Jasey Rae

Alex Gaskarth deserves to know everything. He has a right to. He's become a better best friend in the last month than my other friends have in the past year. He treats me well, and he definitely knows how to make me laugh. And he may be cocky and arrogant at some times, but even the most down to earth people stumble some time in life.

But it's just too damn risky for him to know. What with the way him and the guys were talking about me yesterday, they could spill the beans at any time. I doubt he would tell anyone, and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't, but I know he'd be furious at me and never speak to me again. And I didn't want that at all. Alex is too special for me to lose.

I know I shouldn't get so attached, since I'm leaving in four and a half months. And if all goes well, they'd never even know my secret. But I'd have to tell me. They deserve to know that I'm completely lying through my teeth to them the whole time. And I can't just leave them. They'd know something was up if I suddenly disappeared one day and never came back, and Jasey Rae Scott would just magically appear back on the face of the earth.

Mom would disown me if I told any one my secret. Especially if it was Alex. But it would also put her in danger of being told she's a 'terrible mother' if she let her child lie to everyone like that. And she despises Alex and the boys. Judy because they're in a band doesn't mean they're bad people. I mean, sure, they party a lot, and Alex and Jack have had sex with more girls than they can count on their fingers, but it doesn't mean they're terrible people like she says. But I don't really give a fuck what she thinks.

The only opinion I care about most is Jake's. His opinion means everything to me. If he doesn't like the guy I'm with, then I dump the guy. It's as simple as that. And the same goes vise versa. He doesn't care about Mother's opinions at all. No one does really. But the bond between my brother and me is very special.

Ever since Dad left three years ago, nothing was the same. I'd say everything turned out okay, but then I'd be lying. And I don't really want to lie about another thing. But, anyways, I guess it turned out for the better more than the worse. I now don't have to strive to make him just the least bit proud. And I don't get yelled at every day any more. And I don't hear Mother and him fighting every night either, which I thought was one of the best things that came out of this divorce because now no one is fighting about me and how I'm stupid.

But with every rise comes a fall. Mother was a little shaken up by the divorce for a while, but I could tell she didn't have much of a burden on her shoulders any more. But ever since, I've been yelled at constantly for it that it was my fault he left, and that I ruined her marriage. Which only half of that it true. Yeah, I take most of the responsibility that Dad left, but some of it was Mom's fault too. And she had already ruined her marriage by exchanging some pretty mean things with Dad a while back.

Jake still thinks it's his fault. He thinks he did something wrong when he was hanging out with Dad one day and that it got Dad angry and he left. And almost everyday I tell him it was all my fault. But he never believes me. Even though everyone else does.

It's Sunday today, two weeks from my birthday. The birthday I turn seventeen finally. Which I absolutely despise my birthdays usually, because it means getting older, but this time I can't wait until I'm eighteen. Because the second I become eighteen, I'm out the door and on to my own apartment, and no longer dealing with Mother anymore.

Next year, I thought, next year....

"Jasey Rae!"

I sat up, resting on my elbows. "Yeah, Jake?"

He appeared from behind my door, leaning on the white doorframe, a worried look on his young face. "There are two guys downstairs for you."

I nodded, starting to get up to get changed really fast so I wouldn't look terrible in front of the guys. It has to be Alex and Jack. Jake walked in and closed the door, turning around quickly once I took my shirt off.

"Those are the guys in the bad, right?"

I sighed, forgetting that he couldn't see my nods. "Yeah, they are. They're really good guys, Jake. You'll like them a lot."

"Will...will they like me?"

I pulled up my shorts, walking over to him and turning him around. Placing my hands on his shoulders, I looked him straight in the eyes. "Jake, they'll love you. What's not to love?" He only shrugged, looking at his sock covered feet.

Jake has a lot of...issues being judged by people. He's very self-conscious. He always has been, but ever since dad left, it pushed it over the edge. He's always worrying that people will judge him and never like him, causing him to be incredibly shy.

I smiled slightly, squeezing his shoulders a little before letting go. "Come downstairs with me. Meet them. You'll love them."

