The Book Of Love

"Your pa's not gonna come after me with a shotgun, is he?" Aaron asked in a serious voice.

"No," I laughed at him. "I don't even know if he owns a shotgun."

"Okay, good."

We walked up a few steps onto the porch, and as I was about to pull open the screen door, I felt his hand slip into mine. My heart fluttered, and I looked down and then back up to his eyes. It was different than the way he held my hand at the diner, completely different.

"I'm sorry," he quickly said, pulling his hand out of mine. "I'm just nervous."

I grinned. "You don't have to be sorry, and there's nothing to be nervous about," I told him. "I just, I don't think that it would be a good idea if my father saw us holding hands."

"Right," he nodded.

I gave Aaron one last reassuring smile before I pulled open the screen door and we walked in.

"Daddy? I'm back," I called for him. I kept my promise and was back before the sun went down. Aaron and I decided to walk around San Angelo for a few hours after we left the diner, so by the time we arrived back at my house it was around four o'clock.

I heard him set down something in the kitchen then appear around the corner. He held a towel in his hands as he walked towards us. He stopped about three feet away and said nothing. My dad wasn't very social, so he didn't really know how to handle a situation like this. I imagined that he was like that his whole life--shy around people, hesitant and unsure.

"Hi, Mr. Anderson. I'm Aaron," he spoke as he reached his hand out for my father to shake. My dad didn't shake his hand, he just looked at it then back up to Aaron.

"William," my dad said. "I-I..," he stammered, looking for the right words. "Dinner should be ready in twenty minutes." Then he turned away and retreated back to the kitchen.

"I don't think he likes me," Aaron said quietly, keeping his voice low.

"No, he loves you, I promise. He just.. he doesn't really know what to do when it comes to meeting new people or conversing with someone other than his daughter. It's hard for him, I suppose."

He gave his head a few nods, understanding now.

"Do you need some help, Daddy?" I asked as I walked into the kitchen, Aaron right behind me.

"No, darlin'. I'm okay."

"Alright," I replied as I went to a drawer and pulled out three forks anyway.

"This is some collection you've got, Mr. Anderson," Aaron said, gesturing to what he was talking about.

My father turned around to find him looking at a pile of neatly stacked puzzle boxes next to a wall by the kitchen table. "Oh. Yeah," he said quietly before turning back to the bowl of salad.

I frowned knowing that Aaron was trying his best to make it easier on everyone and that my dad was still having a hard time. I appreciated his effort, though. I grabbed three plates from the cupboard and turned to my father. "Would you like to eat inside or outside? It's quite nice out. We could watch the sun go down."

He didn't look up, he just kept adding croutons. "It doesn't matter."

I nodded, even though he wouldn't notice, before I backed away. "Aaron?"

"Yes?" he asked, turning away from the sliding glass door that led out to the patio, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

"Inside or outside?"

"Outside, please," he said with a smile.

I grabbed the plates and cups while Aaron grabbed the forks, knives and napkins. He opened the door me, and then we laid out the silverware and everything else in their spots on the table out back.

"Crap, I forgot the salad," I muttered.

"You stay here, I'll get it," Aaron told me. Before I could protest, he was already on the other side of the glass door. He came back out a moment later and took a seat next to me. My father came out with a plate few minutes after. Then he opened the grill and put the steaks on the plate before sitting across from me.

"Grace?" I questioned, looking to my father. He nodded and bowed his head. He held out his left hand for me to take and was reluctant to hold out his right for Aaron. Aaron smiled when he did, though, and took both of our hands.

"Bless us O Lord, and these thy gifts, which we are about to receive, from thy bounty, through Christ, our Lord. Amen," my dad repeated just like every night we had dinner. I didn't know if Aaron was Catholic or if he even practiced a religion, and I suddenly felt bad for suggesting to say Grace.

I went to pull my hand from Aaron's, but he didn't let go. He smiled to me and pulled our hands underneath the table, resting them on his right thigh.

"This looks delicious, Mr. Anderson."

My dad hesitated before saying anything. "Thank you."

"Aaron was the quarterback for his high school, Daddy. He's so good at throwing a football that he even won me a tiger," I stated, trying to make things less awkward as I poured dressing over my lettuce.

"Oh, that's exciting," he answered trying to sound enthused.

"Yes, sir, it was. We only lost one game all season during my senior year."

"Congratulations."

