Jasey Rae

I woke up from the sun pouring through my windows, my room as bright as the sun itself. Yawning, I stretched out my limbs and relaxed, feeling something soft on the patch of bare skin just above my shorts line. I looked up, seeing the furry husky puppy asleep on the bed, half its body on my stomach and the other half-spread out on the bed.

I arched an eyebrow. A bed with no sheets or blankets. My bed? My bed. I looked up, scanning my eyes around the room. Dresser drawers were half-open, revealing their empty contents, the walls were bare, and nothing was on the shelves except little knickknacks. My room? My room. Why was I in my room?

The memories of last night flooded back to me, hitting me like a ton of bricks. My stomached dropped and sadness washed over my body, the feeling of abandonment filling my body. The bare walls and empty drawers reminded me of why my seventeenth birthday was more bitter than sweet.

I looked down at the sleeping dog, sighing deeply as I lightly shook him. "Rambo, Rambo, get up." The puppy responded immediately, slowly getting up and stretching lazily. He yawned tiredly, causing me to yawn also. He stepped over and licked my face a few times, stopping once I started to pet him. "Come on, bud. Let's get you outside and we'll let you go meet Uncle Jack."

After hooking Rambo's black leash to his matching black collar, I walked downstairs, only to find my mother and Jake at the kitchen table, not a word leaving their lips. Jake looked like he was about to cry any second, and I felt terrible for that. He was really hoping our father to come. And Mom looked like she was going to punch a wall any minute.

"I'm going to Jack's." I mumbled, hoping I could make it to the door before either one said anything.

"Jasey-"

I sighed, walking back into the kitchen, seeing my mother looking up at me with sad eyes. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay, honey?"

I leaned against the doorframe, shrugging. "I'm fine." Never had I told a worse lie than that. I knew lying like that wasn’t going to get me anywhere. But lying to myself was just a way to forget all of this.

"Honey, I'm so sorry about last night. Your father-"

"Mom, it's fine. It's not like I trusted him." I lied again, cringing a little. "I'm going back to Jack's. Thanks for last night, really. I had...fun. And thanks for giving me Rambo. This is the best present ever. I love you both. But don't wait up. Please."

[jaseyrae]

"He's fucking adorable, Chicago!" Jack laughed, rolling around in his front yard with my new puppy. I laughed as Rambo jumped on Jack, pushing him down to the ground. Jack had found his Personality Twin.

"Thanks. I'm surprised they got me him. They usually never spend so much on me." I smiled widely, shrugging.

"What's wrong?"

I blinked, cringing a little. I knew Jack could see right through my smiles. He could always tell if I was sad, even if I put my best fake smile on, ever since I met him. He always has, always will. "Nothing."

"Chicago, I know that look. That's the 'Something terrible happened last night and I want to tell you about it but I don't want to bother you' look. Trust me, I know that look from Alex."

I sighed, stroking my hand across the sleeping dog's head that was now lying in my lap. This dog has such mood swings practically. One minute he'd be full of energy, the next minute he'd be dead tired. "It's nothing really. I just...you know how my dad was supposed to come last night? To visit my family and I for my birthday?"

"Oh God. He didn't-"

"He didn't show up." I finished his sentence, the abandonment feeling washing over me again. My hands started to shake, feeling the tears coming on. But I blinked them back, not wanting to cry in front of my best friend.

"Jasey, shit, I'm so-"

"It's whatever. It's not like I expected him to come anyways." I lied, cringing a little. Of course I expected him to come. I wanted him to come. And I put all my anger aside and completely trusted him. What a stupid thing to do.

"Jase-"

"I said it's fine, Jack. Really." I stood up, waking up the dog quickly. I needed to take a walk. "Let's walk, Jack."

The walk was silent for what seemed like hours, but was merely only ten minutes. The only sound coming from the three of us was the Rambo's paws hitting the cement sidewalk. Many people were outside.

Some were doing last minute yard work before the leaves started to fall. Others were washing their cars or getting in them to go places. Few were out and running, music blasting in their ears as they jogged by. And the rest were just doing miscellaneous stuff like shooting hoops or kids drawing with chalk.

