The Violet Hour

I walked into the apartment after class and laid down on the couch. My jacket and shoes all still on. I had a massive headache and I was just in one of those moods where everything seemed to suck. I heard footsteps coming from the hallway.
“What are you doing home, Jon?” I asked. I didn't think he would be home for a little while. “He is home.” I heard someone say. I shot right up. Oh no.
“Hi Patrick.” I said quietly.
“Hey you.” He said sitting down next to me. I got up quickly and went over to the kitchen table. “You know, you don't have to move when I sit down next to you.” He said laughing. I started laughing nervously. I saw Jon walk out from the hallway.
“Oh my gosh! You know what? I just remembered I have a study session with a kid from my class.” I said fumbling with the buttons on my jacket.
“You don't need to leave.” Patrick said sighing.
“No, no. Stay! I really just came here to grab some stuff quick.” I said quickly. I grabbed my bag and basically dashed out the door. I walked out onto the street not really knowing where I was going. I walked down the street and it started to drizzle.
“God, why do you hate me so much?!” I groaned out loud. People turned their heads and looked at me. Oh yay, I look like a total headcase now. I kept going down the street and I remembered when Jon came over late one night and walked down the street with me. It was the first time that I lived in Chicago when I did not see a single person outside. I remember him holding my hand and he was talking about how he thought his life was perfect. I remember how that made me smile and how I had butterflies in my stomach. I also remember it being freezing outside and how my jeans basically froze to my skin. I have such a nice way to ruin memories, don't I? I found myself down at the park, the same park where I always seem to go when I have problems. Does this count as a problem even? I'm not even sure if I'm mad. I think I'm just sad. I sat at a park bench and watched the little kids play around with dogs or other little kids. They were happy.
“I thought I would find you here.” I heard someone say. I looked up and saw Jonathan with his hands in his coat pocket looking up at me.
“Hey.” I said with a small smile.
“Can I sit?” He asked me. I just nodded my head. He sat next to me and stretched his legs and sighed.
“What's going on lately, Blaine?” He asked me. I shook my head.
“Do you think I'm crazy?” I asked him.
“Of course not. Why would you ask that?” He asked me.
“I'm worried you think I'm a headcase. Nothing has been right since you found out I go to a therapist. We've been avoiding each other, except when you come home.” I started saying. “Blaine, I was wrong when I said all those things to you. I can't judge you, you have every right to do what you want. I was just mad at you because I want to be the one you tell these things to.” He said.
“There are days when I feel so screwed up inside. I love you Jon, I really do but you don't deserve me most days. You put up with me way more than you should.” I said.
“When you love someone, you put up with it. You aren't a bad person. You're lost and I don't know why but I want to help you. I love you and that's why I'm here. If I didn't, I would let you sit here all night.” He said.
“We'll figure something out but I know this is working. There's a reason it's working and I'm the happiest I've ever been. A lot of that is because of you. You've changed my life and I can't even begin to explain that to you.” He finished. I looked up at Jonathan and smiled.
This is what it was supposed to feel like, I felt normal.