Not Who I Thought You Were

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Flannery asked for what must have been the millionth time.

I sighed and stared out the window of my private jet. “I’ll have to do it sometime, won’t I?”

Her eyes fleeted to the back for a moment and back to me, her expression concerned. “I just don’t know if this is the way to do it.”

I looked over at her, a small smile on my lips. “Flan, you worry way too much. It’ll be fine.”

“Um who are you and what have you done with my always worrying sister?” she smirked at me.

I rolled my eyes and threw my pillow at her. “Seriously, Flannery, it’s been 6 months. I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about.”

“And if there is?”

I sighed, shrugging and looking back as well for a moment. “I’m a good runner.”

Flannery sighed, shaking her head. “Lain, you know running is not always the answer.”

The bathroom door in the back opened and Tom Felton, my boyfriend, walked out. I smiled at him after I threw Flannery a pointed look. “We’ll be landing soon,” I told him.

“Great,” he said in his adorable British accent with a smile on his face. He sat down next to me and kissed my hand. “Excited to go home, love?”

I smiled, all worries pushed aside for the moment. Yes, worries. I might have tried to make Flannery think I was cool with everything, but I was far from it. I had been out of contact from everyone back in LA. I didn’t know how warm my welcome would be. No one even knew I was coming home today. Still, I couldn’t let anyone know of my fears, least of all Flannery or Tom. “I’m more excited that you’re coming with me.”

He chuckled, kissing my forehead as I put my head on his shoulder. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world, would I? Now that you’re my girl, I don’t ever want to be away from you.”

I blushed and swatted his arm playfully. I settled back in my seat and looked out the window. LA, it was so close. I didn’t want to go back. Well, I did. I missed my own home, my own room, my own bed. I missed my friends. But I didn’t want to see Joe. There, I admitted it. I didn’t want to see him. I had tried my best not to think about him all this time that I was on tour, but it was hard. I had really fallen for him, and I just – I couldn’t have it. I couldn’t do it.

Tom’s lips brushed the side of my head. “Hey, you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I smiled. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Flannery look away pointedly. I sighed. Okay so I wasn’t fine, but that didn’t mean anything. I could get through this. One day at a time. Who said I’d even see him? L.A. was huge. I could go weeks without seeing him. Yes, that’s what I’d do. I just wouldn’t see him. I put my head on Tom’s shoulder and kept looking out the window, wondering just how hard that would really be.
“What time is her flight supposed to come in?” Demi asked, looking at the schedule board. “Wait, hat flight is she on?”

“It’s a private jet,” Nick reminded her. “They won’t have it listed.”

“Flannery said they’d be getting here around 2,” Kevin said, not looking up from his phone. He was texting Danielle, no doubt, soon to be wife and new Jonas.

I rolled my eyes and stood to the side slightly, wondering what the hell I was doing here. It wasn’t like she’d want to see me. Stupid Nick and Demi had to, of course, drag me here, those assholes. I would have much rather been at home or hanging out with my new girlfriend. Yes, new girlfriend. I had waited a few months, too heartbroken over what had happened with Lainey. I had liked her for so long, had worshipped her. Every since we were in school, I wanted to know her, and when I finally got that chance, I couldn’t help but fall in love with her. Still, it was just too hard. I couldn’t do it anymore. She was too messed up. I had tried to help her, I really had. But she kept pushing me away. Every inch I got, I was pushed back a foot.

Nick looked over at me and sighed. “She can still be your friend, you know?”

All their attentions turned to me. Even Kevin looked away from his phone. I rolled my eyes. “Thanks for the dramatics, Nick, but I don’t really care. I’m only here because you made me come.”

“Joe,” Demi sighed. “You know how she is. She still loves you. She’s just too scared to admit it.”

“I’m over her,” I shrugged.

“Right, we all know,” Kevin rolled his eyes. “Aria, your great love. How long is that going to last exactly?”

“Shut up, Kevin,” I grumbled. I knew how my family felt about my girlfriend, but frankly, I didn’t care. She helped me forget, she eased the dull ache in my chest.

Nick’s phone buzzed and thankfully, they stopped paying attention to me. “Great, they’re getting out of security now.”

I took a deep breath. I wanted to see her, I admitted it. But still, I didn’t as well. Damn Nick and Demi… I looked around, wondering where she was going to come from. I wondered what would happen, what we would say, how we would go on. Nick put a comforting hand on my shoulder and I smiled slightly. I had months to prepare for this, a moment I didn’t even want to happen but did at the same time. And I still wasn’t ready. Well, ready or not, this was it. I was going to see her again, the girl I loved, the girl I still thought about, the girl I had really opened my heart to, the girl that wasn’t my girlfriend.