Summer of hell

It’s been about two weeks now and the guys like the dinner and decides that this is what they wanted to do every weekend. The guys all loved to be together and we had so much fun that night. So it was Val and sometimes Melody when she was around to help out. Val and I didn’t really care if she was there or not and when she was, we made her part of it. If she come for dinner and not help that fine to because we are all family and that was what count the most to me. Jimmy and Matt on the other hand didn’t really like when she didn’t help out with dinner but they didn’t saw it. Zacky well he was there for the food like the most of the guys.

My therapy was going really good and I had told him about the dinner. How that brought back good memories of my childhood. For a little bit there we thought I was improving on my life until I got to one point. I told him about how I felt about when Jimmy and I where in Jon’s room. How that made feel uneasy with myself and a little worry. He told that when everything was calm down right now that part of me feel that there will be a fight. Because when thing where okay was when the fighting would start. Part of that had made scent to me and then we stop talking because he was righting.

“Doctor,” he looked up at me, “I know this isn’t part of your job but tell me. What would be pregnant do to me mentally?”

“Well would this be a plain one?”

“Ha, look at my first one. I love him but he wasn’t planed at all. But planed or not, would it really mess me up?”

“Well, if it a plain pregnancy then to a point because of you having your first child. Going into label early could scare you with a second child. If it an unplanned one, then mentally you will feel a little bit more scared then if it was planned. Why?”

“Oh just asking, I hoping not to have a next child for awhile.” He smiled and the time was up. I got up and head out the door, “Jimmy next week?” he shock his head no at me, “Okay,” and out the door I when. As soon as I got outside of the place, I decide that I was going right home to test. I had to research myself that this was all in my head. No one was going be at the house because their all out.

On my way home, Jimmy called asking if I was going stop by there. I wasn’t really sure and I would call if I was going. I drove down the high way almost like a nut job. As I soon got home, I parked the car in the driveway and ran into the house. I when right to the house and down to the hall bathroom where I had it hidden. I knew that it was the best spot because he didn’t go in there. I pulled it out, did what I had to do and then cleaned the dishes while I waited for it. I set the timer to go off. When it did go off, I jumped and then ran to the bathroom. There it was the answer that I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see it.

“Fuck,”

“Anna,” ‘shit!’ Jimmy had come home and I had to get ride of this. I stuck it back in the box and that in the bag. Throw in the trash and then toke the trash out to the kitchen. “Hey you need help?”

“What? No, I’m good. What you doing here?”

“I stopped by to check on you, you seem weird on the phone.” I got a black bag and then put the kitchen trash in it with the bathroom. “Here let me take that out for you when I go.”

“Okay thanks, so how thing going over there?”

“Good, I brought Jon with me. He was getting a little much for Val and I felt bad.”

“That fine, you can leave him here. You guys going be home for dinner because then we can maybe grill tonight.” He shrugged as he sat on the chair in the kitchen. “I will make the patties in a little bit.” He pulled me to his lap and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

“What going on with you?” I looked at him, “you seem like your hiding something.” I shook my head at him. “Okay then, how was therapy today?”

“Okay, he thinks that I took to step ahead but one foot back.” He looked at me, “Well the one day it was the three of us in Jon’s room and I didn’t feel right. It was just because everything was going to good for me that I thought we might fight but we been doing great with each other.”

“I think so, I would say let go to our room but we have the little guy in the living room.”

“I would tell you no because you have to get going back to the guys. We need a date night, I think my father coming next months.”

“We do, I didn’t know about then because we might be doing some signing and shows with a couple of bands but local.”

“Oh okay,” then I felt his phone go off in his pocket. I got up a little but he just pulled me back on him. He answered the phone and it was Brian looking for him, I could hear him into the phone with my head on his shoulder. With Jimmy’s free hand, he started to rub my back, which I liked when he did it.

“Yea, okay no problem. Bye man.” He hung up the phone and looked at me. “The guys are on their way back here. We just have to go in early to tomorrow to finish this up and we should be good.”

“Wow, okay.” I kiss him cheek. He looked at me and the way he looked at me was the way he looked at me the first time we meet. He kisses my lip soft and then the side then down my neck to my chest. “Not now,” he looked at me, “The kid.”

“Fine, but tonight. We will use the dishes from the big house so you wont have any to do.” I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I have to go check on Jon, you try to control you honorness.” I smiled and got up.

“If I didn’t have such a sexy women around I think I would.” I knew that wasn’t partly true because I remember when we lived in Jersey. He and I had this fight and he would bring chick to his room.

I walked into the room and I saw Jon asleep on the couch watching his favorite show. I picked him up and carried him into his room, I walked pass the kitchen seeing Jimmy out side having a smoke. I put Jon in his bed and then when outside to get my man. We when into our room, I was at the point now that I didn’t care if I was pregnant or not because well I was. I wasn’t ready to tell him or anyone at the mater.

