Jasey Rae

I sighed, staring up at my ceiling as the constant loud beeping from my alarm clock echoed in my room. This is way too early to be up. Why would anyone in their right mind would get up this early to go to something so stupid as to school. Well, high school at least. Grade school is alright, because you get to color and do stuff like that. And I absolutely LOVE coloring, so yeah, grade school was okay. But high school just sucks.

Why am I doing this? Why am I lying to everyone here? Why can't I just tell everyone who I really am? Why can't I tell them the real reason I came here? That every word that comes out of my mouth, every move I make, is all just a lie?

"Jasey Rae! Get up or I'm coming up there to make you get up!"

I slammed my hand down on the snooze button, groaning at my mother who didn't seem to know how to be quiet. Reluctantly though, I got out of bed, making my way slowly over to the bathroom.

"Hey, kid." I ruffled my little brother's hair before sitting down at the table, resulting in him to lightly smack my hand away. He always hates when I do that, but I still do it anyways. Although, he was hardly a kid. He's thirteen. And he looks just like my dad did. Auburn hair, and chocolate eyes to match, olive skin just tanned a little. He was the spitting image of our father.

I got mother's looks, fortunately. Even though we absolutely hate each other, I can always say that she's one of the most beautiful persons I've ever seen. Her blonde hair was golden, natural brown highlights showing through, and her eyes were as deep blue as the ocean. Although, I died my hair. But that doesn't stop people from saying I look exactly liked her.

"Morning, Jasey." He mumbled, stifling a large yawn. His green eyes sparkled as they looked at me, a sadness to them. "I hate that wig on you. And those eyes. Why couldn't you keep your blue eyes?"

I sighed, cringing a little when I twirled the fake black hair around my finger nervously. "Jake, you know why I can't do that. I have to keep a disguise up so no one will notice me."

He sighed sadly, his eyebrows scrunched up in frustration. "I don't know why we had to come to this stupid state. I don't like it here. I miss my friends back home."

I sighed sadly, taking his hand. "Jake, I miss mine too. You think I don't miss the guys back home? They're my family. But you know why we came here. You remember what happened. Don't worry, everything will be okay. We'll be back before you know it."

"Miss-I mean, Jasey, it's time to leave."

I looked over, seeing Martin giving me a warm smile, which I returned gladly since he called me Jasey instead of Miss Wolff, which I was very grateful for. I nodded, kissing my brothers head before heading out with Martin to the car.

"I believe it's supposed to be cooler today. Well, cooler than yesterday at least." Martin said, turning down the radio so I could hear him.

I gave him a respective nod. "Is it? Good. Finally, some descent weather in this stupid state. I don't know why Mother chose this state in the first place." I scowled, remembering the day she told me that she had rented a house I'm Maryland, and we were going to be moving there shortly.

"Because no one looks for anyone in Maryland." He explained, even though he knew that I had been told that countless times before. I just couldn't wrap my mind around it for some reason. "Jasey, I know it's tough, and I know you miss your friends, but you must deal with this. Your mother is only looking out for you and doing what's best for you."

I scoffed, opening the car door and grabbing my book bag. I leaned in the window, my arms resting on the edge. "Please, she has never liked what I've done. She never has, and she never will. It reminds her too much of Dad."

Martin sighed, cutting the engine once he saw my saddened face, and came over to me. He pulled me into his arms, and I rested my head on his chest. "Jasey Rae, your mother loves you. I know you don't think so, but she really does. I've heard her say it. She's even said it to me a few times." He whispered in my ear, probably so no one around us would hear.

I couldn't help the tiny tears slowly falling down my cheeks, and the hiccup that made my body bounce for half a second. "But she never has time for me. Only Jake. And she never comes to a game. I don't think she ever has."

I heard Martin sigh, hugging me even tighter, feeling his breath on my head. "Jasey Rae, your mother is very busy. It may seem like she plays favorites, but trust me, she loves you just as much as she does Jake."

"Chicago?"

I pulled away, hearing a male voice that didn't belong to my chauffeur, and looked to see Jack standing about five feet away from Martin and me. He had a confused look on his face, but it turned to sadness once he saw the tears on my face. "Are you okay?"

