Couldn't Hate Enough to Love

Shippagan, New Brunswick. Luc's hometown. How did I end up in Shippagan? I'm sure when Max suggested a vacation he meant somewhere tropical like Mexico or Jamaica. Anywhere but here.

It's like there was a permanent gray haze of depression that hung over the town. The last time I had been here was the summer of Luc's death. Spending time with Suzanne and Charlene.

Tara and I had planned to visit this summer, but I never thought I would follow through. I looked at the small house, it had once been Luc and Charlene's. Now it was only her. How could she tolerate living here, maybe she was worse off than me.

I walked up the few steps and knocked on the door. Charlene poked her head out the door, before a tired look on her face. I should have called first.

"Kris? What are you doing here?" Good question.

"Uh, here to visit. I needed a change of scenery."

"And you chose Shippagan?"

I shrugged. Not intentionally. I don't know why I came.

She invited me in, and we talked idly. She looked tired, but she was adjusting better than I was. She was pursuing her dream to be a doctor. She still spent time with the Bourdon's, and yes she still missed him.

I didn't have much to tell her, or that I wanted to share. She never asked about Tara, which I found peculiar, The two were practically best friends. I didn't bring it up, afraid to admit to our fight if she did ask.

She let out a yawn, my cue to leave.

I was lying awake, it was past five in the morning. I wondered if I was battling a case of insomnia. I hadn't slept a good eight hours of sleep in over a week. Maybe this is when people get brainwaves that they think are good ideas, until it all plays out.

I knew what I had to do. I got out of bed unraveling myself from the blankets. I put on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt not bothering to shower. Slipping into my shoes, and exiting the hotel. The sun wasn't up yet, so I made my way through the town in the darkness.

I stood at the iron gate, taking a deep breath before entering. I squinted at the graves, reading the names, before coming to a stop.

LUC BOURDON 1987 -2008
On sleepless roads, the sleepless go
May angels lead you in

My throat swelled up, and my eyes burned. "Luc," I kneeled in front of his grave.

"I miss you so much buddy, you were my best friend..." My voice shook. I could feel the tears trickling down my face. Why did this happen? Why you, it's not fair. I was in hysterics, but I knew I needed to be there.

I heard soft footsteps behind me, and I caught my breath. Turning my head, I saw her standing there. I didn't want to believe it. How? How, could she be here? The world is so big, yet you always run into someone familiar, no matter how far from home.

Tara stood, looking at me a solemn look on her face. She had a bouquet of flowers in her hand. I got onto my feet, wiping the tears from my face. "Hi," I whispered.

She walked past me, resting the flowers on Luc's grave. She stood staring at the grave, shaking. It took me a minute to realize she was crying.

I pulled her into a tight embrace, letting her cry. "I'm so sorry," I whispered.

She nodded her head, tears streaming down her face.

"Hey," I pressed my forehead to hers looking her in the eye.
"Goodbye is not forever, goodbye is not the end. It simply means I'll miss you, until we meet again."

It's what she had told me at the funeral. She gave me a weak smile, twining her fingers in mine.

Luc had brought us together again.

"Luc the matchmaker," Tara laughed.