He only shrugged again, mumbling something about how he has to go back to his room, but I didn't listen to him. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and tugged him downstairs with me. He tried to go into his room, but I just held tighter and pulled him down.

The boys were in the front room, sitting on the couch as Nina was giving them some of her freshly baked cookies.

"Jasey, don't make me do this." Jake whispered, trying to back upstairs, but I pushed him forward with me.

"You'll be fine. There's nothing to be nervous about. Remember: they think my name is Hayley Johnson." I whispered before going in the living room. I cleared my throat, catching the attention of Alex and Jack. They looked over, smiling once they saw me. Their eyes landed on my brother beside me, their faces turning confused, but smiles still present. "Jack, Alex, I want you to meet my brother Jake. Jake, I want you to meet my friends Alex and Jack."

Jake gave a small wave to them, his nerves kicking in once Alex and Jack stood up.

"What's up, man?" Jack grinned his goofy grin, leaning on his best friend.

"We've heard a lot about you." Alex smiled, causing Jake to look up at me confused.

"I tend to talk about our...adventures back home. Like the one two Christmases ago when we slept on the roof." I smirked, causing him to smile back.

"Your sister tells us you're pretty good at guitar too." Jack said, raising his eyebrows.

Jake smiled, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. A trait no doubt running through the family. "U-Uh, not really. Ja-Hayley tends to say I'm better than I actually am."

I scoffed, messing up his hair. "Please, I only say the truth about you. You're insanely awesome, Jay."

He fixed his hair, causing me to laugh lightly. Boys and their hair….

"Wanna show us if she's telling the truth or not?" Alex asked, raising his eyebrows. "Although, I doubt you're better than us."

I smirked, looking down at my brother. "Uh oh, I think I hear a challenge coming on. Does Jake accept?"

Jake smiled, a twinkle in his green eyes. "I accept."

[jasey rae]

"Okay, Chicago, who was the best?"

I bit my lip, looking at all three back and forth to decide who was the best at playing guitar in the competition.

Although Jack and Alex were incredibly amazing, Jake put up an equal fight, surprising the boys and even me.

"Uh...." I said, knowing I couldn't make up my mind. Each boy was giving me a pleading look, telling me he did the best. I tried not to look at Alex as much, because I knew if I looked at his puppy dog face, I'd crack and scream out that he was the best.

"J-Jake! Jake was the best!" I blurted, hearing the groans and moans of my two best friends.

"Fuck, if I got a thirteen year old beating me, I really need to step it up." Jack mumbled, causing me to laugh.

Alex and Jack told my brother he did an amazing job and that if he kept going, he'd make it big, which Jake was more than happy about.

I couldn't help but be so happy that Alex and Jack loved my brother, and that Jake loved them too.

"Well, I'm off. I'm gonna go over to Danny's and hang out there for a while." Jake said before giving me a hug and saying goodbye to the boys and me before disappearing.

"He's really great, you know that?" Alex said, and I smiled at the door.

"Yeah, he is. He really likes you guys." I said, looking over at them. "Which is rare. He doesn't usually like the guys I know."

"Well, I guess we're just lucky." Alex smiled, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I melted into his side and I knew Jack noticed.

"Well, are you ready to go out?" Jack asked, raising his eyebrows at me, looking at my outfit. I looked down myself, sticking my tongue out at my shirt. It didn't match at all.

I stepped forward, shaking my head at Jack. "Let me just change my shirt." I took my shirt off, revealing my camisole, throwing the shirt on my bed. I looked at the boys, blushing lightly as I noticed their jaws dropped slightly, their eyes glued to my chest. "Eyes up here, guys." I said, pointing to my eyes.

They looked up; their cheeks turning slightly pink as they mumbled an apology.

"Okay, help me pick out a shirt." I said, opening the door to my walk-in closet.

"I say you go just like that." Jack said, coming up right behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, causing me to blush. "Or you can just go naked. Your choice."

I laughed lightly, grabbing his hands and removing his arms from around my waist so I could search through my shirts. "Just help me, okay? And get Lexi in here so he can help too."