I sniffled loudly, flinching a little when I wiped away the teas that bad fallen down my face. I tried to give him a good smile, but I knew I didn't give my most convincing, so I nodded instead. "Yeah, I'm great, Jack." I turned towards Martin and gave him a tight hug. "Thanks, Martin. I love you." I whispered, hugging a little tighter.

"I love you, too, Jasey Rae." He whispered back, and got in the car quickly. Then he was gone.

I kept my head down as I walked forward, stopping once I saw a pair of Nike Dunks in front of my beaten up Vans. "Morning, Jack."

A pair of fingers lifted my face, forcing me to look in Jack's deep brown eyes. His eyes searched my face for any type of clue of what could have gone wrong, but I knew he'd never figure it out. "Chicago, what's wrong?"

I sighed, grabbing his hand and squeezing his long fingers for a second. "N-Nothing. I-I'm o-okay."

He shook his head, his hair flopping a little, but he didn't exactly care at the moment. "No, you're not. You stutter when you lie. I can tell."

I smiled softly, laughing slightly. This boy has known me only a day, and he can already tell when I'm lying. "Jack Barakat, I'll be fine, I promise."

He nodded, not completely believing me, and we walked towards school. He put his arms around my shoulders as we got through the doors, asking if I had to go to my locker before class. I nodded, and we were off to my locker.

"I didn't do any of my homework." I admitted, blushing slightly when I was putting my books in my book bag.

He chuckled, leaning against the locker next to mine. "Well, depends on who you have as teachers."

I named my teachers, and he waved it off, telling me that the teachers don't care if it's due the next day or the one after that. It just has to be done by Friday at the latest. I thanked him for the information, and decided I'll just do it tonight.

He told me we had to go to his locker to meet up with Alex before class, so I reluctantly agreed, even though just the sound of Alex made my heart beat just a little faster.

Jack grabbed my hand, leading me towards his locker which was right next to homeroom. Alex was there, waiting at his best friend's locker, talking to some girl who was obviously flirting with him. And I couldn't help but notice my heart dropping just a little when I saw that he was flirting back. The girl was leaning against the lockers, and Alex had his arm next to her head, his face very close to the girl's.

"Hey, man." Jack nodded, eyeing the girl in front of his best friend, smirking slightly.

I guess I didn't blame them. The girl was beautiful. She had waist length bleach blond hair, and the bluest eyes ever, and her skin was flawless. She had an amazing body, curving at all the right places. And her smile was as bright as the sun. She was perfect.

I looked down at myself, grimacing. You could see my hipbones perfectly, and I didn't have curves at all. Although, my extended family always asks my mother how I could have possibly grown such a big chest. But I never believed them. My size ten shoes stuck out awkwardly, each foot pointing slightly away from each other. Everyone says I stick out my feet when I walk, resulting in me walking like a penguin. My hair was obviously fake, but it was such a good wig that no one noticed. And my blue eyes were covered up by fake brown contacts. I was ugly. Full of flaws. I don't even know why anyone would like me. I'm like the Ugly Duckling. Only, instead of becoming out beautiful, I only became uglier.

I found myself backing away from Jack, Alex, and the blonde slowly, hoping no one would notice me on the verge of tears, and turned around. I heard my name being called several times, but the bell echoing through the halls covered it up. It seems like when the bell rings, everyone has to talk louder to each other, and slam their lockers shut. Normally, I'm okay with loud noises, but today, everything just seemed too loud.

When I walked into homeroom, a few people were already there, gabbing away to each other about the latest gossip. And Mr. Black was there, sitting at his desk while grading a few papers.

I walked up to him, asking where my desk was, and he showed me on a little seating chart where the extra desk was put. It was on the complete opposite corner of Jack and Alex. But Mr. Black told me I could sit anywhere because he said it was only homeroom and he didn't care. But to me, that desk was in the perfect spot.

I sat down, flipping through my drawing pad about half way, finding the next clean page to sketch on. I tried to think of what I could draw; anything just to get my mind off of what happened only minutes before. But I couldn't stop the images of Alex so dangerously close to the blonde.

"Chicago? What's wrong?"

I merely shrugged, not wanting to look up at my two new friends. Because if I did, I knew I'd break down completely. I continued to draw the image of the blonde and Alex, noticing small water droplets on the page.

