Summer of hell

-Anna-

Jimmy and I haven’t scent two days ago, Jonnie kind found that I meet up with him and we talked. He never knew about the going to his house or anything. Only time will come when everything and I mean everything comes out between the two of us. He was pretty upset at me but I didn’t give a shit, I was piss at myself for staying with Jimmy. He made me happy and I knew that, Jonnie and I when to school, that didn’t go so hot.

“See you after school,” he when off to his friends. His old friends that I hated so much that I wanted him to stop hangs out with. The girls came up to my locker and saw what I was seeing.

“I thought you,”

“I did,” I slam my locker and when to class.

The day when on and I kept to myself, the girl try to talk to me but I just shut them out. They wheren’t to happy with me for that, but apart of me knew that they didn’t know what I was fucking feeling or what the fuck I was going throw. I wanted to shut the whole dam world out. I hated myself and the people that where around me, I was ready to leave this dam place.

“Anna,” Jonnie said at the end of the day. I acted as I didn’t hear him and kept walking, I decide that I was going walk home. “Anna,” he grabbed me by the arm.

“Ouch,” he swung me around hard. “Let go, your hurting me. Let go,”

“Not until you talk to me.”

“Let the fuck go before I scream.”

“Do it and fine out what happens,” I looked at him. This was a side of hime that I never seen before, he was on drugs because he was a lot stronger then normal.

“LET GO!” I felt sting across my face. “You son of bitch let me fucking,”

“Let go of her,” I turn and saw Andy running over to me. “Dude, let her go.” he loosen the gripe and then let go. “Come on baby,” he help me up and we walked away.

“Andy, what did you see?”

“Him hit,” shit, I couldn’t believe it. “You okay?”

“Yea, I just been on a ruff road right now. It’s so hard to love someone else and acted like you where in love with someone else.”

“Yea, I know how that all work.” I looked at him. “I been there well in the guys part, it turn out that she didn’t love me and it worked out because I feel in love with Shea.”

“You think it work for me?”

“Of course, everyone has someone waiting for them. You think you have two and really know the truth.”

“Thanks, can you take me to Jonnie’s?”

“You sure?”

“Yea,” he drove me down the street and we where there. “Thanks for the ride and the talk. I been shutting everyone out and I need that.”

“No problem.” I close the door and he drove off. I saw the Jonnie’s mom was home from work today. I slowly open the door and hear her in the living room talking about something. I tried sneaking up stars with out her seeing me but we all know how well that works.

“Hi honey, where Jonnie?”

“Oh he, um I’m not really sure. A friend of mine gave me a ride home,” I try making my was up the stars but she stopped me before I mad to the second step.

“Oh, well I was hoping,” she stops and looked at me. “Who hit you?”

“I got hit in the face with a ball in gym. It’s nothing really big.”

“It doesn’t look like that,”

“Yea, I wasn't paying any attion to what was going on and I turn my head,” Jonnie, walked in the house on the phone. His mom looked at him and then back at me. She didn't belive me and I could tell. Also the fact that Jonnie and I didn't come home from school together and i have a red mark on my faces. she walked over to him and looked at him in the eye. I saw in her face that she could tell that he was on the drugs. When I saw it in her face, that when I knew it was time for me to leave. I ran up the stars and into the bathroom to really see what he did to me.

I never saw how much he was like his father until now; he was getting anger a lot more each day. This was the first he hit me in front of people and leaving a mark on my face. I got up from the floor and cleaned my face off, I could hear one of them coming up the stars. They when right into the bedroom and then knocked on the door.Itwas him, I was a little afraid to open the door but I was trap.

“Anna, I’m so sorry.” He pulled me into his arms like he always did. He made seem like it was all okay and let go and walk away. But not this time, I was going let him have it.

“You son of bitch, get the fuck off me. I can do some much better then you!” he let go and looked at me. “You hit me once and let it go, you hit me again and I said fine. Even those you left a fucking mark. You hit me another time in front of people where we both go to fucking to school and leave a dam mark. GET THE FUCK OFF ME!”

“REALLY? I try to say sorry and this is what I get from you? You fucking slut!”

“You hug me and say sorry like nothing fucking happen. You want me think everything so fucking great. That I live such a great fucking life, even those I live at my dam boyfriend’s house where he fucking beat the shit out me. Oh and let me not forget that I’m fucking pregnant with his dam kid!” The fact that my mother lived her life like this for so long and I that she would be yelling at me to get out of this.

“Fuck you!” he pushes me letting go and I fell to the dam floor. “Fuck you! You fucking slut,”

“GO TO FUCKING HELL!” I sat there on the bathroom floor crying. What the hell did I do to live this fucking life? He was like my god dam father with my mother and grandfather. I was the one that need to brake the change with this all, I was not going to saw my kid this life so he could do it to his wife.