As soon as we got into the room, I flung my shirt off and jumped on the bed. I was all his for the afternoon. Everything was going great, I was on top of him and both of us didn’t have a shirt on. He rubbing and squeezing my chest and I was loving every bit of it. Then I kiss down his chest and undid his pants as I kiss him. He started to slide his pants off and I start sucking and licking. That when we heard someone in the house.

“Baby, stay quite. Maybe they think we when out or something.” We heard Jon’s door open and then they where heading to our room. “Fuck,” Jimmy said under his breath. I jumped up and ran to the bathroom. Jimmy pulled his boxers up and the door open.

“Oh shit man, I’m so sorry.” It was Johnny, dum ass.

“Dude, what?”

“Oh nothing, everyone wanted to know if you guys wanted to go out but I see,”

“Yea, just get the fuck out.” I heard the door slam. “Okay baby, where were we?” I open the bathroom door and looked at him with the sheet around me. “What?”

“I’m not feeling good.”

“You okay?”

“Yea, just not into it now.” He lay back in the bed with a groan. “I’m sorry,” I walked over to the bed and lay next to him.

“It’s not your fault.” He turns and kisses my lips. “You don’t even look that hot be truthful.”

“Thanks,” I smiled and lay next to him. “If you want, you can go out and I will stay here with Jon.”

“Let see how you feel when dinner come around and then we will talk.” We both laid there falling asleep into each other arms.

-Dinner-

I rolled over and no one was there next to me, I thought I was dreaming of everything. Until I saw that I was mostly naked, I sat up and looked around. I got out of bed putting on Jimmy’s t-shirt and shorts. I head out and saw everyone on the porch; Brian had Jon in the pool swimming around. Jimmy saw me and pulled me to his lap.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better, I need that nap.” He was having a smoke and offered it to me but I said no. “Trying to quite so I have to whiten teeth for my wedding.”

“You’re teeth already white.” he said kissing me.

“Hey you two, isn’t that what a bedroom for?” we looked at Johnny as he walked by and laugh.

“I have a bone to pick with you later.” I yelled at him. He turns and looked at me, “you need to learn to call.” Jimmy and I bought laugh.

“True but,”

“But what,” I said cutting him off. “We where in our house in our bedroom.” I was never really this much of bitch to him but lately he just got under me. He put his head down and looked away. “Come here,” I got up and walked to him. “I’m sorry.”

“No you’re right, I’m sorry.”

“Just next time, if you don’t see around in the house then call.” He nodded and hugged me. “You scared me, if you tell anyone, your ass is mine.” I smiled and we both laugh. He grabbed his smokes and sat with us.

Zacky came out and then not far behind so did Val, you could tell those two where trying. It was cute thaw because they where married and stable to have a kid. If I had one, god I would never get married. She was in away glowing and I wasn’t going to say anything to her. I didn’t think any of the guys knew and if they did, I’m still keeping my mouth shut. They sat with us and Jon was ready to come out so I got him his tallow and held on to him while Brian stayed in. Matt came out and talked to us about dinner and how he wanted to take us out. But I wasn’t feeling good again and I decide that I was going to stay home. Jimmy when in the house to shower and I when in to change Jon’s clothes

“Jimmy,” I said walking into our room. I put Jon on my bed turn the television on for him. Then when into the bathroom so I could talk to Jimmy. “Jimmy, baby, I’m not going tonight. You and the guys go, have fun.”

He poked his head out the shower door, “You okay?”

“I been feeling funny, I think Jon and I are just going lay in bed for the night. You go and have fun.” I put my hands on his cheek and kiss him. He nodded and got back in the shower. I walked out of the bathroom and got on the bed next to my little man. He sat there watching t.v. while I just lay there.

The night when on, Jimmy left around six with the guys and Val went with them. She wanted to stay but I told her no that she had to keep Melody company and that I was going be fine. Jimmy was texting me the whole night so I knew I was on his mine the whole night. Which I did feel bad about but I was feeling so sick. At some point in the night, Jimmy called me and they pass the phone around so they could talk to me.

It wasn’t until; I guess you would say ten or maybe eleven they all came home. I was on the back porch looking at the stars with clean pjs on. I was kind shock to see them all this early but they also had to be up to finish in the studio. I warn Jimmy that Jon was in our bed tonight. He didn’t care because it wasn’t all the time the baby slept in our bed. Brian sat out with me under the stars just talking about the night. He didn’t believe that I was sick until I told him that I throw up once.

It wasn’t until him and I said our good nights. He when to the main house and I when into mine, I checked the front door and then locked the back door. I head to my room but first I headed to Jon’s room to grab his favorite teddy that Jimmy gave him when he was in the hospital. I when into my room and I saw them two lying there. Jimmy just in his boxer with Jon curled up in a ball next to him. I walked to my side and climbed in. Jon woke up and looked at me, I handed him the teddy and came over to me. He curled up in my arm and we when to sleep.