I Didn't Lie

I had different ways of dealing with grief. I would dance a lot, I wouldn’t eat, I would run or I would watch a lot of movies. My mom noticed, my best friend noticed. Everyone that really knew me could tell when I was feeling upset. Mad or sad.

When I was twelve I began feeling depressed. I think I never got over my father’s dead or maybe it was just a change in my body. Maybe I was just growing up. I remember I stopped liking many things, I didn’t want to go out and I didn’t want to do anything but dance until my bones hurt. I met my best friend about a year after that and he slowly pulled me out of that.

When we first met he was just beginning to party and he made sure people knew. I remember he was the popular emo-like kid everyone liked because he knew what to do when to do it and how to do it. He was always making new friends and cursing at the ones that couldn’t stand him. At one point that was me. I would talk about how much I didn’t like him with the ones that complained too.

We didn’t even have many classes together the first time I talked to him but I think he liked teasing the quiet ones.

I was sitting by myself staring at my Japanese lunch my mom had made for me. I was in a classroom because I thought the cafeteria was too crowded that day. I was sitting there by myself listening to my mp3 player when I saw the classroom door open loudly. I think I jumped too. I saw him stumble inside while he was half making out with a redheaded girl.
I stared at them for a few seconds but then I decided I should leave. I was getting up to leave when he saw me. I really do remember the look he gave me. He smirked and looked at me as if he wanted to say “yes, just what I needed”. I don’t remember what he said to the girl but he used his cat like tactics to make her leave.

I was a little bit shorter than I am right now and was even skinnier so (he told me later about it) as he eyed me all he could think was “wow, a skinny tall kid with a little lunch box in a small desk… cute”.

He walked in his own weird way he does towards me and sat down on the desk in front of where I was. I was looking at him weirdly thinking to myself “great, I don’t like this guy” but then he kept staring at me with a weird smile. He looked like he was trying not to smile but he was doing a bad job doing it.

I thought he was making fun of me so I looked away, took a deep breath and waited for him to say something. He didn’t.

-Skinny boy, ain’t you gonna eat that? ‘cause it sure looks yummy- it was one of those times I didn’t want to eat but I had to make my mom believe I was eating so I didn’t really hesitate in giving it to him. I took the black box and held it up for him.

He laughed, cursed a little bit and took the box, he ate most of it with his hands because he ended up breaking the chopsticks I had brought.

At that moment I thought he was arrogant and he bothered me, but when he began talking to me about the most random things I ever heard I had to end up laughing. The next day he went looking for me again right after the class was over. He had skipped the class before so he had been waiting outside for me to be done.

The first time I went to a party with him I got drunk. The second time I went to a party with him I decided that smoking something that wasn’t Tabaco couldn’t be so bad since I already smoked. And on the third party I went with him we ended up going back to his house and I slept over for the first time. I even ended up crying with him because of how drunk we were.

When I began being home-schooled I thought he would get mad and would curse some more but he actually laughed and said I was lucky. Since the first day I was home-schooled he would visit me all the time and he would make me cook for him saying it was my punishment for not letting him eat my mom’s lunch everyday anymore.