Bedtime

Curled up in my blankets, a warmed up rice sock pressed between my belly and thighs, I slowly suck on the candy I bought today.
'Tainted Love' by soft plays softly in the background.

My eyes are fixed on my window, the sunset there is a beautiful mix of intense colors. A small smile is set across my mouth. Such a wonderful scene.

A knock sounds at my door and I tear my gaze away from my view and stare at the door.
I don't want to leave the warm, comforting confines of my blanket. No, I wouldn't dare even stick a pinky toe out into that cold air.

So I opt for the always popular cry of "Who is it?"

"It's me, Blake"

A course of energy goes through me as at this words. It's a bundle of both positive and negative.

"Come in"
I thank God that I don't stutter in my reply.

The door opens a small amount and Blake slides his body inside, shutting it behind him. He stands there, leaning against the wall for a minute, just looking around my room.

"Do you need something?"
I mumble, pushing the piece of candy in my mouth underneath my tongue so I don't choke.

"No-well, yes"

I wait a minute, brows raised. He doesn't say anything further.
"Well? what is it?"

He clears his throat, and scratches the back of his head.

"I feel I-um owe you some explanations"
Ha, no kidding
I spit the candy out and rewrap it in it's little plastic covering, placing it back in the paper bag. I grip the blankets and move my body upward. I'm sitting on my pillows, back against my head bored, leaving him a place to sit on my bed.

With a sigh he walks over and flops down heavily, making the spring squeak sightly.

"I know some of things that have happened lately have been a little confusing" I give him a look.
"Okay really confusing, so um it's just-well it's like this-your-I-urgh!" He rubs his temples.

"I love you so much Farrah, more then I should"

"What do you mean?"
I cock my head to one side.

"Your a beautiful girl Farrah and guys like me, well we have certain reactions to beautiful girls, we have feelings and we like to..relieve them, do you see what I'm saying?" I blink at him.

"Not really"

"The way we relieve them, the act of um-intercorse, does that, but as your brother and because you are much too young, I could never do that. These feelings they're wrong, very wrong, I mean I'm sick, a bad person for these feelings. Please forgive me"

He looks like he wants to cry when he finishes.

"Your not a bad person Blake, your wonderful" I lean over and wipe a tear that falls down his cheek. I wish he wouldn't cry, it hurts my heart.

A dry laugh escapes his lips "If only you could understand, but maybe it's better that you don't, if you could you'd hate me" He looks down at his hands.

"I couldn't ever hate you" I whisper, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. "I love you"

We stay like this for a long time, when we get tired, I lay back with him. He holds me close, just like it used to be.

"Your perfect Blake" I mumble on the verge of sleep.

"I'm a horrible person"
These words are not directed at me, I can tell by the tone, but sleep overcomes me before I can reply.
Only a small thought it processed before I slip into dreams.
You could never be a horrible person...