"Chicago, come on. You can tell us anything. We're you're friends."

I cringed, hearing Alex's pleas to get me to talk to him and his best friend, but I bit my tongue and stayed silent. I felt the desk in front of me shake a little as Alex sat down, and Jack sat in the one next to me. But I didn't look up, I just kept drawing. I sniffled, wiping my hand across my cheeks to get rid of the tears that had fallen. I kept mentally kicking myself for crying over such a stupid thing, but I couldn't help myself. And normally I never cry. About anything.

"Hayley, come on. Talk to us. Why are you crying?" Jack asked, his voice sad.

I bit my tongue again and closed my pad, looking up for the first time. I flinched when I saw Alex's eyes pleading for me to tell him why these stupid tears were falling out of the corners of my eyes. I stood up, looking back down again. Right now, my shoes were the most interesting thing. "Guys, please, I just want to be alone right now." And with that, I picked up my book bag and walked over to the opposite corner, sitting in a seat near the large window. And I just continued to draw my feelings away.

[jasey rae]

By the time lunch came around, I was feeling a little better. I avoided Jack first period, and I barely talked to Rian. I guess Jack told him I needed some space, which I was thankful for. But I ended up talking to Rian second period anyways, which made me feel better. He was a good person to cheer you up when you needed it.

I was absolutely freezing my butt off when it was lunchtime. I don't know why. It's not like I was catching a cold or anything. I was just...cold. Alex noticed when I sat down at lunch, seeing the goose bumps on my arms.

He started taking off his sweatshirt, handing it over to me. "Here, take this."

I shook my head. "No, I couldn't. I'll be fine." But he didn't take no for an answer, so I thanked him and slid the jacket on, the smell of his cologne filling my nose. I found myself smelling it even more, but thankfully the guys didn't notice.

"Eat." Jack ordered, giving me half a sandwich. I tried to give it back, but he practically shoved it in my mouth.

"Thanks." I mumbled, taking a small bite.

"How come you don't eat?" Jack asked, giving me a confused look.

"I eat. I actually eat a lot. I just don't eat when I'm nervous." I explained, shrugging. My eyes were glued to the sandwich I held.

"Why are you nervous? There's nothing to be nervous about." Rian smiled, which made me smile back.

I shrugged, shivering, even with Alex's jacket on. "New school jitters, I guess. I don't know. They'll die down in a few days."

"I hope. I want some meat on those bones." Jack chuckled, his eyes flicking towards my too-thin torso. "And fast. Jesus, you're making me sick with how thin you are."

I blushed, my eyes gazing at his stomach. "Oh, it's not like you're Mister Fatty over here either. I mean, damn, I'd say you were manorexic."

"Manorexic?" They repeated, their eyebrows rising in confusion.

"Man anorexic, duh." I said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I poked Jack's stomach, causing him to chuckle.

"Touché, love, touché." He smirked, draping an arm around my shoulders. I blushed a deep red, causing Rian, Jack, and Alex to all laugh. "So, I was thinking Chicago should come out and watch us play. Whatcha think?"

"Hell fucking yeah!" Rian shouted, high fiving with Alex. "That'd be awesome! Then she can meet Zack!"

"Oh, God help her when she meets that boy." Alex laughed, his eyes flicking up towards the ceiling for a second.

"Play?" I asked, looking up at Jack.

He looked down, sending me a large smile. "Yeah. We're in a band."

I nodded, giving him a smile back. "Yeah, sounds great. Just give me a time."

He shrugged, looking out at his friends for help on this one. "Is tonight good for you guys?"

They nodded, shrugging as they went back to their lunches. Jack looked back down at me. "Today, after school. Three-thirty. Can you make it?"

I internally cringed, thinking about my daily workout I was supposed to keep up until I leave. It's a must or I'm out. I bit my lip, giving him an apologetic smile. "No, I can't, actually. I have a...previous engagement. Can I come around say, four-thirty?"

He raised his eyebrow, thinking about it for a minute before nodding. "Yeah, sounds good. We should still be going then."

I smiled, nodding. "Great. See you there."