I noticed that the neighborhood was starting to become familiar. A way I used to walk many times before all this stupid drama began at my boyfriend's party. Jack noticed too, his step slowing a little. "Jasey-"

"I want to go this way." I want to see him is what I wanted to say. I wanted to go talk to him, knock on his door and make everything like it used to before we went to that stupid party. Before I messed up everything. I just wanted to be friends again. I wouldn't even care if Alex never loves me; I just wanted to be best friends again.

My step quickened. "I want to see him, Jack." I was starting to sprint when the large white house came into view. A house I had been at so many times just to hang out with my best friend. Jack was quick to follow. "I have to see him, Jack."

"Chicago, slow down-" Jack called out, but stopped when he noticed that I had stopped in front of the white house. "Jasey, think this through first."

"I've thought about this, Jack! I think about this everyday! I think about what I'm going to do to make everything right again! To make everything normal! I think about how he's going to react, and I think about what he's going to say! God dammit, I've thought about this ever since the day we fought! This is the most I've thought about anything in my entire life!" Last night's tears had reformed, falling down my cheeks and quivering chin.

Jack responded immediately, taking his large thumbs and wiping away the salty water droplets away. He kept his hands cupping my cheeks. "Hey, sh, Jasey Rae. Shh." He whispered, wrapping his arms around my body tightly. I let out an unexpected sob, shocking even me that it came out. “Jasey, it’s okay. I promise everything will be okay.”

I let out another sob, squeezing him a little tighter. “Yeah, my dad promised he’d come for my birthday and look how that came out. He didn’t even call.”

"Chicago, look at me."

My eyes slowly found their way up to Jack's, his gaze locking with mine. "When I make a promise, I keep it. I promise you everything will be okay."

And for the first time since I met Jack Bassam Barakat, he had no joking tone in his voice. He was completely serious. And that made me smile, despite the fact that I felt like dying. "Jack, I love you."

"I love you too, Chicago." He smiled, pulling me in for another tight hug.

I sighed, leaning my head on his chest. Well, more so his stomach since I was so short. He was almost a foot taller than me. I thought about Alex again, sighing deeply. This was going to take a long time the rate we're going. I'm going to be leaving by the time we're friends again.

Rambo started tugging at his leash again, harder this time. I could hear a whine in his throat and a slight growl. "Rambo, stop." I mumbled. But he only tugged harder, the whine becoming a full out bark. I sighed, pulling back to see what the problem was. "Rambo, what is your deal-" I stopped when he full out sprinted for the house Jack and I were in front of. "Rambo!" We ran after him, but we knew it was no use; Rambo was fast, even for a puppy.

He sprinted up to the yard, barking at a small brown and white dog. I cringed, knowing whose dog it belonged to. Which meant his owner was outside also. Rambo saw the two little dogs, barked, and started whining again. I ran over to him, hoping to God I could get out of there fast. "Rambo!" I scolded, grabbing his leash and wrapping it around my hand. "Bad dog!"

"Chicago?"

I cringed slightly, starting to regret ever walking down here in the first place. I reluctantly looked up, my breath hitching in my throat when my eyes connected with familiar deep brown ones. One that's I've looked in so many times and adored. "Alex...." I found myself breathe. He was leaning against the doorframe, his thin arms crossed over his chest. His normally perfect hair was sticking out everywhere, looking like he just got out of bed, and his eyes showed sadness, like his mind kept thinking about how I was kicked out.

He stared at me for what seemed like hours, none of us moving. I'm sure Jack didn't know what to do, but neither did I.

I couldn't take it anymore, so I stood up, my new dog in my arms, ready to leave. I couldn't even talk. But how long had he been out there? Had he seen me cry? Had he seen my breakdown about how I just wanted everything to be back to normal? How I just want to be his friend again? "How long were you out here?" I whispered, but I knew he heard me, or at least read my lips. I felt like crying again, and I'm sure my face looked like I had been crying.

"Long enough." He said simply, standing up straight and shoving his hands in his sweatshirt pockets. He flicked his head towards the inside of his house. "You wanna go talk?"

