. “ Jimmy, what the hell man?”

“Zacky,” Val let go and when to Zacky. “Let go get coffee.” He toke his hand and walked out.” it was him and I in the room now.

“Anna.” He said really slowly, I almost didn’t hear him. I when to the side of his bed and toke his hand in mine. “Sorry,”

“Jimmy, save it. Your brother needs its more then I do. The one thing is, why did you do this when we where some what together?”

“Anna,” he shift him self in the bed. “ I had drug problems for awhile, when we where together it wasn’t so much.”

“Jimmy, you know what. I don’t want to hear it. I do have to go,” I didn’t bother to kiss him or anything. I got up and walked for the door.

“You put me here,”

I turn and looked at him, “What? How?”

“The pain of you being with him, fucking hurts so bad.”

“You don’t think it kills me? You think I want to be with him, you think my love for you doesn't kill me? Jimmy, you have know idea what it like for to me sleep at night.” I walked out of the room. I when down to the waiting room and called Jonnie to come and get me, I didn’t want him to see me but what could I do.

I stood out side waiting for him, people walked pass and I try not to cry really hard. A nurse walked a pass and asks if I was okay, she sat and talked to me. Then about five minus late Jonnie pulled up. I got up and walked to the car, I didn’t say anything to him. He put his hand out to take and I did. The whole ride to his house was quite, I felt like curling up in the corer and crying. My phone when off and it was Val but I didn’t pick up. Jonnie looked at me and then back at the road, I just turn my phone off.

“I feel sick,”

“Like what kind of sick?”

“Sick, sick Jonnie,”

“Okay, clam down. We are almost to the house.” we drove pass my old house where I could see my father was still living there and waiting for me. I looked at Shea and Val’s house and no one was there. I close my eyes to make the sickness stop. “Here,” he said pulling into the parking spot.

He helps me out of the car and into the house. He when up to his room and I when to the kitchen, to get a drink. I sat at the table looking out the back door into my house, he was changing it up and I was really upset at him. I deicide that I was going have Zacky come with me to talk to him. I wanted to know the truth on what happen. I pulled my phone out to call him. He didn’t pick up, which I understand so I decide to leave him a message.

“Hey, how are you feeling,” Jonnie ask walking into the kitchen. I turn and looked at him.

“Little better, Jonnie. I know you do drugs.” He looked at me like I didn’t know I was talking about. Which he knew I knew the truth and I was going to call him out on it. “I want you stop so you’re here for this baby.”

“Anna, what are you talking about?”

“Oh come on Jonnie! You high right now, god I hate guys.” I storm out of the room and right up the stars to the bedroom. I was piss and annoyed now, I laid on the bed with the cover over me trying not to cry.