[jasey rae]

"So, Chicago." Alex said, throwing an arm around my shoulders. I couldn't help but melt into his side. But I started to feel uncomfortable a little, seeing people start to notice. "I was wondering...you wanna go out on a date tomorrow night?"

My heart soared, my stomach getting butterflies. I bit my lip, trying to get that feeling away, but I wasn't having much luck. My heart was screaming yes, but my mind was screaming no. They were battling it out, the two of them. My heart kept showing images of Alex's sweet smile, and his adorable laugh, but my mind kept showing me the same image of this morning, when he was flirting with the beautiful blonde. I cringed, getting out of Alex's grip. "Don't you have some blonde to be flirting with?" I asked harshly, shocking him a little. Jesus, I've only known him for a day and I'm already acting as if I'm in love with him.

He flinched a little, shocked at my outburst, and raised his eyebrows. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Just how it sounds." I groaned, sitting down at my desk. Alex took the one in front of me, his body turned sideways so he could look at me. "Besides, I don't date guys like you."

"And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" He snapped, causing me to scrunch up my eyebrows in frustration.

I sighed, running a hand through my fake hair, looking down. "Nothing. It doesn't mean anything." I mumbled. "Just forget I even said all this."

"Blonde? What blonde are you talking about?" He asked, finally catching up on what I had said two minutes ago. Then his eyes widened, shaking his head. "Oh shit, Chicago, you mean Whitney? The girl this morning?" I only stayed silent. "Fuck, Chicago, she's nothing. I swear. She's just someone to talk to."

"It didn't look like you were only talking." I muttered, getting my notebook out to act like I was taking notes.

He sighed, flipping his hair to the left. It made me laugh a little, but he didn't notice. "Chicago, I promise you. It was just harmless flirting. I wouldn't even call it flirting. It was just talking."

I shrugged, shaking my head. "It's fine if you like her. I mean, she is really beautiful."

"But-"

"Mister Gaskarth! Turn around before I move you to another seat!" The teacher yelled, making Alex sigh and reluctantly face forward.

[jasey rae]

"I'll see you at four-thirty, kay, Chicago? Give me your number so I can give you directions to Alex's house." Jack said, already taking out his cell phone. "Or we can just pick you up or something."

I smiled, putting in my number quickly before giving it back to him. "That's okay. I can drive myself. Just text me the address or call me. I'll try to get there as soon as I can."

He nodded, giving me a tight hug before pulling back, leaning his arm on his best friend. "Okay, will do."

"I'll see you guys later. Bye." I smiled, giving them a final wave before turning around and leaving.

[jasey rae]

I wiped the sweat off my forehead as jogged inside my house. I locked my hands behind my head, trying to steady my heavy breathing. Running five miles really sucks sometimes. I stretched out, trying to cool down and not cramp up, then walked up to my room. I desperately needed a shower.

I sighed, running a hand through my wig as I hopped downstairs. "Hey, Martin? Do you know where Sandress Drive is?"

Martin was in the room instantly, giving me a confused look. "Yes, I do. Why do you ask?"

I let out a long breath, my heart beating quickly still from my run. "Because that's where my friend lives and I'm going over to his house."

"His?" He smirked, raising his eyebrows. "A boyfriend, perhaps?"

I laughed lightly, shaking my head quickly. "No, not at all. Actually, there's going to be four guys there. I'm going to watch their band practice."

His face turned stern, making me cringe a little. "Now, Jasey-"

"Don't you give me that speech, Martin." I glared, grabbing a pair of car keys to a random car, causing him to sigh.

"Jasey, you know very well that you're mother would never approve of some guy from a band-"

"But he's not just some guy!" I tried to reason, kicking myself when I realized what I just said.

"Oh, so there is a boy." He smirked, knowing he got it out of me.

"Hey, what's going on?" I heard Jake ask as he came down the stairs confused.

I groaned, throwing up my arms in frustration. "I'm going out! Don't wait up!" I yelled, walking into the garage.

[jasey rae]

I got out of the car, which happened to be the Mustang Martin picked me up in only yesterday. I heard the loud music of guitars and drums, slightly hearing the sound of an amazing singing voice from the garage that was in front of me. The house was gorgeous, and insanely big. Yup, this is the house...I think.