I inhaled sharply, my grip on my dog tightening a little. He wanted to talk? To me? "You wanna talk...?"

"Well, unless you don't want to." He shrugged, a subtle hint of smirk in his eyes.

I looked over at Jack, expecting him to still be standing on the sidewalk, but flinched when he was right next to me, already taking the puppy out of my arms. He grinned widely. "Part 3. Happy birthday, Jasey Rae." He whispered in my ear before kissing it lightly. "I'll explain later."

A slow smile started forming on my lips. "Jack Bassam, you're amazing."

"Go on. Go talk to him. I'll take Rambo to my house, kay? See you later. You're telling me everything tonight." He winked, already on his way.

I smiled to myself, looking back over to Alex. He gave me a small smile. "Come on, Chicago." He held out his hand, which I slowly took, inhaling sharply when our skins touched. He led me in his house and up to his room, telling his two dogs to go lay down.

We walked in his oh-so-familiar room and sat on his bed; a bed we laid in countless nights after his band's practices.

We sat across from each other, sitting Indian style. I looked at him, a strange feeling washing over me. It was more relief than anything. I was relieved he wasn't glaring at me like he has been for the past while. It was nice for him to look at me, just seeing me.

"Hayley..." I cringed a little. I forgot he still thinks I'm Hayley Johnson. "I-"

I shook my head, cutting him off. "Alex, no. This was all my fault."

"No, if I hadn't left you at the party-"

"No. I could've stopped Sam from kissing me. This was all my fault. If I hadn't...if I hadn't done what I did...we'd be-" I said, my voice just above a whisper. The tears were starting to come again. "Everything would be different."

Alex took a deep breath, looking down at his hands. "But if I didn't kiss Whitney, you wouldn't've gotten together with Foster."

I sighed, looking at my slightly shaking hands. We were just admitting out mistakes, which wasn't really getting us anywhere. But I guess it's a step closer to becoming friends. But the road to being like we were before was a long, long road. "Alex, I...it's okay that you're with Whitney, I guess. I mean, it's not like we were going out or anything. And you had a right to be mad."

"But, Hayley, we WERE going to go out. Well...I hoped we were. I was going to ask you the next day...." He mumbled, his eyes everywhere but looking in mine. "I HOPED you were going to say yes."

"I would've said yes in a heartbeat." I whispered, knowing I couldn't lie to him. Sure, Sam was my boyfriend, and I really shouldn't be talking to Alex, the guy I -------love------ like about how I would have gone out with him in a second if he had asked. But I could never lie to Alex. He's always seen right through me. He can always tell when I'm lying, just like Jack. But with Alex, he can always see what I'm really feeling. If I'm acting happy, but really, I'm sad, he could see it. If I'm smiling, when all I really want to do is cry or punch a wall, he could see it. He could always tell. "You should have just asked me."

"But that fight...the one when you chased after me...." He began, and I cringed.

’I can’t believe you’re being this stupid, Hayley!’
'She's not like other girls, Angela! I am not having a daughter who is so stupid! God dammit! I'm leaving!'

I visibly flinched, the words of my father and Alex repeating in my mind. How they were so similar. The entire fight replaying in my mind, causing me to want to crawl out of my own skin.

"See...how was I supposed to ask you out when I was completely furious as you...and so...goddamn hurt...? That I knew you hated me?"

I shook my head, looking up at him. "No, I never hated you. I was just angry. You...you said...those words...." I whispered, my stomach feeling like it was going to fall out of me at any second. "When you called me stupid...I...I didn't...I couldn't believe you said that...."

"Oh God, no, Hayley, I never meant any of that. I never...you're not stupid at all. I was just angry." He said, his voice begging for to me understand.

"So when you kissed Whitney...I thought...I thought you had moved on. I thought you hated me. Then Jack told me you asked Whitney out, so I said yes to Sam." I continued, the strange feeling of hyperventilating starting to come. My breathing was becoming shallower, short gasps escaping my lips. "God, Alex, you don't know how much I cried that night.... That look...that look you gave me right before you kissed Whitney...I was devastated. Even Jake said he had never seen someone cry so much...." Last night's tears were coming back.

