Fat Girl

She tells Hilary that there's nothing to worry about, that Stella's her friend, that it's true. The girl's less than convinced, and eyes Monica sceptically when she tries to convince her that it was all perfectly fine.

“Whatever you say,” she’d said.

Hilary never trusted anyone, though. Monica never knew why, maybe Monica's simply too trusting but the girl never allowed anyone close enough.

She's either a little too guarded or a lot more smart. It's difficult finding a difference between the two, if there's one at all.

But Monica doesn't want to lose her; she's not sure what she’d do if she did. Could she feel even more alone? She doesn't think it's possible.

“Oh my god, seriously, did we even learn this?” Stella complains, pressing her forehead against the desk with a groan.

Monica laughs a little, wondering to herself if maybe she didn’t have Hilary, if they could be friends. It’s awful of her, really, she knows, but she imagines her life if Stella was her best friend. Would she be invited to parties? Would she learn all the latest gossip? Would she be introduced to more people, would people start to like her?

Hilary's her best friend though- they watch television together and have sleepovers and Hilary talks about that boy that goes to a different school who she texts a lot and Monica tells her what she think the texts mean.

It just all grows so mundane.

“Maybe you should go to the special class and meet with your own kind,” James turns in his desk, teasing the frustrated girl and glancing at Monica who definitely notices. She grins at his joke.

“Oh, ha-ha, so funny, if I fail then my mom will shoot me.” She lifts her head, sighing.

“Isn’t your mom already pissed? You haven't been wearing special helmet to school, and we all know that you need it,” he clicks his tongue and shakes his head as if he's ashamed.

Stella glares at him. “Why don’t you do stand-up? Really, you're hilarious.”

“And I mean, after that time you almost drowned in the tub, she had to go out and buy water wings…” he meets Monica’s eye, right then, and grins cheekily. The brunette girl can hardly contain her smile and laughter pours from her lips.

Even Stella lets out a laugh which causes for Monica to laugh harder. James laughs too. They all do causing for the teacher to shush them from up ahead but they hardly quiet down. Monica's acutely aware of James’ smile cast her way.

It's in those moments that Monica truly feels weightless.