What Hurts The Most.

Sidney shot up in bed as the door slammed open, and a blonde mess of hair came tumbling in. He threw the sheets off of himself and rushed to the doorway, reaching up to flick on the lights quickly. Reaching down, still half asleep, he grabbed her thinning arm and yanked her up to her feet, meeting extremely large black pupils.

He glared at her, tightening his grip and watching her face darken. She tried to thrash away from him, but his strong, muscular build kept a tight grasp. She was so high that he couldn’t even see any recognizable features about her. He could see the venom that was boiling up, the anger she had that he was keeping her from doing what she wanted. He shook his head.

“Let me go Crosby,” she spat at him, through gritted teeth.

He laughed, but it was anything but genuine. It was hard enough for him to fall asleep without her next to him, knowing she was roaming the streets looking for drugs. The fact that after all of that stress, worry, and complete and utter sickness, he finally got to sleep and she comes scratching her way in at five in the morning, shaking like a leaf- really did him in.

He shoved her gently onto the bed, making her sit and look at him. Hair a mess, and eyes still burning from lack of sleep, he leaned down and stared at her, placing one hand on her trembling knee. Even though it broke his heart to be stern with her, he knew that when she was this out of it, she needed a bold hand. He looked at her, watching as she attempted to look back, but her eyes would roll to the back of her head, and she’d fall backwards slightly before composing herself.

“This has got to stop!” Sidney yelled, pointing a finger in her face, “Look at you! You can’t even sit!”

She glared at him, swatting him away with her hands, making a growling sound. He leaned backward, away from her fighting hands and let her freak. She fell back onto the bed and let out a low breath. From his spot by the wall, he could see her twitching. His heart stung, so bad, but he knew how to focus her. When he heard the sharp, fighting breaths from her throat, he jumped forward.

“Get up,” he demanded; reaching for her arm, it was like pulling dead weight, “Elle!”

Her head lolled back and he tightened his grip, pulling her to his face. He gently grabbed her cheeks and shook her, her eyes fluttered open and she gazed blankly at him. He watched as she looked so dead, so unaware of whom he was. The only thing that mattered to her was the high, and it was sickening. Sidney was merely a person in the way of that.

She looked at him and then her face lost all color, and Sidney was prepared. He reached over almost as quickly as he reflexes would let him and pulled the garbage can in front of her, just as she began to vomit. She wasn’t even getting high anymore, not in the way she’d like; it was purely near-death fixes. Each time she was hyperventilating, shaking, her pulse slowed way down, she couldn’t breathe, or she was throwing up.

Sidney sighed, pulling her hair back away from her face as she fought to contain everything inside. She was losing the battle, throwing up repeatedly. He wondered how he’d overlooked everything that added up to this, how he let his baby girl turn to drugs. How he’d let her feel so lonely and unwanted that she’d turn to this shit.

The sound of her gagging again snapped him back to reality and held the garbage firmly. She had a hold of his arms, as if they would save her from falling to her doom. He knew she needed him, even if she didn’t. It wasn’t her who cussed at him, who told him to die, that she didn’t need him, that she’d be better off dead- it was her sickness, it was the drugs.

“S-Sid,” she whispered, gaining her breath.

He leaned forward, and saw the tears rolling down her face, “What, baby?”

“I need more.”

He looked at her in disbelief; he wanted to throw the garbage can, puke and all, all over her. How stupid could she be? Here she was, a day after being released from the hospital, strung out again and uncontrollably vomiting and in this moment, she wanted more?

“No, Elle,” Sid said sternly, putting his foot down, “You don’t need more.”

She glared at him, wiping her mouth with her pale arm, “Come on baby, just a little bit.”

The lovey-dovey tone wouldn’t work for him, not for this. He scoffed, placing the garbage can by her feet and standing up as she cleaned her face, “You’re unbelievable you know that!”

“Why?!” She screamed.

“I’m worried sick about you all of the time, you come home like this and you have the nerve to tell me you want more?!” He was speaking to her like a child, but that’s what she deserved right now.

“No, No baby, No,” She cooed, leaning upward to ring her fingers around his belt loops, “I wasn’t telling you I want it...”

He looked at her, waiting for what she meant, but she didn’t say it. Finally, it sunk in, just as the green orbs began to slightly show behind the giant pupil. He pushed her away, actually disgusted with her, and he threw his cell phone into the wall, just to release some anger.

“You’re asking me for money?!” He said, staring at her in disbelief.

She sighed, wiping her eyes, still shaking, “J-Just a little, I wouldn’t ask y-you if I didn’t n-need-.”

“- You don’t need drugs, Elle!” Sidney screamed, at the top of his lungs, face reddened, “You need ME, you need a house over your head, you need your friends, and you don’t need this bullshit! I do everything for you and you have the nerve to ask me for money to support this shit?!”

She burst into tears and he wanted to scoop her up in his arms, but he stayed strong. He turned around and walked out of the room, slamming the bedroom door shut.