"Lexi?"

"It's her ridiculous nickname for me." Alex sighed, pawing through the shirts with me, causing Jack to laugh.

"What about this one?" Jack asked, pulling off an off the shoulder sweater.

"Too hot." I said, shaking my head.

"Naked." Jack mumbled, smirking his infamous smirk.

I laughed lightly. "One day, Jack, one day."

"I'm prayin' for that day to come soon, baby."

"What about this one?" Alex asked, holding up a Paramore band tee.

I smiled, taking it from him and putting it on. I gave him a kiss on the cheek, causing us to both blush. "Thanks, Lexi."

[jasey rae]

"You guys suck." I laughed, shoving Jack's shoulder. "You don't know good art if it hit you in the face."

"Are you fucking kidding me? This is the stupidest painting I've ever seen. It's a fucking circle!" Jack's laugh echoed through the silent rooms, causing the few people around us to look at us in disgust.

"Sh!" I smirked, putting my finger up to my lips, then brought it down. "You're gonna get us kicked out."

"You know, if I remember correctly, you're quite the artist yourself, Chicago." Jack said, his arm around my shoulders as we walked into the next room. "You're fucking amazing."

I scoffed. "Try telling that to my mom." I cringed a little when the memories of a terrible night flooded my mind. I tried to block it out, but it was too strong.

--
"But, Mom! I'm really good!" I pleaded, a thin layer of salty water forming on my eyes. She just wasn't going to give up.

"No, Jasey Rae! You are not going to be an artist! Do you know how many people actually make it to the big times?" She yelled back, her face red with anger.

"Compared to teenagers making it to the pros?" I yelled back, causing her to flinch that I actually yelled back at her.

"Jasey Rae Scott, you have a career! You are sticking with it!"

"But you hate what I do!" The tears were falling now, as much as I didn't want them too. Crying was showing weakness, according to my mother. If you cried in front of her, you were considered too weak.

"Stop being such a selfish brat!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, shocking even me that she could get that loud. I stepped back, falling on the couch behind me. "Yes! I absolutely hate what you do! It reminds me too much of your son of a bitch father!"

I flinched, the mentioning of my father was still raw to me, and it slapped me hard.

"Yeah, you remember your stupid father! The one who left because of you! You stupid, stupid girl! If you weren't so dumb in school, I'd still have a husband and you and Jacob would sill have a fucking father!" She screamed, and I could tell that she herself was on the verge of crying. "But no! You have to be so goddamn stupid, that he left! He left because of you! So stop being selfish, Jasey Rae! You will keep doing what you're doing, because it pays the bills, and this has been something you've always wanted to do! Now stop whining, you brat! And get out of my face!"
---

"Chicago! Hayley!"

"Hm?" I said, looking over to see a confused Jack and Alex. "Sorry, I was just thinking." I mumbled, walking over to a painting in the corner. I sighed, staring intently at it, my stomach dropping at the sight of it.

It was a gorgeous painting. More modern, but still really amazing. But it made my stomach drop. It was of a woman and a little girl. They were smiling, laughing I presume, and holding hands. And they looked a lot alike. I'd say the little girl was just a younger version of the woman. And the little girl had a sundress on, a white one with light pink flowers on it and spaghetti straps. Her red hair was curly and came up to her chin, looking as if they bounced every step she took. And the woman had on a beautiful dress herself. It was baby blue and had white flowers on it with a large white bow in the front. Her bright red hair was in loose curls, hanging past her shoulders, a sunflower on the side by her left ear.

It looked like my mother and I.....

"Chicago!"

I flinched, the shouting in my ear sounded as loud as an air horn since I was so lost in thought. "What?"

"What's wrong?" Alex asked, his face just as worried looking as Jack's.

"N-Nothing. Just thinking is all...." I mumbled, scratching the back of my neck nervously. Getting questioned in the middle of the art museum wasn't exactly what I wanted to do. "Come on, let's get out of here. I want to do something exciting."

"You're telling me this isn't fun?" Jack asked, pointing at a sculpture of some thing I couldn't exactly extinguish.