"I only wanted to hurt you as much as you hurt me." He said quietly.

I laughed with no humor, shaking my head slightly. "That's exactly what Jake said."

"Alex, I liked you." I said, looking down at my hands once again. "I still do." There was no denying it. Sure, I like Sam and he’s an amazing guy. But if I had to choose between the two, I'd go with Alex in a heartbeat.

"I still like you, too."

I looked up, my eyes meeting with his deep brown ones. He still likes me? Even after all we've been through? After so much pain I put him through? "You do?"

"I never stopped." He whispered, his face getting closer to mine. I felt my breath hitch in my throat, his hot breath hitting my face. "I never will stop. I'll always like you, Hayley Johnson." He mumbled his lips only a centimeter away. "Forever." He closed the gap slowly, his lips pressing on mine softly. Hayley Johnson, not Jasey Rae Scott, the girl I really am.

I kissed back instantly; the feeling of his lips on mine was amazing. The stories of how your mind goes fuzzy and you feel like you're the only two people on the planet were all true. I was melting into him, getting as close to him as I possibly could.

The kiss wasn't hott and feverish or anywhere close to it. It was sweet and slow, putting all our feelings through it. All these bottled up emotions that we've been keeping inside were finally coming out. Unlike when I kissed Sam. And when I kissed Sam, it was a whole nother thing. It was always quick and heated, but sweet still at the same time. I don't know who was better, but I sure liked Alex's kisses better than Sam's.

[]Sam? Sam. Sam Foster, my boyfriend.

I pushed Alex back a little, earning a confused look from him. "I have a boyfriend, Alex. And you have a girlfriend. Remember?"

He shook his head, already leaning back in. "I broke up with her this morning." He pressed his lips onto mine again, but I still pushed him away. Even though it pained me to do so.

"But I still have a boyfriend." I said, causing him to shrug.

"So? Break up with him. Then we can go out."

I shook my head once more. "Break up with him and then get together with you? Don't you think that'll sound a little suspicious?" He only shrugged. "He'll think I was cheating on him. He'll hate me."

"So what? We'll be together." He said, putting his hand on my cheek, chuckling when he noticed I leaned into it a little. "We'll finally be able to go out. It's what we've wanted, isn't it?"

I shook my head, grabbing his hand with my own. "I...I can't lie to him like that, Alex. He'd hate me for sure. I can't hurt him like that. Sam's such a nice guy, and he likes me a lot. He's one of my best friends. He can't...he can't hate me."

Alex sighed, a little angry. I knew he was thinking the same thing as me: Why is this always so complicated for us? He scratched the back of his neck. "So what do we do? Hayley, I can't just sit there and watch you go out with a guy when we like each other."

I bit my lip, my eyes once again glued to my shaking hands. What could we do? Sam and I haven't been going out for long at all, but he's already been through a lot with me. He's practically one of my best friends. And then I'd break up with him and suddenly go running into Alex's arms? Everyone would suspect I was cheating on Sam. Hell, if I saw someone do that I'd come up with the same conclusion. And being the most popular kid's girlfriend isn’t exactly the best thing. If there were a rumor going around that I had cheated on Sam with Alex, everyone would murder me. "I don't know."

He sighed once more, giving me a look. I looked at him, sighing sadly. He was right. I couldn't go out with someone just because I didn't want to hurt him. It was bound to happen eventually.

"Just give me a minute. I'll do it right now." I sighed, getting out my phone. Alex grinned at my decision, to which I only smiled a little. If I didn't do this the right way, I was about to lose Sam as a best friend. And I didn't want that to happen. The ringing echoed through my ears a few times before it stopped. I inhaled sharply, my hands starting to shake as I heard Sam greet me. "Hey, Sam."

"What's wrong?"

I smiled to myself. Even he could tell when I was sad. "We need to talk. Can we meet up somewhere?"

There was a long pause on the other line. I sighed, cringing a little. 'We need to talk.' Those are the four words that everyone in a relationship knows and dreads to hear. It never meant anything good was about to happen.

"We'll meet up at the park, okay? In ten minutes?" And the line was dead.

