Summer of hell

It’s been three days here now, Jon is slowly doing better and he was growing like he was supost to. The doctor where letting me go home today but because Jon was so small and still wasn’t strong enough to leave. He had to stay but I was able to come back and see him when I want but before five. Jonnie’s mother had come to see me the day before. She was so happy and excited, I let her see him, she had told me that Jonnie was a preemie. Lonely by a month but it was okay and that Jonwas strong like his father and me. The day when okay and now, now that I have to leave my kid, I didn’t want to go. I couldn’t leave him here with out, god forbid what if something happen to him.

“Anna, you ready?”

“NO!” I yelled. I lost it; I sat on the bed and cried now. “No,” I cried into my hand. I felt Jimmy hold me up to his body. He held onto me and just rubbed my back with out saying a word. “Jimmy, I can’t”

“I know you can’t but they will take good care of him.” I looked at him, “You have to have faith in him to be strong. He a fighter like his mother is, but if you don’t stay strong then he wont.”

“Okay,” I whipped my eyes. “I have seen him first.”

“I know you do.” he grabbed my bags. “I will put them in the car and meet you in the nursery.”

“Okay,” I got up and walked over to kiss him. “You give me the strength that I need and I love you for that. Thank you,”

“Well, I guess we feed off each other. I love you too.” He kisses my head and then walked out. I when to the bathroom to whipped my face so my eyes didn’t look so red. I left the room and head to see my son.

“Hi Jon,” I sat down in the rocking chair next to him. “It’s mommy, you hanging in there right. You getting strong little each day I hope. Look I need you in my life, your father left me and you are all I have if him now. I love you baby and I just need you get strong.” I kiss my hand and then laid it on his back. “I love you,” I turn and saw Jimmy waiting for me.

“You okay?”

“Yea, I guess,” we walked out of the room and then head out to the car. He had the car up near the front waiting for me.

The ride home from the hospital, there wasn’t much world’s pass between us. Jimmy held on to my hand as he drove with the other. I mostly looked out the window of the car. I was watching the mother pushing their healthy baby down the street. Children playing with each other, I wanted my son so bad that I was starting to cry thinking of it all. When once we got home, everyone was out side waiting for us. Before I got out of the car, I looked in the mirror to see how bad I looked. Then I got out and the girls came running to hug me. Jimmy got my bags from the backset. My dad and his girlfriend were there. Then you have everyone else there that live there, they greeted me as I walked in the house. I didn’t want to be rood about it but all I just wanted to do was lie down.

“How you feeling honey,” My dad ask as he hugged me in the house.

“Okay, I guess.” I let go and looked at everyone. “Guys thanks for throwing me a party. It’s nice of you but I’m not in the mood. I kind just want to lay down.”

“Okay,” Jimmy said closing his bedroom door. Everyone and looked at him as he walked to me. “She tired, can you blame her?”

“That true,”

“ Thank you all for understanding.” I walked to my room. Everyone when on with the party. I open my door and I saw it change. “Who did this?” Val and Zacky came running over.

“What?”

“What happen to my room?”

“We all thought that Jimmy would stay in your room.” I looked at her; she knew what was coming next. “Well scent you two are close now and,”

“What going on in his room?” I turn and I saw letter that spelt out Jon on the door. I looked at her and then when to open.

“You don’t want to,” Zacky said standing in front of the door. “Anna, just go and lay down. You’re tired and we all see it in your face.”

“Move,” I told him, he shook his head no. So I would push him out of my way, some would say I gone crazy or mad. I was just tired and shit was just pushing me to the edge. I open the door and I saw blue wall.

“ We didn’t know he was going be preemie or not,”

“It’s okay,” I said cutting Val off. “Thanks guys, he will love it when he comes home.” I turn and close the door behind me. I smiled at them and hugged each one of them, then walked into my room closing the door behind me.

-Dream-

“Anna, baby girl, he beautiful.”

“Mom?”

“And Jonnie,” I heard him. “He going be fine Anna do not stress it out.”

I couldn’t see them but I could hear them, “How do you know?” I wanted them to say something else but they didn’t. I sat in this white room and there was no way out, I was scared. “MOM? Jonnie? Help!” then I felt a shack.

-Out of the dream-

“Anna, baby, wake up.” I rolled over to Jimmy sitting on the bed next to me. “You okay?”

“Yea,” I rubbed my head and looked around. “He is going be okay,”

“I know he is.” I hugged him and got out of the bed. “You saw the room?”

“Yea and he will love it. To bad we are leaving when he strong enough.”

“I want to talk to you about that. Synster found a house and it great for us, all of us. There two houses on the lot. The main house and then off on it is a little home just prefect for us. What you think?”