Alex and I laughed, shaking our heads. "No. Not at all."

"Well, I'm offended. I thought you wanted to see beautiful art." Jack said, crossing his arms and stomping his foot. "That's it! Since you don't appreciate good art, I'm leaving!" He shouted, causing everyone around us to look at us in distaste that we were yelling at such a quiet environment. "That's right! Nothing to look at over here, bitch! Go back to looking at that picture!" He yelled dramatically at a woman nearby. Her eyes went wide with shock.

"Sir! Please, keep your voice down!"

I looked over to see a large man in a security outfit, scolding Jack. I swallowed a laugh.

"Yes, sir!" Jack said, saluting the man and running out, causing the security guy go look at him angrily. He then looked at Alex and I, causing me to take a step behind Alex. "Are you two with that man?"

Alex choked on a laugh. "Nope, I don't associate with those type of people."

I laughed, pushing Alex a little. "We'll be leaving now, if you don't mind, sir. Thank you so much for your time."

"Hey, wait a minute. Has anyone ever told you that you look a lot like Jasey Scott?"

I swallowed, going wide eyed, then nodded. "Yes, sir, I do a lot. Bye." I pushed Alex in the direction that Jack went and we walked out, practically running.

[jasey rae]

"Let's go skydiving." I said, poking Jack in his stomach. He grabbed my hand, grunting a little.

"Let's not. I'd fucking die." Alex chuckled, trying to balance as he walked along the bricks that were raised to protect the building's garden we were walking by. He almost fell off twice.

I laughed, holding his hand so he wouldn't fall anymore. "Well let's do something exciting. I'm bored as fuck right now. Where's Rian and Zack?"

"Zack is out for a doctor's appointment, and Rian is hanging out with his girlfriend." Jack answered, holding my hand just because.

"Girlfriend?" I asked. I didn't know he had a girlfriend.

"Yeah, her name is Kara. She's cool. We like her. And Rian seems to like her a lot. So it's whatever." Alex explained, hopping down and practically jumping on top of me. He chuckled, wrapping his arms around me so he could balance us and not make us fall over. "Sorry. Didn't mean to jump on you."

"It's fine." I blushed, the feeling of his arms around me comforting and warm.Like I belonged there.

"God, when the fuck will you two just go out. Jesus fucking Christ, you've been flirting like hell lately." Jack groaned, causing Alex and I to turn as red as tomatoes.

We made up excuses on why we couldn't go out, saying that we didn't like each other and whatever came to our minds at the time. Even though I knew I was lying through my teeth.

"I'm so bored. There's nothing to do tonight!" I groaned, hoping I'd change the subject quickly. Thankfully, it did.

Alex and Jack started talking about what they could do tonight, thinking about just drinking or whatever. Jack was thinking of hooking up with a girl or something, but I wasn't really listening.

"Hey, I hear Sam Foster is having a party tonight. Anyone can go." Alex said, causing Jack to grin.

"Awesome, I'm in." Jack nodded, then looked at me. "Chicago, you in?"

I shook my head, making a face. "Nah, I don't have anything to wear tonight."

Alex groaned. "That's all that's holding you back? Fuck, I'm taking you shopping."

[jasey rae]

"Lexi! This is ridiculous!" I laughed as he pulled me into a little store with no one in it. "There's no one here!"

"That's because no one knows where to shop at the right places." Jack said, pawing through a rack of shirts as Alex went over to go find me some pants.

I sighed, smiling, then walked over to the shoes. I grinned, picking up a pair of a high top Converse, only to be smacked in the hand by someone. "Hey!" I looked over to see Alex picking out a pair of pants. "Lexi! That wasn't nice!"

He answered me with a shrug. "Those won't match with what I'm going to give you. Jack! Whatcha got for me?"

Jack held up two shirts, which both were really cute. I was pretty surprised Jack would pick them out. "I'm stuck between these two."

Alex looked at them, pursing his lips as his eyes went back and forth. "Hm, me too."