[jaseyrae]

"Sam, have I ever told you how special you are to me?"

He looked at me, his eyebrow arched. "No. I am?"

I nodded, smiling a little as we continued to walk down the little walking trail. "When I first met you, the first thing I thought was that you were...insanely hott." I blushed lightly, remembering that day at the party. "And don't get me wrong, you still are. When I talked to you, oh my gosh, I thought you were just the nicest guy I'd ever met." I sighed, flinching a little. "But..."

"But.... I know that word. That word means we're breaking up." He said, sadness in his voice. I noticed we stopped walking.

I only nodded. "Yeah. Sam, you're one of my best friends. I can practically tell you anything. But I only see you as a best friend rather than a boyfriend. Does that make sense?"

He nodded, looking down at me as he gave me a sad smile. "Makes perfect sense." He nodded, but smirked. "It's Gaskarth, isn't it?"

I took a small step back, completely shocked. How could he possibly know that? "How-"

"You haven't smiled like that since the party, Hayley." He said, smiling slightly. He took a step forward, putting his hand on my face. "I understand. It's cool, really. You guys look like you're made for each other."

I blushed slightly at the thought, knowing I had thought that countless times before. "Sam, you're amazing, you know that?" I leaned up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you."

"Go on, best friend. Go to him." He smirked, flicking his head towards Alex's house. I grinned, giving him a quick hug before running off to Alex's house. I don't think I've ever felt my feet run that fast, except when I'm on the field.

I jogged through Alex's house and up to his room where I was just a half and hour ago, and saw him on the bed, just messing around with his guitar. He looked up when I shut the door, a wide smile on his face, the left side going higher than the right. A smile I went weak at the knees for every single time and seemed to get butterflies in my stomach.

I leaned back on the doorframe, my stomach hurting a little from so much running, but a smile still present on my face. "Well, guess who's single now?"

He shrugged, getting up after setting his guitar on his bed. "I don't know. I heard that Hayley Johnson girl is single. But I'm probably way out of her league. She gorgeous, with black hair and green eyes, insanely thin and really short. She's pretty gifted in the upper area, and she knows how to dance. Think I have a chance with her?" He smirked, slowly walking over to me.

I smiled, the butterflies in my stomach turning into bats quickly as he put his hands on either side of my head on the wall, his lips getting closer to mine with every word. I merely shrugged. "I don't know. If you like that kind of girl, I guess. To me, she sounds more out of your league than anything."

"Psh. We're in the same league. She just doesn't know it. Maybe I'll skip her, go for my best friend instead." He smiled, his lips only an inch away from mine.

"Well, if you like that kind of relationship. I didn't know you loved Jack. But if you roll that way, I'm okay with it." I laughed breathily, my eyes looking into his deep brown ones.

He playfully glared, shaking his head. "Not Jack. My other best friend. The one I absolutely adore and can't get enough of." He whispered, slowly closing the gap between us.

This kiss was just like our first. It was sweet and slow, with plenty of fire behind it. My knees were going a little weak, and my mind seemed to think that my best friend and I were the only two people on the earth. His arms snaked around my waist pulling us closer quickly as mine wrapped around his neck.

He pulled away slightly, his lips moving to my ear. "I like you way better." I blushed, hugging him as tightly as I could, which didn't seemed to be any tighter than I was before.

What this boy does to me....

[jaseyrae]

"Jack, it was so amazing. I...I can't even explain it." I was in complete bliss, and I knew Jack could tell. I finally had Alex Gaskarth all to myself. I was finally able to kiss him, and hug him, and hold his hand, and just be in his arms whenever I wanted to. I was finally able to just...be his girlfriend.

"Jasey, I'm so happy for you, you have no idea." Jack grinned widely. "For you both. You don't know how long I've been waiting for this day." He smiled, chuckling a little. "Actually, everyone's been waiting for the day. It's about time."

I blushed a deep red, trying to his my face with my fire orange hair, knowing it wasn't working. "Yeah, yeah." I yawned, the sudden feeling of sleep overpowering me. "I'm going to bed, 'night Jack."

"'Night, Jasey Rae." He smiled, kissing my head before walking into his room.