The Violet Hour

Chapter Fifteen.

I walked into the apartment and threw my keys onto the table and sat down on the couch. I saw Jon standing in the kitchen reading something. I was in a pretty bad mood from class and just plain life.
“Can we talk for a second?” Jon asked me as he walked over. Oh god, what now?
“Yeah, what's up?” I asked.
“Are you seeing a therapist?” He asked me.
“What are you talking about?” I asked. How did he find out?
“You left your phone here and your mom texted you asking if you went to the therapist this week.” He said.
“You're looking through my phone?” I asked laughing.
“No, it just showed up when I heard it go off.” He said.
“Please, just answer. Are you going to one?” He asked me. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair.
“Yeah, I am.” I said.
“For how long?” He asked me.
“Two years now.” I said quietly.
“Why didn't you tell me?” He said letting his voice raise.
“I didn't know I was supposed to.” I told him.
“Why are you going? I thought you were happy?” He asked me.
“Jon, I am happy. You can go to a damn therapist even when you're happy.” I said standing up.
“Then why do you need one?” He asked me getting up.
“You want to know why? Fine. Every man I've ever been with has cheated on me and left me. I never feel good enough around anyone. I run away when something bad happens. I never feel comfortable in my own skin and no one notices that. No, let me re-phrase that, no one cares. I don't feel pretty enough to be with you, I don't feel smart enough to be with you, I don't feel good enough to be with you. I can't tell you these things because I know what you'll say. I have no one to talk to. I have what, two friends? Everyone left me the second my ex left me. There are days when I hate myself and I feel lost. I need someone to talk to.” I said throwing my hands in the air.
“That's why I'm here. I'm your boyfriend. Do you not trust me? I'm not going to cheat on you! I'm here so you can talk to me.” He said.
“I've been through a lot in my life, Jon. More than what my brother or I have even begun to told you. I don't want you to know some of these things, I have to talk to someone with an unbiased opinion. Someone who doesn't know me. I just need someone I can spill my guts to when I need to.” I said almost starting to cry. I don't cry a lot so this was obviously getting to me.
“I trust you more than any other person. I need things on my own though. I don't want everyone around me know everything about me. I'm not ready to tell you some of these things about myself.” I finished.
“Is what we have based off lies? I mean, are you lying to me everyday?” He asked me.
“I don't go around and lie to people. That's so ridiculous you would even ask that. I've been honest about everything to you. What I do in my own time, is my own business. I'm not hurting you at all.” I said.
“You lied to Patrick.” He said.
I stood there and stared at him for a second. I grabbed my coat and bag and left the apartment.
♠ ♠ ♠
Comments? :)