"This one-" He said, holding up the yellow tank top with the store's design on it. "-will show more of her stomach off. This one-" He helped up a black three-quarter sleeved shirt with thin gray stripes. "-will accentuate her chest." His eyes flicked towards my chest, causing me to blush crimson. "Which is a pretty damn good thing."

Alex's eyes flicked between the shirts, then to the jeans in his hands. "The black one. It'll go with the jeans better."

Jack nodded, throwing me the shirt, and Alex shoved the pairs of jeans in my hands as well.

"Go try this on. I couldn't tell if you were a double zero or a zero, so I just took both." Alex explained, pushing me into the dressing room.

I groaned, trying to run out, but he stopped me. "But, Lexi! I hate trying stuff on! Can't we just buy this and go home?"

"No! I have to see if this works or not, which I'm pretty sure t will, but you never know."

I sighed, already starting to feel uncomfortable and locked the door behind me. I've always hated trying stuff on and showing people. I always look terrible in the stuff I try on and I never buy it then. I can never pull off tank tops and stuff, so my typical outfit is usually band tees and jeans. And that's it.

"Chicago! Come on out! Please?"

I sighed, standing in front of the mirror, just staring at myself. I pulled my pants down a little further, trying to get them to look right, then my shirt looked stupid so I fixed that, but it ended up all looking stupid. I guess I looked good. Jack was right, the shirt made my chest look a little bigger, and the jeans looked pretty good. It's been ten minutes since I got in the dressing room, and I still haven't come out. Something about Alex and Jack seeing what I looked like always made me nervous. I always had to look good in front of them, or I figured they wouldn't like me.

"Chicago, what's wrong? Why won't you come out?"

I sighed, hearing the confusion in Jack's voice. "I look terrible."

"I doubt that. Now come on out. We wanna see."

"No."

"Fine, I'm coming in. Al, I'll be right back."

"But the door's locked...."

But it was too late. I looked in the mirror, seeing Jack climbing through the bottom of the door and standing up. It caused me to jump from shock.

He grabbed my hand and turned me around. I just looked at my feet, feeling even more uncomfortable.

"Alex! Go get shorts! These jeans don't work." Jack said, and Alex obeyed. Jack sighed. "Chicago, you look beautiful."

I looked up, locking eyes with Jack's dark brown ones. "Really?"

He nodded, his hair falling in front of his face. "I wouldn't lie to you, Chicago. You look beautiful. Why didn't you want to show us?"

I bit my lip, my eyes locking with the ground as I raised my shoulders. "I don't know. I guess...I don't know. I always have to look good in front of you, or you won't like me...."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, Chicago."

I looked up, a confused look covering my face.

Jack sighed. "Chicago, what do you think the reason we asked you to stick around with us for so long?" I only shrugged. "Fuck, Chicago, you're the best fucking girl I've ever met. You're hilarious, and you can take a joke. You never are mean to anyone, and I don't think I've ever heard you offend someone. You're pretty. And you don't care if we make so many inappropriate jokes, cause you go and make them with us. You're amazing, just the way you are."

I looked at Jack, the smile on my face as big as the Cheshire Cat's from Alice in Wonderland. "Jack, have I ever told you you're incredible?"

He shrugged, his smile matching mine. "I've heard it once or twice."

"I love you, Jack Barakat."

"I love you, too, Hayley Johnson."

I wrapped my arms around his torso, and he returned the gesture immediately and twirled me a around, giving me a kiss on my ear.

"Here ya go. I wanna see this time." Alex said, throwing the shorts over the top, landing on Jack's head.

I laughed, watching Jack take them off his head and handing them to me. "I'll be out in a minute."

[jasey rae]

I bit my lip, my hands shaking as I tried to put my eyeliner on. I don't know why I was so nervous. I love to party. I used to do it all the time back at home. But something about tonight made me nervous. Like something big was going to happen tonight.

"Chicago, you ready?"

I nodded, putting my eyeliner away and hooking my dog tag around my neck before grabbing my phone. "I-I gu-guess."

"Don't be nervous. It won't be that bad. You'll know a lot of people there. And I'll be there right by your side the whole time."