Summer of hell

It been a year now we have been here, so much had happen in the house. Jon was now a year old. Melody and Matt got married up by her mothers, which was really nice and fun. That was in March out side in the back yard, it started getting me to think about what I wanted for my wedding. In the end of June, Val and Zacky couldn’t wait to get married. The guys and the four of us girls all drove up to Vegas for their wedding. Val didn’t want a big thing like Melody had.

After Val and Zacky got married we all when down to the bars, and just party it up. We went dancing, drinking and we did spend some money on the consino. Andy had offered to watch Jon for me. It was really nice, oh and Jimmy got to meet Ash. I explain to him we where just friends nothing more. I knew him back in high school, he was fine with all that. Well he just forgot about it all and just had a fun for the night.

Then about month later was my birthday, Jimmy decide that we should go to Jersey for that week. We brought Jon with us and stayed at a hotel. My father tried getting me to stay with him but I just couldn’t. It was even hard for me to step foot into the house to visit him but for the most part, it was a really nice trip. On my birthday, Jimmy had plain out this really nice day for me. It may sound weird but we had a picnic with my mom. Jon was with us and I was happy to be there to saw him. He may not remember this but I know I will. After we had finish eating, it was time for us to go but I wanted to stop at Jonnie’s. Jimmy really didn’t mine, he understands. He had his arm around me holding me close to him. It was really hard trying to hold the tears back I looked at Jon and you could tell that he just knew somethingwasn't right but wasn’t sure. He walked over to the stone and sat down looking at it.

That night, my father watch Jon while Jimmy toke me out on a date. It was just like our first date or well it felt like it. He rented a pick up truck like the one he use to drive around when we lived here. He told me that I had to get ready at my father’s and so I listen to him. It was so weird being there at the house now and also my dad’s girlfriend had left him. So there was no other woman there, something came over me as if something was going to happen. But it turn out to be fine, Jimmy picked me up at the house. We headed out to the beach where we went once when I was still with Jonnie.

At the beach, it wasn’t really cold but not what I was use to back at home. He had a blanket all set out for us, which I thought that was really sweet. It was sunset and we sat down on the sheet and looked out to the water. He had made sandwich, which I though was cute as well. He had some wine for us and it was just the two of us, I knew this was a birthday that I wasn’t going to forget. Once the sun was going down and the moon was out, Jimmy had couple of candles with him. He put them around us and we just lay there watching the water. We didn’t really talk until he asks me about marriage and family.

“Anna,” he sat up and pulled me over to him. “Do you think about getting married?” I looked at him. I thought that was such a silly question he asks because he knew I wanted to get marry so much. Part of me wanted to say ‘you should know the answer to that’ but I didn’t want it to come out mean. It was not the time, the moment was not prefect but in away it felt liked it was prefect for me.

“Course, you know that I do. You know that even if we don’t get married that I will be with you forever. That we will have kids together and build on the family we have now.” I sat up and lend my head on his shoulder.

“Well then,” he propped himself on his knees and looked at me. I was trying to guess what was going on but I couldn’t. “I don’t have it with me because I want to make sure its what you want. But I want to do it now because I feel like it’s the right moment.” I was a little nerves on what he was going say. But I knew what he was trying to say and was scared to say it. “Anna, you came into my life at such odd time for me. We went throw hell and back. But umm, will you marry me?”

I smiled, I wanted to play around with him but I wasn’t sure how he was going act. “Well maybe.” He looked at me, “ha, you know that I don’t need no fucking ring.” I got on my knees and wrapped my arms around his neck. “But I will marry you,” we spent the rest of the time at the beach.

After a week in Jersey, we headed home and it was nice. I wanted to do this every summer now. That if we had money and I wasn't missing my mom everyday. Now once we where home, I was ready to get the ring but Jimmy and the guys where ready to get back into the studio to write and to record music. I wasn’t really excited for it because I liked having Jimmy all to myself. But I got over and sucked it up, I had spent a weekend with him. We got back into our everyday life, I got up toook Jon to day care and I when to school. While I was in school, I didn’t know what Jimmy was doing but it was okay. At the end of the day, when we sat down to eat that when we share our day with each other. There where some night that Jimmy wasn’t going to be home so Shea and Andy would come or I would I have pizza and work on homework.

One weekend, Jimmy and the guys toke off from recording and everything, to spend time at home. The night before, we wouldbe laying in bed and talking on what to do for his day off. I had so much plain for the day if he was off or not. I had to go food and clothes shopping for Jon and I. I was shock that Jimmy wanted to come with us, I thought he was going to stay home and sit on the couch with a beer.

He looked over at me, “Let get your ring,” I put my book down in my lap. “You want to?”

“Of course I want to but I don’t know what I want.”

“Then we will go look that all, come on. Let get to bed.” I put the book on the table and curled up next to him.

That is what we did the next day, we took Jon shopping and he was able to help me pick out a ring. As soon as we got out of the jewelry store and into the car, he had put the ring on my finger. I couldn’t believe that this was really happening now, I had waited so long for it and I wasn’t sure on what I left like. I was really happy and excited but there was something else in me that wasn’t feeling right but I couldn’t tell him that. On the way home from shopping, we stopped at the food store and he was so cute. He would hold my hand as we walked or hold my waist while I was standing there comparing price.

In the car on the way home, I would look at the ring. He would look at me and smile. He had this great big smile that I never really saw before until today. We got home, we brought all the bags in. I put Jon in the living room to play and I put away the food. Jimmy was right there with me in the kitchen helping, we where talking but nothing really importation. I had to fine someone to talk to about how I was feeling, I wanted to scream but I couldn’t.

The weeks went on and then the month had passed us, then I knew it. The summer was over, I was starting school again and we where just going back to everything as if nothing happen. It was driving me crazy, I still didn’t tell anyone on how I felt about the ring or the whole wedding deal. At some point thing got scary for me because I was talking to Ash again. Nothing was going on, he was on the road with the guys and we where just talking. He was really the only person that knew Jimmy gave me the ring. I didn’t tell him how I felt about it because Jimmy would be mad on top of it knowing that we where talking.

Another month when by and Jimmy was back in the studio with the guys. It was mostly Jon and I again. Val was running the store to a point and was able to go school, I tried to help her it didn’t work so well. But she was able to do it because it was really just her and Zacky. They didn’t have the family yet and they wheren’t starting one anytime soon. I think that was the part that scared me the most with this whole wedding, was it just away for him to feel this is his and to have kid of his own? This was really started got me thinking of everything now.