25 To Life

~*1 Month Later*~

It’s been one month since I asked dad that stupid question, see I knew something bad was going to come from it. The back lounge was officially the place I slept at night or didn’t sleep at night. I didn’t get much sleep or I barley ate but I forced myself to eat something because I still had a child growing inside me.

Dad hasn’t spoken to me directly he sends one of the guys to tell me. I was now sitting in the back lounge where I usually am as the guys perform; I don’t watch them anymore, just sit here and cry. I know they can hear me but they don’t come back here. I wish they did.

I wish they would see how I was doing all the time and not just talk to me through the door. I never locked it; it was or is always unlocked even when I’m changing. I haven’t seen Andy lately that’s a good thing; you never know what he was going to do.

I was still in the night shorts and one of Tom’s shirts from three nights ago. I took out my dreads because the needed to be re-braided again, I just haven’t gotten around to do it yet.
I let more tears slip down my cheeks as I dug through my suit case.

Once I found it I pulled out the dried bloody cloth wrapped around all my cutting utensils. I picked up the box cutter blade and made three deep cuts on my upper arm.

I quickly wrapped my objects and shoved the cloth back in my suit case. I crawled over to the couch and hoisted myself on to the edge just as the door to the bus opened.

I walked into the kitchen to make myself something to eat. I know they all went to eat without me because their set got done an hour ago, and they always get something to eat after a show. I haven’t eaten in a week so the baby was kicking my ass for it. I’m talking about constant kicking.

I finished making the PB&J sandwich and practically shoved the thing in my mouth. I looked at them then walked back into the back lounge, but I didn’t shut the door. I sat at the edge of the couch and then dropped to the floor in a sobbing mess.

The side of my face was mashed into the dirty floor trying so hard to curl into a ball. I didn’t hear anyone walk in here but I felt a forehead on the side of my face that wasn’t on the ground. I knew it was dad because he was the only one that smelt like he did Axe, mint, and weed.

He pulled me into his arms and we cried together, you couldn’t hear him crying because I was so loud. An hour or so later I was clinging to his shirt still crying but he was inspecting my arm.

“Why did yeh cu’ again?” I looked up at him.

“I was depressed, ar’ yeh mad a’ me?” I looked at him with tired eyes I haven’t slept in so long I most likely had dark black bags under my eyes.

“No ‘m no’ mad a’ yeh, yeh can’ do this aneh mo’ weh ‘ave a unborn son teh fink ‘bou’. I kno’ I ‘aven’ been a vereh good fiancé wiff no’ talkin’ teh yeh a’ all this monf, I kno’ this is a lo’ fo’ yeh teh take in a’ six’een. Bu’ meh an’yeh ar’ goin’ teh ge’ frough I’, togeva.” He said. Then he picked me up and sat me on the couch.

“Whea is I’?” I looked at him totally lost. “The fing yeh cut yerself wiff, whea is I’?”

“I’s me sui’ case in the lef’ pocke’.” I said then looked down. I heard him digging in my suit case then he pulled out my bloody cloth. I heard him sigh before he walked out and I faintly heard ‘get rid of that’ before he came back and sat at my suit case again.

I watched as he picked out a nice dress it was tight around my breasts but then it was lose everywhere else. I couldn’t use a bra since he picked a strapless dress and of course he picked a lace thong and heels? What is he doing dressing in drag?

“Wha’ yeh doing?” I asked as he picked up two towels and dragged me to the small bathroom. He turned on the water to the shower and stuck his hand in then adjusted the temperature and started to get undressed.

“So ‘m going teh stand ‘ere while yeh take a showa?” I asked slightly confused. He laughed and then bent down and pulled off my shorts and panties in one go.

“Lif’ up yer arms.” He demanded, I did as told even though he is my fiancé he still is my dad, I still have to take orders from him. He took off the shirt in no time flat then he stepped in the small ass excuse for a shower and helped me in, even though I was capable of going in myself.

He didn’t let me do anything! He even shaved my legs for me! I didn’t even know how he did it but he was able to get a smother shave then me. I stood at the sink in a towel that dad wrapped around me putting on my makeup while he shaved.

I applied heavier foundation and concealer then normal, after I shaved my eyebrows of course. I drew my brows on and got to work on my eye makeup.

Every once and a while I would see dad look over and smile a bit to himself, I put down my blush brush and blush and looked in the mirror. I didn’t wear lipstick or gloss because I had problems with it staying on all day.

“Yeh look beau’iful honeh.” Dad said standing behind me and tucking my now dry hair behind my ear. I smiled at him and we went back into the lounge to get dressed.

Dad quickly shoved on a pair of boxer briefs, one of his nicer pairs of skin tight jeans and a button up shirt that he didn’t button yet.

Dad took off my towel then got to his knees after getting my thong he smirked a little as I held onto his shoulders and I stepped into the thong.

He looked up at me as he brought it up my legs his face screams ‘we are so fucking tonight’ I smiled shaking my head he seen this and laughed, he knew I knew what he wanted.

To tell you the truth I don’t even know I could make it that far. I was so tired but I guess we shall see.