I bit my lip, looking at the address on the slip of paper I had brought, then looked at the numbers. "Yep, this is the house." I shut the door, walking up to the garage, walking along the left side up to the side door where Jack had told me to go. I bit my lip, knocking on the door loudly so I could be heard over the music. The music died down, silence quickly taken over, and the door was suddenly open, revealing a grinning Jack Barakat.

"CHICAGO!" He grinned, throwing his arms around me, causing me to laugh. "Fuck, you came!" I immediately put my arms around his neck as he spun me around so I wouldn't fall down.

"Hey, Jack! Of course I came!" I giggled as he put me down. "What, you thought I wouldn't come? Jesus, no fucking faith in me." I said, shaking my head as I passed him.

"Chicago!" Rian grinned, giving me a tight hug.

I laughed. "Rian!" I pulled away, returning his large smile and laughed. I looked over and saw Alex standing there, the same smug smirk dancing on his lips as he looked at me. He had a deep blue electric guitar strapped around him. I gladly returned the smirk. "What, no hug from you? Asshole."

He let out a laugh, setting his guitar down, and ran over to me, throwing his arms around me, then spinning me around. "I fuckin' missed ya, Chicago!" He yelled, causing me to laugh and hug tighter.

"I missed ya too, Maryland!" I laughed, then told him to put me down, which he did. I turned around, and he automatically put an arm around my shoulders. I ignored my heart soaring and my stomach twisting and just melted into his side.

"So, Chicago, this is Zack." Jack said, punching a blonde guy. I laughed, looking over at the other guy. He was tall, muscular, and insanely hott. I laughed, sticking my hand out. "Nice to meet you, Zack."

He shook my hand, squeezing it a little as his eyes trailed up and down at me for a second, then smiled. "You too. I've hear a lot about you from Alex. This kid won't fucking stop talking about you. He didn't do you justice when he said you were incredibly hott."

I immediately blushed crimson as Alex shouted some vulgar words at his friend for saying such a thing like that, but the smile and blush wouldn't wipe off his face as he did so.

Alex turned to me, trying to hide his blush. "Come on, Chicago. Let's get something to drink."

Zack and Rian hooted while Jack whistled, causing me to blush and Alex to shout some more choice words at his friends as he grabbed my hand and led me upstairs.

"I'm sorry about that back there. They can be such douches sometimes." Alex said, giving me an apologetic smile as he got out a can of pop from the refrigerator. He asked what I wanted and I just told him water, so he handed me a bottled water.

I waved it off, telling him it was nothing. "Trust me, you haven't met my friend Jordan. That guy is the biggest douche you'll ever meet."

"Jordan?" He smirked, raising his eyebrows. His face fell for a second before he hid it. "Is that your boyfriend?"

I shook my head quickly, laughing a little which resulted in Alex being confused. "No way! I'd never go out with him! We're just friends. I've known him since seventh grade."

He nodded, giving me a shrug. "How am I supposed to know that? He could be your lover for all I know."

I laughed, taking a sip from my water. "Trust me, I'd never go out with such a tool like that."

"Oh, so what kind of guys do you go out with?"

I bit my lip, lifting myself up on the counter after I asked Alex if it was okay, and shrugged. "I don't know. I just hate jerks, you know? I'd never go out with a guy who is just a complete asshole to everyone. And he has to get along with my friends and little brother."

"What about your parents? Don't they have to like him?"

I scoffed, laughing with no humor as I shook my head. "My dad fucking left me when I was thirteen, and my mother I could fucking care less about. She's such a bitch to me."

He raised his eyebrows, staring at me in confusion. I sighed, tracing my finger on the little hole on top of the water bottle. I knew this had to be explained some day. I just didn't think it'd be so quick. "My...my dad left because of me...."

"Chicago, I doubt you were the reason-"

"No, trust me, I was." I said, laughing again with no humor. "My mother told me countless times. And I even heard my dad say it when they were fighting. 'She's not like other girls, Angela! I am not having a daughter who is so stupid! God dammit! I'm leaving!' he used to say. I flinched, remembering the day my dad decided he was leaving.

We always used to get into fights. I'd have him help me with my homework, and I was never able to completely understand or comprehend anything like he used to. He was always so smart. But I just...never caught on with stuff from school. I'm stupid school wise, but I'm a fucking genius when it comes to street smarts." I felt a thin layer of moisture start to form on my eyes.

