Floating Upon This Surface

Sophia awoke, to treading footsteps on the wooden floor. Her eyes wandered about the room, unfocused and weak with sleep. She focused on a moving shadow creeping around the dark room. She lifted her heavy head of the pillow and rubbed her eyes.

“What are you doing?” she whispered into the room.

The shadow stopped and walked toward her, “go to sleep love,” he whispered gently laying her down again.

“come to bed Sergio,” she yawned holding on to his sleeve, “please.”

“I have to go silly, practice starts in two hours and I need to go home.”

“No it doesn’t, you’re lying.”

“Sophia, por dios. Why would I lie to you.”

“Because you’re Sergio,” she sighed softly.

Sergio kneeled next to her, and lifted her chin, “I would never lie to you.”

“Then don’t go.”

“I have to Sophia, your mom can’t find me here.”

“What? You think she doesn’t know what we do in here? Why else would we close the door?”

“Go to sleep nena, I’ll see you later okay?”

She watched him intently , sleep blurring the edges of her thoughts. She moved her face closer to his hand and kissed his curled fingers.

“Te amo,” she whispered into his palm.

He smiled at her words and kissed her forehead, “yo tambien Sophia.”

He lifted himself from the floor and took one last gaze at her sleeping form under the covers, and felt that longing pull at his heart. As much as he knew he needed to leave, he wanted nothing more than let the sun find him beside her, intertwined in her embrace.

▲▼

Sergio walked into his house, and collapsed on his bed. His body was exhausted from the lack of sleep and his mind fogged with sleep and disillusionment. He tossed and turned trying to erase his imminent decisions that loomed over him like daggers ready to fall. He opened his eyes in surrender, and sat up. He paced around his empty room, wanting the guilt to fall of his taught skin.

“Sergio?” a voice called from the bed, “estas bien?”

Sergio, turned and gave Christina a half-hearted smile, “I can’t sleep.”

“I know, I can hear you pacing back and forth ,”

“Perdon Christina. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay. But, you’re wearing down our floors. Come lets go drink some hot milk and you can tell me what’s on your mind.”

Sergio, watched her body get out from under the covers and make her way towards him. She wrapped her arms around him, her arms dark from the luscious sun unlike Sophia’s, that resembled the porcelain moon He closed his eyes again, trying to escape Sophia’s face and scent that lingered in his mind,

“Carino,” Christina called out softly, “what’s wrong?”

He looked down on to Christina’s face, and took it in his hands. He kissed her softly, perishing in the kiss. The guilt fell from his shoulders as he kissed her, falling down into the recesses of his mind. This was the right thing to do, to be here with Christina, to be in Madrid ;to forever forget Sophia Michelle Olivar and Cantabria.

▲▼

Sophia woke up again, this time alone with her sheets falling off her the side of her bed, and her body naked and cold. She looked at the mess scattered around her room, smelled the scent of his cologne lingering on her skin, and felt that throbbing realization in her chest that he was truly gone. She looked at her tainted skin, traced upon the budding love bites across her chest and grasped that this was all that remained; all that was left of him. She curled her knees into her chest and held herself as she cried, sobs tearing through her chest. Sophia closed her eyes, she thought she was enough. She gave him her all and more, and had thought it had been enough. Enough to receive his love, enough to call him hers; she had been there at his side always, yet he had always faltered.

Sergio had always loved her by candlelight, always told her she was beautiful behind closed doors, and gave her the world in secret. But she had always hoped for more, hoped that one day, he would run from the field into her arms and declare to the world how much he loved her. But it was never like that with him, it was always hidden. He would reassure her that it was the last thing he could keep private after he signed with Real Madrid, that he didn’t want the paparazzi bothering her like they did him every time he went out, or have some fan abuse her, that it was better to love in the secret of her bedroom, than in the open. And she believed him, she whole heartedly believed his lies, and gave her heart to him without taking another look back.

And what did her sacrifice grant her? Lies. All his love murmurs, late phone calls, caresses and kisses, were all lies. He had met Christina, and was her, Sergio wanted the world to see. Christina with her long brown legs and wide hips, Christina with her small waist and plump lips, who was perfect, who was beautiful and flawless in every aspect Sophia wanted to have. She couldn’t compete and was left behind with his hometown, never to be found again.

Sophia couldn’t stop crying, her body shook against her embrace, and felt like at any moment she would explode. She was in so much pain, it spread from her heart to her toes, biting and burning all of her. What a fool she had been! How easily and naively had she trusted Sergio and gave him her heart, and how stupid of her to have thought she could have kept him. She, could have never kept him, for he was never hers.