Bedtime

It's my birthday today. I'm finally a teenager. I've crossed that invisible line between people thinking I'm young to them thinking I'm a young lady, as my mother says anyway.

The sky is clear and blue, a few cotton ball clouds floating here and there.
Giving one glance at it from my bedroom window, I hurry downstairs to the kitchen. There my mother is pulling a cake out of the oven. The glorious smell of red velvet fills the room.

"Let it cool, then we can add the icing" She says with a smile, setting the sheet cake down on a tray next to me.

"Mkay...Where's blake?" I question glancing into the living room to see only my father watching football.

"He had work this morning and he's skateboarding with his friends after"
She answers getting out the ingredients for the frosting.

"Will he be home for dinner?"

"Oh no doubt honey, your his baby sister, he won't miss it"
A part of me has a feeling things aren't going to turn out so cheekily, but I ignore it and begin to get ready for the day.

*

As I search through my closet for a dress to wear, I see something catching the light out of the corner of my eye. I turn around and see a silver object sitting on my vanity. Walking over I find that is a heart shaped locket sitting atop an envelope. I pick up the thin chain and admire the heart hanging on the end. I gently grasp it and open it. Inside there are engraved words.
Love is what we are.

I smile then reach for the envelope. I pull out a small powder blue piece of paper, it smells like peppermint. Written in soft cursive are the words;I will always be there for you, in body or spirit. I will never leave you. I will always protect you from the monsters.

There is no signature, but I know it is from blake.

I quickly unclasp and re-clasp the locket around my neck. It hangs just below my collar bones. Perfect. Just perfect.

I pick out a fitting, lace dress that stops just above my knees. It's not too frilly, it's just right.
After getting dressed I sit patiently with my father, him yelling at the TV and trying to explain to me what all the men running about in tights were doing. But after almost 30 minutes of him talking I am only more confused. Giving up, I politely excuse myself and retreat to the kitchen. Mother is sitting at the island, reading a magazine and sipping ice tea.
She glances up as I enter the room.

"Ready to ice the cake?" I nod sitting down next to her. The cake is in front of us, the big bowl of pale pink frosting next to it, along with two dull icing knives.

We begin to slather the cake with the rich cream. I try to be careful to not get any on myself.
Soon we finish and mother allows me to lick the spoon she mixed the icing with while she washes the dishes. As I cleaned off the utensil, I look out the window. I see the long shadows cast about our lawn from the tree's there, it must be late afternoon. My eye's dart to the grandfather clock, visible in the hallway ten feet away. It's 4:53.

Judy was supposed to be here at 4:30. I don't mention it to mother, who didn't seem to have noticed, telling myself she's just running late.

I keep my eye's glued to the clock. Seconds go by. Then minutes. Then almost a whole other hour. I sigh and go into the living room where my parents are. I pick up the phone from the coffee table and take a seat on the couch with my mother.

"Judy is over an hour late" I mumble dialing the digits Judy gave me the week before.

"Hello?" answers a woman's dull voice.

"Mrs. March? This is Farrah, Farrah Porter. Your daughter Judy was suppose to come over today, for my birthday"

"Yes well, I decided she shouldn't go, she won't be arriving"

I was cut off from saying anything else by the dial tone. I slowly pulled the phone away from my ear, pressing the 'end' button.

"She's not coming" I murmured, leaning back into the couch. A part of me felt disappointed, another part just annoyed the her mother didn't call sooner.

"Oh, I'm sorry honey bun, want some cake before I start dinner?" I nod and follow my mother to the kitchen where she proceeds to cut me a large piece.
I shove the glorious food in my mouth, barely tasting it. After a few bites, I push my plate away.

"You know what mother? I'm not that hungry after all. I'm gonna on a walk" I mumble, walking over to the door and slipping on my black ballet flats.

The weather of the fall afternoon is warm with a slight breeze.
A cloud passes over the descending sun, casting strange, dismal shadows.

I wrap my arms around my middle, keeping my eye's on the cement sidewalk as I near the park. A few children giggle and play games on a patch of dirt where the grass was completely beaten down and ripped up. I find an abandoned swing set and sit down, closing my eyes.
I try to let everything but the noises, scents and feelings around me fall out of my mind.

A breath of air tickles my hairs across my face.
The hinges of the swing set squeak as the empty swings sway in the wind.
A charcoal grill somewhere in the distance is cooking hotdogs.
A drop of rain hits my forehead, running down, over my eyelid, catching onto my lashes.

I open my eyes and look up into the sky, it's becoming increasingly dark.
A ripple of thunder shudders across the sky. The children squeal and race to there mothers.

Another drop hits me, then three more, then seven more. Soon it's pouring, but I do not move, I stare out at the now deserted park. My eye's land on an object laying in the middle of the dirt patch. I squint, but cannot make it out completely.

Standing I walk over to it. As I near it, I find that it is a teddy bear. I pick it up and inspect it. It's seams are busting, the fur worn down considerably, it's missing a button for the left eye.

I sat down in on the damp dirt. Clutching the teddy bear to my chest. My eyes shut once more and my mind relaxed. Soon all faded into darkness.

*X*

I wake as a pair of arms wrap around me. I want to scream, but then Blake's voice fills my ears.

"Sh, baby girl it's only me" He whispers picking my up bridle style. I look around, taking in my surroundings. I'm still in the park, but it's pitch black, the rain slowed to a dribble.
I fell asleep.

I shiver and realize I'm soaked through and through.
I still hold the teddy bear, he weighs more from absorbing all the rain.

Soon I'm placed in the warm back seat of Blake's car. He shuts the door and climbs in the front seat, turning on the heat full blast. Something I thank him silently for.
I drift off once more as we drive, the gentle hum of the motor lulling me.

I wake for second time being picked up and carried. I blink against the bright lights as we enter the house. It's silent, no TV, no conversion, no anything.

"Where's mother and father?" I mumble into his warm chest.

"Looking for you, I called them from the car, they'll be home in a half hour or so"

''Mkay" I nuzzle his warm t-shirt. He carries me up the stairs, into my room and into my the bathroom connecting to it. He sets me in the bathtub, taking a seat on the side.
He make's me sit up, grabbing the bear away from me and setting it on the counter.

He unzips the back of my dress and gently pries the disgusting fabric from my body. Then he removes my shoes and my underwear.

I just sit there, shivering. My limbs feel so heavy, and a dizzy haze clouds my vision. I lay back and close my eyes.
So tired...

A hand pressed against my forehead.
"Your burning up" He mutters turning on the tap. I shake more violently as luke warm, almost cool water fills the tub. Starting at my toes and seeping up to my head.
"S-So cold" I whimper.

"I know baby, but your burning up, this will help"

A soft cloth with cold syrupy substance is softly placed on my shoulders, running down over my chest to my tummy and down my legs. My skin seems to almost ache in pain with touch, becoming more sensitive as he washes me.

He helps me into a sitting position and lightly scrubs my back. He rings the soap out of the rag and runs it under the tap, then begins to rinse off the soap.

He finishes and lifts me from the tub wrapping my small form in a fluffy towel. I find myself on my bed, Blake drying me off.

He puts clean underwear on me and has me lay down, pulling a thin sheet over my body. He kisses my fiery cheek and turns to leave when I stop him.
"Blake..don't go" He stops in the doorway sighing. He returns to the bed, climbing over me. He presses himself far away from me, against the wall. He strokes my forehead softly with the back of his hand.

He leans over and kisses the corner of my mouth.
"Happy birthday baby girl, I wish I could have made it better"