Letters to Crushes

Dear Fabian

Fabian,

You don't know how much your name intoxicates my mind. And you most certainly don't know how much time I spend in front of the mirror just mouthing your name, a sincere smile on my face.

I just wish you did. Things would probably be easier. I could easily tell you how beautiful I think you are. How your wavy hair hangs flawlessly just over your shoulders. How the butterflies in my stomach begin creating a tornado every time you hug me. How every time our hands connect somehow, my heart smiles. How much I love it when you approach me.

You are the air that I breathe, the first and last thing I think about every day, you're in my dreams constantly and everything you do is beautiful in my eyes.

If only I could tell you how hurt I felt when your sister told me you liked that girl and that she liked you back, it drove me towards an anxiety attack. I cried when I saw you holding hands with that same girl, but I know she isn't your girlfriend. I wish I could tell you that I'm so close to just saying I'm in love with you.

If only I could tell you everything.

You opened up to me, and I thank you for that. Now I want to help you. I want to make you feel pure again. I want to help you feel genuinely happy. I want to pull you from the depression and the suicidal thoughts, and all the darkness that surrounds you.

If you could let me in, I could make a difference. I promise I'll make sure they never hurt you again.

If that means I'd have to sacrifice every hope and dream I have of being with you, then so be it. I promise I won't hurt you. Please, let me help.

With all the love my heart can muster,
Dakota.