“ I was thinking one big one for all. I love the idea but I want to be in the same house with them.”

“Anna, come here.” I looked at him and smiled, I slide over in the bed to be closer to him. “You and I could be a family and still be close to the family.”

“I don’t know,” I got up and head the bathroom. I turn the shower on and got ready; I got in the shower letting the hot water run down my body. I heard the door open slowly but didn’t hear it close. I felt the curtain move a little and then hands around my waist.

“I’m sorry,” I heard in my ear. I lend my head on his shoulder as he kiss down my neck. He knew that was one of my weak spots.

“It’s okay, you know family importation to me.”

“I do,” he said against my skin. I turn in his arm to see his face. The water ran down my back as he slide his hand up and down my back. “Should I,”

“Just kiss me.” it was the first time, I made out in the shower. It was really sexy to me and I was thinking having him do that a lot more now. “You have to go so I can shower,”

“I can help,” he pulled me closer. I smiled against his lips, “What?

“You can’t help now out,” I kiss him and then let go.

“Fine,” he got out and I finish what I had started to do. I didn’t really take an hour to shower; I finish up and got out. I had my clothes with me and got dress in the bathroom. I left the room into my room and pulled my hair back and did some eyeliner. I was looking newer now then I ever did. I walked out of the room and I saw Jimmy’s door was open. I poke my head in to see my dad and Zacky in there talking.

“Hey, what you think?” Zacky ask cutting my dad off.

I smiled and walked in the room, “Love it, you were there when I saw it before I when to sleep. But whatever, what going on?”

“Oh nothing, just talking to Zacky about things that all honey. You look a lot better now you slept.”

“Thanks dad, everyone still here?”

“Yea, where would they go,” Zacky smiled.

“True.” I hugged my father and walked out of the room. I walked into the living room and saw my dad’s girlfriend sitting there. I thought this was the time for her and I to talk. “Hi, I’m Anna, if you didn’t know.”

“Hi honey, I’m Lorie.” She put her hand out and I toke it. I sat down next her and I was ready asking her question.

“How you meet my father and you know his pass?”

“Well um, I meet him one night in a bar. I was working and he always came in at four clocks like he did everyday. I know that he was married twice and he had two kids but didn’t see much of them.” I looked at her confuse. “What?”

“You said he was married twice and had two kids, how? I’m his only child.”

“Oh, well I must heared him wrong,” She sat there and thought about, “Are you sure?”

“Really, you’re going ask me that? Come on, it always been me in my mother, my whole life.”

“Lorie, you ready to go?”

“Yes,” she jumped off the couch as fast as she could.

“No wait, dad.” He looked at me, “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, what you need?”

“I need to know if I have a sibling?”

“Oh course not, your mother was only able to have you and that was it. Why do you ask?”

“Well this one said that you where married twice and had two kids.”

“I was married twice, I was young with the first one and didn’t know what I was doing. But I didn’t have any children with her, you’re my only baby.” he walked over and kiss the top of my head. “Come on love,” they walked out. I turn and saw everyone looking at me.

“Okay, what the hell going on?”

“Nothing, come on baby. You need something to eat.” Jimmy toke my hand and we when into the kitchen.

We sat around eating and the guys had beer, it was a nice coming home get together after I had my nap. I was annoyed because there was something going on that no one was telling me. Like everyone was afraid to say a world to me it getting to me in this short time. I was going to get to the bottom of this, now. I got up and walked over to Matt and sat down next to him. I started to talk to him, he didn’t seem like he was hiding anything from me. If he was, well he fucking well at it and then I moved on to Synster and nothing. It was pissing me off to the point I stop trying for the night.

“Anna, come make firer with me,” Johnny said. I walked over to him and helped. “So he a cute baby?”

“Yea, it just sucks now that I have to go to sleep knowing I’m about forty- five mint away from him.”

“Yea, how Jimmy doing with it all?”

“He really good, he doing better then me or I think he is.”

“He a strong boy and he will be there for you when you don’t want to. He will make you laugh when you really need it.”

“Yea, he a good guy. I just hate that he stuck with Jon and me now. He shouldn’t be supporting my baby as well and that what I feel like right now.”

“Oh, he loves you guys. When you guys came in the spring, he kept talking about you and how you’re having a baby. He didn’t care whose baby it was, he going to love it because he loves you. He want to be stuck with you, it’s more you andJon are stuck with him.” I couldn’t but laugh.

“What is so funny,” Jimmy asks walking over with two beers in his hand.

“You’re stuck with me,”

“Oh okay,” he wrapped arm around my waist. “Short shit, I’m taking her from you.”

“Okay,” I hugged him and then walked to the house with Jimmy arm around my waist.