“Anna, you okay,” his mother asks walking into the room. She had a cut on her hand from throwing shit down stars. “Did he,”

“No, just. I’m sorry but I need to get out of here. I cant live like this, he wont change and I’m not going live like this." I got off the floor and started to pack my bags, I called Val or Zacky to come and get me. I wasn’t sure which one because I was crying to hard to see the buttons. When I finish, I when down stars to wait for them with her. When they pulled up the house, I hugged her. “Thank you for all you have done for me in my life.”

“I’m sorry you have to leave because him. I thought he was changing his old ways but like his father, just goes right back into them. You have my number to call and I want to know about my grandbaby.”

“I will,” I kiss her cheek and then grabbed my bags. She opens the door and I walked out. That was the last time I step out of the house. Val got out of the car to take my stuff and put in the back. I got in the front and she was in the back, we drove off.

-Two days before graduation-

I stay at Zacky’s place and I didn’t see much of Jimmy. He found out that I was back there and so he in away moved in with that girl. Zacky was telling how they’re fighting and shit. I didn’t care because I want with him and I had nothing to do with him. But when I was missing him, I would sit in his room with his pillow in my arms. I know that found little odd but I did miss him.

In school, people did talk about what happen that day but not for long. The school wanted me to get help but I told them no. I stay out of his way, didn’t look at him or talk to him. He was talking to those people and I didn’t want to bother with him, I kept telling myself that I was very much better off with out him in my child’s life and mine.

In my classes, we where doing finals and I had mostly done mine when I lived at Johnie’s. I would say that I was ahead in all my classes but my art class, that was because it was hard to get my work in on time. The teacher had knew me all four years and knew that I worked very hard. So to get a good grade in her class, she told me to make a big painting of something with feeling. That what I did and it was due today so she could have my grade put in on time.

“Anna, explain the picture.”

I put the picture on the stand and faced it to her, “It’s a person that think he doing something right with his life. When he know that he doesn’t love her and he can see out the corer of his eye that he see what the right thing for him. But it up to him to go on with what in front of him or to go with the one in the corer.”

“Wow,”

The painting was a picture a man standing and waiting for his bride. She looked so pretty walking down the alley in her white dress. But off to the side it the women he loved for a long time as well and he becomes confuse. You can see it in his face that he thinks that this isn’t right.

After I was finish with class, the whole senior class had to stay and work out where we were sitting. It was so stupid but I didn’t care, I stay a little and I told teacher that I wasn't feeling good. She had me go to the nurse; well I walked out and walked home. On walk home, Jimmy was coming around the turn and pulled up next to me ask if I wanted a ride. My feet hurt so I did, we didn’t talk or anything, which I guess, was a good thing. We got there and in the house we went, we didn’t say anything. He when to his room and I when to the kitchen to make food.

“Your home early,”

“Yea, didn’t feel like staying there any longer.” He nodded, “ I was walking home and Jimmy saw me. He gave me a ride,” he looked at me shock. “yea, we didn’t talk or anything.”

“Wow, odd. Where he now?”

“His room, I think.”

“Oh,” he when back to what he was doing. I was making a sandwich when Jimmy walked pass to go to the back yard for a smoke. I watch him as he walked pass, I wanted to say something but couldn’t bring myself to do it.

The rest of the day, Jimmy locked himself in his room with the music blasting. I helped Val with dinner when she got home from school; Zacky was out back on the phone with someone. The only time we saw Jimmy come throw was when he wanted to go out for a smoke. Parts of me wanted to go out and have one so I can stand next to him and try to talk to him. The door bell when and the guys where out there so I when to get the door. That wasn’t a smart thing for me to do, I didn’t bother to look out the window. I open the door and there she was standing and breathing.

“Hi is,” before she said anymore, I slam the door in her face and walked back to the kitchen.

“Who was it,” Val ask.

“Oh no one important to us.” I when back to help her and Jimmy ran to the front door. I felt like screaming. I heard them talking in the living room, then I saw him standing in front of me with the counter between us.

“Please be nice,” was all he said to me.

I looked at him and kind giggle to myself, “Nope.” I walked over to the sink to clean off the lettuce for the salad.

“Val, can I talk to Anna alone?”

“No, Val you can stay.” I said looking at him.

“Coming Zacky,” she walked out the kitchen. Fuck, I didn’t want her to leave and now I’m stuck with him. “What?”

“Why are you being a bitch?”

“Why are you trying to talk to me? You know everything was fine before you try to talk to me.”

“You’re the one that wanted to talk and that why we are at odds with each other.”

“We are at odds with each other because we decide to fuck and then had a big ass fight.”

“Fuck this,” he storm out.

“Yes! FUCK THIS JIMMY!” I was piss. I wanted to throw something at his god dam head. he piss me off so fucking bad. Val walked back in the house with Zacky behind her. “I have to go somewhere.” I turn and walked out of the kitchen. I walked out of the house and didn’t know where I was going but it was going be far away.