What Do You Want From Me?

"Say you made a mistake; tell him you were confused, and now you know for sure what you really want."

"And what is it that I really want?"

"To be who you were before. That's who you are, Jessica. This was just a little detour. Right?"

"...right."

"And now that you've got it out of your system, we can all move on like nothing ever happened. Right?"

"Yes."

It was the right thing to do. She had to keep telling herself that. Otherwise, it would all just fall apart and she'd be right back where she started.

Looking down at her phone as she sat in the back seat of her father's Ford Explorer, she sighed, deleting the newest text to come through. She was way passed reading them at that point, considering it'd already been four or so days since they started. It killed her inside to do so, but reading the desperation in each and every word was worse.

He'd come to see her at the hospital; Matt. He 'needed to', as Jimmy'd said when he informed her of the events. He'd said that Matt was reckless; practically pushing him out of the way just to see her. She still couldn't understand why Matt cared so much. Of course, she cared for him just the same, but she just didn't deserve the kind of feelings he had.

Jimmy went on to say that he'd talked the bigger man down before he did something stupid; like running into her parents; and proceeded to get him out of there. She'd scolded her cousin for even informing Matt of her condition, because Jimmy knew for a fact what was going to have to happen when she was released from the ICU, but in the end she thanked him and cried a little bit on his shoulder. He let her, like always, and told her everything would be okay. It wouldn't.

"Jessie," A calm, collected voice spoke from the passenger seat.

Jessica rolled her eyes. It'd been about a week since the incident, and her mother was still sort of walking on egg shells. There was simply no reason for it; she'd never cared about her daughter's feelings on the matter before. Why start now?

"Yes?"

"Are you sure you'll be ready to return to school tomorrow?"

For the umpteenth time... "Yes, mom. I'm sure."

"I just don't want what happened to make you fall behind and have your grades suffer."

"We've already had this discussion, Marlene," Jeffrey said now. "She's knows her grades are what's most important. She won't let this affect that."

Marlene sighed. "All right. I just need to keep reassuring myself, that's all. I know Jessica is an exceptional student. And now that you'll have your friends back, I'm sure you'll do better than ever."

Jessica nodded, forcing back the bile that wanted to rise up from her stomach. "Mhm. There's just uhm...one thing I wanted to ask you guys."

"And what's that?" There was a warning tone in Jeffrey's voice. For whatever reason, Jessica wasn't sure, but she needed to get this off her chest.

"I still don't forgive Isabel and Jason for what they did. It really hurt me." This was sort of a lie, but it sounded good. "So, I was wondering if maybe I could just be friends with everyone else in the group except for them. It would really make everything easier."

"That's preposterous," Jeffrey exclaimed. "We've already had this discussion, too. Isabel has been your best friend for years. And Jason is the perfect guy for you. No. This isn't how it's going to be. Forget about it."

"Dad," Jessica defended. There was just no way she could look Isabel and Jason in the eye the same way as she did before; not without freaking out and hitting them. "Please. Just listen to me. I understand you want me to do well and I understand what I did was unacceptable. Whether you believe it or not, Jason cheated on me with Isabel. I saw it with my own two eyes. And that hurt me, very much."

Jeffrey gave a dramatic sigh. "You teenagers and your idiotic views on monogamy. You know, when I was your age, I had a different girlfriend every week. I didn't care about that. I cared about my school work and my grades. That's what's most important. Nowadays, all anyone cares about is who's seeing who, who's fucking who, who stole whose boyfriend or girlfriend. Honestly, it's ridiculous!"

"If school work and good grades is what's most important, than not being friends with Isabel and Jason shouldn't be so much of a problem."

"They're a good influence on you, young lady," Marlene spoke, that annoying motherly tone in her voice.

"And as I've said before, things these days are obviously different and I've seen how good they treat you. You're obviously just too selfish to see it."

"I wasn't too 'selfish' to see Jason's tongue down Isabel's throat!" Jessica exclaimed.

"Jessica Marie!"

"Well, it's true, ma. How many other ways can I say it before you understand? They're not good for me and you've always said it's better to be honest than to fake how you truly feel. I'm not going to pretend to like them and I shouldn't have to."

Jeffrey flashed an angry glare in the rear view mirror, before turning it back to the road. "I don't like your tone, but I suppose you make an acceptable argument."

"So, does that mean--"

"Let me finish," He practically growled, and Jessica immediately shut up. This was probably no time to show off her bruised ego by talking back. "I personally think you don't deserve any sort of leniency from us after what you pulled last week. None of this would have happened if it wasn't for what you did. And to top it all off, you had to spend almost a week in the hospital. Do you even know what kind of bill is going to be thrown our way?"

"Well, I--"

"No, of course you don't. You don't know anything about it." Jeffrey shook his head, exasperated.

Jessica took a deep breath, attempting to calm herself. "You're right."

She felt as though she was going to be sick. The amount of self-control being used at that moment was extraordinary; she was almost surprised her head didn't explode from all the explicit words and phrases piling up within.

"Here's what's going to happen," Jeffrey began after a few moments of intense silence. "You're going to go to school, do every single assignment given including homework, and you're going to pass with flying colors."

"She does that already, dear," Marlene said. Jeffrey glared at her in return, to which she quickly voiced an apology and told him to continue.

"As I was saying, you're going to do all of this. Understood?" Jessica nodded. "If you agree to this and follow through, then I suppose we can come to some sort of a compromise regarding Jason and Isabel. I don't like it one bit, but I'd rather this little incident didn't happen again. We don't need anyone getting suspicious or something."

"Of course not," Jessica mumbled.

"And," Jeffrey added, his voice taking on a more menacing tone. "You are to follow what we spoke about in the hospital."

"You mean the--"

"Don't say it! I don't even want to hear anything more about it ever again. You know what I said, and you are to obey it by any means necessary. Is that understood?" Jessica didn't reply right away, as she closed her eyes and held back tears. Only now was it really sinking in. "I said, is that understood?"

"Yes. Yes, I understand."

"And you're going to follow each and every request I've laid out?"

As if it was really a "request" as opposed to an order.

"I'll do whatever you guys say."

She wiped away a stray tear as she said it; lest her father see it and change his mind or something.

"I feel a great change coming on," Marlene said with a happy smile. "I think our family is finally going to go back to normal. Don't you two?"

Jeffrey grunted in return, and Jessica gave her mother a smile. As they pulled onto the street where they lived, the red headed young woman suddenly felt her life changing for the umpteenth time that month. The few times before, it had changed for the absolute better; because he made it all better.

But now?

Now...Jessica was sure what lie ahead was only the start of something even her wildest nightmares couldn't foresee.