"I mean, I know I'm not the smartest person out there, but Jesus fucking Christ, he didn't have to call me stupid or special-ed. He always hated me. I wasn't a perfect daughter, like he wanted. He always wanted a perfect family, and because of me, he was never able to have one." I slowly wiped away the tears that had silently fallen down my cheeks, laughing slightly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be doing this."

"No, you're perfectly okay." I heard him say quietly, and watched him as he walked up to me. He used his thumbs to wipe away the stray tears and took my face in his hands. "Chicago, you listen to me: no one is perfect, okay?" I only nodded. "Okay, this may sound so totally cliché and cheesy, but you may not seem perfect to the world, but to one person, you are perfect in their eyes."

I gave Alex a large smile, wrapping my arms around his neck and squeezing tightly. "Thanks, Maryland. You're amazing."

After I had hopped down from the counter, Alex grabbed my hand again and led me back to the garage, where we got hoots and howls from the boys, mainly Jack. Alex smacked his best friend, then told me to go sit on the couch in from of them so they could play me a song.

[jasey rae]

Alex has an amazing voice, you have no idea. Jack is just incredible on the guitar, as well as Alex, and Zack on bass. And don't even get me started on how phenomenal Rian is on the drums.

They periodically asked me for any requests, which I shouted out some of my favorite Blink 182 songs, which they happily performed for me. Alex took me up on "stage" sometimes, and we both danced together, just goofing around. And I danced around with Jack and Zack a few times too. All in all, it was really an amazing day.

After their band practice ended an hour or so later, I helped back everything up, and we all went to go hang out in Alex's room for awhile before we all left.

Alex and I were currently lying on his bed, staring up at his poster covered ceiling, his arm around me, as Jack watched Zack and Rian battle it out in some video game. "I am so fucking tired." He yawned, rubbing his face with his free hand.

I laughed lightly, leaning my head on the side of his chest. "Then go to sleep. I should get going anyways."

"No!" He nearly shouted, causing me to laugh as I looked up at him.

"I have to leave eventually, you know." I giggled, his arm tightening around me.

"No you don't. You can just stay here forever, with me." He grinned, wiggling his eyebrows, causing me to laugh even more.

My phone started ringing, and I groaned once I saw who was calling me. "Hello?"

"Jasey Rae, I need you home to watch your little brother." I heard my mother order, causing me to internally groan.

"Can't Martin or George or Nina do it?" I asked, sitting up.

"No, I gave them the night off. Home, now." And the line was dead.

I sighed, hitting the 'end' button on my phone and stood up, stretching my hands above my head. "I gotta head out."

Suddenly, the sounds from the video game stopped, and I heard someone shout out a 'Why?!'

I tried to give them my best smile, but we all know I didn't do too well. "I gotta get home to watch my little brother."

After many goodbyes and pleas for me to stay with Jack, Zack, and Rian, Alex offered to walk me to my car, which I thankfully agreed to.

"Wow, Chicago, nice ride."

I laughed lightly, watching as the headlights of my car lit up as I unlocked the doors. "Thanks. It's not much though. But it's got a lot of power, which is the main reason I got it."

He nodded, giving me an approving nod. "Understandable."

I leaned up against my car, giving Alex a large smile. "Thanks for tonight. I had a lot of fun."

He reflected my smile, nodding. "Yeah, me too. You should come by again sometime."

"I'd like that." I smiled softly. We stood there for a few minutes in silence. But it wasn't an awkward silence, it was a comfortable silence. I looked at him, my eyes searching his face for a minute, just remembering every detail of it. Wondering how anything could be so perfect looking.

"Well, I should go. My mom is waiting." I said, breaking the silence. He nodded, then wrapped his arms around me, and I did the same to him. He pulled back slightly, his lips against my ear, causing my heart to pound.

"Bye, Chicago." He whispered before his lips connected to my cheek, resulting in me almost having a heart attack.

"Bye, Maryland." I said quietly, my cheeks on fire, and got in my car. I started it up, revving up the engine a little before giving a final wave to Alex before pulling out and driving home.

Wow.