Aaron smiled as he cut some of his steak. "Thank you," he said before changing the subject. "You seem to have a lot of puzzles. Do you have a favorite?"

"The city of Boston," my father replied immediately. He built it all the time. On the first day of every month he would dig through piles and piles of boxes and build the one thousand piece puzzle in a single day. Then he would clean it up and stow it away until the first of the next month.

"Any particular reason why?"

My father shrugged. "I was born there."

"Really? I've seen pictures of it, and it looks like a nice city to live in," Aaron said, only receiving a nod.

Nobody knew what to say after that, so we all just kept quiet. All that could be heard was the sound of forks tapping our salad bowl and knives scraping against our plates. I kept my eyes focussed on my dad most of the time, wondering what was going through his mind.

He'd never had anyone over for dinner while I was alive, and I wondered what he was like before my mother died. Was it easier for him to talk? Was he more open about things? Did he show emotion and have fun? There were tons of questions swimming around in my head, but I knew now wasn't the time to ask them. Actually, I doubt he would ever really tell me anything about who he and my mother really were even if I did ask him another time.

When we had finished, we cleaned up the table and stacked our plates next to the sink so my father could wash and dry them. He always told me that he liked to do the dishes, so I always let him. I never understood why he found joy in it. Maybe it was like a hobby to him. I didn't know.

Aaron and I had ventured back into the family room and sat down. My dad walked past a minute later and announced that he was going to lay down. Aaron stood up and reached out to shake his hand, but my dad still didn't take it. He told my father it was great to meet him and asked if it was okay if he could see more of me. After hesitating and looking to me, my father finally nodded. Then he walked down the hall and into his bedroom.

"I'm sorry for all of the awkwardness. I can tell my dad likes you, even if you might not think he does. He just has a hard time talking about things and showing the way he feels. He's been like that since I was a kid. I'm sorry if he made you feel uncomfortable," I told Aaron.

"You don't need to apologize. You have no control over any of that. And I think your father's a great man, really. He's so calm and reserved, and he did a great job raising you. He loves you, I can see it. Please don't feel bad or think that I don't like your father."

"Okay," I whispered with a nod of my head.

We sat in silence for a few moments before Aaron spoke, a tiny smirk etched on his lips. "Could I see your room?"

"Um.. Sure, yeah," I nodded, a little on the nervous side as I started towards my room. I felt Aaron's hand wrap around my own and I looked up to him, smiling. He gave me one of the cutest grins I had ever seen, his eyes shining. I could have melted into a puddle right there.

We walked down the tiny hallway, and I pushed open my door. I walked in and spun in a circle with my arms out wide. "This is it," I said. "I can't really afford to decorate it," I shrugged. Not having enough money didn't really bother me. I suppose I'd grown used to it. I mean, it would have been nice to have fancy things, but I didn't need them. Although, I knew I would need money if I wanted to get out this place and see the world.

I watched as he looked around my room, first at my pale pink bedspread with the tiger he'd won me placed in the middle of my pillows. Then to a rather large bookcase on the wall nearest him and the door. He looked at my nightstand and smiled when he saw a picture of my father and I grinning in the backyard. We didn't have our arms wrapped around each other or anything like most fathers and daughters would, but I guess I was okay with that. I would have preferred him to hold me close, but I knew he wasn't like that and would probably never be. Aaron's eyes traveled to my desk before landing back on the wall above my bed. There, hung a pretty big map of the world. I'd put tacks on certain places and labeled the city's name on a strip of paper showing where I wanted to travel to.

Aaron walked over to my bed and stared at the map for a few minutes before turning to me. "You sure have a lot of places you want to visit," he noted with a soft grin.

"Yeah, forty-four cities," I replied as I crossed the room so I was right next to him.

"Where do you wanna go the most?" he whispered.

I hopped on my bed and moved so I was right in front of the map before I pointed to a spot. "Right there," I whispered back.

He looked at the small piece of paper and read the city. "Moscow. Why there?"

I sat down on my bed then leaned back against my pillow. I was a little surprised when Aaron followed my actions and laid down next to me. I sighed before turning to look at him. "I don't really know. It snows a lot there, and it's really cold, unlike Texas. Plus, they speak a whole other language, and there's tons of incredible buildings there. I bet their food's good, too."

He smiled before closing his eyes even though it was just past five o'clock. "You know where I wanna go?"

"Where?"

"Wherever you go."