Like You to Me

Adele was nowhere to be found when I needed her. I didn’t need her; I needed someone. After what I’d just witnessed, I needed someone to tell me what to do. Telling Mike seemed like my best option; that’d require stabbing my brother in the back. I knew he expected me to keep this secret even though he was so drunk he probably didn’t know his own name. No matter what I did I was going to hurt someone. Lose-lose situations were never my speciality. I always needed some sort of control over what was going on. I couldn’t hurt two people but I knew I wouldn’t be able to carry the weight of the secret on my shoulders.

There were so many people it was hard to move. They were dancing, drinking, crowding around in groups. I found it hard to breathe. To tell you the truth, I hated parties before I met Mike. Being around so many people at one time made me nervous, claustrophobic even. That’s why I kept an entire row in the van to myself. If I shared it with anyone I got horrible nausea -- I’d tried. (You didn’t think five guys gave up all that leg room without a fight, did you?) Regardless, parties weren’t my thing. People expected them to be because of the company I kept: Adele, Mike and my brother were all party people. That’d been left out of my DNA I suppose.

I found myself in the temporary coat room before I found a familiar face. Adele and I kept our belongings separate from everyone else’s just in case we needed to make a quick run to the liquor store. We’d learned from past mistakes that, in a hurry, digging through ten pounds of jackets wasn’t very convenient. Darby had accidentally stumbled into the office one day and was forced to hang a row of coat hooks before he left, which was where my black peacoat was hanging.

I dug my phone out of my pocket and shot Adele a quick text, telling her to lock up after everyone was gone, I had something to take care of. I was hoping she knew better than to ask questions. Being involuntarily forced into the position I was in made me sick to my stomach. All I could think of was Mike’s face when I told him his girlfriend cheated on him with my brother. What a sick twist of fate. I was doubtful that he’d even believe me; it sounded too convenient to be true. I was also doubtful that Saxon would back me up on my accusation. He was never very good at confrontation and him and Mike were on rocky ground as it was. Then I pictured my brother’s face when he found out I’d stabbed him in the back. There was a ten-to-one chance he’d ever talk to me again.

What do you do then? Do you keep your brother’s secret, knowing it’d destroy your best friend’s life, or do you tell your best friend the truth, knowing it’d probably result in your brother never talking to you again? I was at a loss. I was standing at a crossroads debating between paths. Everything was so fucked up.

I sat in my car for a long time. Going home would only drive me mad; I needed some sort of social interaction that didn’t involve my brother or anyone with the last name of Fuentes. Who, then? Everyone was at the party.

With a burst of hope, I pulled my phone back out of my pocket and dialed Zach’s number. It was nearing one in the morning; I felt bad, but I really needed someone to talk to.

“Hello?”

“Zach? Zach, it’s Shea.”

He laughed. It was raspy; I’d woken him up. “I know.”

“Sorry to wake you, but-”

“Are you all right?”

I stopped and took a deep breath. “I, uh, shit,” I stuttered, already feeling bad for calling him so late. “Could you meet me at Studio? I just...need someone to talk to.”

I heard some rustling before he replied, “Of course. I can be there in fifteen minutes.”

I agreed before hanging up. Studio was a twenty-four hour diner a bunch of us always went to in the middle of the night. The owners and half of the waiting staff knew us by name. All of them loved the PTV gang. There wasn’t a member of that band who couldn’t sweet talk their way into free dinner. Or, in our case, free middle-of-the-night food. It also wasn’t that far from the office, but the tricky part wasn’t going to be the drive, it was going to be getting out of the parking lot. Nova shared the lot with the Apple store next door. That’s how I met Stephanie, Tony’s girlfriend.

Studio was never very busy in the middle of the night. By one in the morning all the sporting events were over so the bar was empty and almost everyone over the age of thirty was home in bed. I spotted Zach’s tiny car instantly: it was bright red and the bumper was covered in stickers. They were mostly logos of his favorite bands but either way you couldn’t see a speck of red paint.

“Hey,” he said, instantly wrapping me in a hug.

“Hey yourself.”

“Hungry?” he asked as he jabbed his thumb toward the entrance of the diner.

“Not really. I feel kind of sick.”

Zach grabbed my shoulders. “Did you drive here drunk?”

“No, no, no,” I shook my head. “I didn’t drink all night.”

“So something happened.” I nodded. “And that is...?”

“My brother hooked up with Mike’s girlfriend.” I groaned and rested my head in the nook of Zach’s neck.

“Lovely,” he mumbled. “Does Mike know?”

“No, that’s where I’m stuck. What do I do?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I would tell him if I were you.”

“And risk having my brother never talk to me again?”

He laughed. “I’d love to see the day your brother stays mad at you for more than three days.”

The three days he was referring to occurred a few tours ago. We were in Massachusetts and Saxon thought it’d be funny to leave me at the gas station. I had to call a cab. I didn’t have enough money to cover the ride all the way to the venue so I went as far as the cabbie could take me and walk the rest of the way. When I finally met up with everyone, I punched my brother in the face so hard I broke his nose. He didn’t talk to me for three days.

“I just...I don’t think I can do that to him.”

Zach sighed as he pulled his sweatshirt tighter around him. “I don’t know what to tell you, Shea. I understand where you’re coming from but someone’s going to have to get hurt.”

My expression hardened. “I didn’t ask to be put in this situation.”

“No, maybe you didn’t, but now you’re in it and you’ve got to find a way out.”

Even though I didn’t want to admit it, I knew he was right. Someone was going to get hurt; I knew it was going to be Mike. Whether I told on my brother or not, Mike was going to have to deal with his girlfriend cheating on him. There wasn’t anything I could do about that. Unless I didn’t tell him, of course. That would spare him the pain of knowing. “Ignorance is bliss” -- but is it really? Mike, although a lot of things, had never been fake. If he suddenly found out that his relationship had been a lie, it’d kill him. And it’d be my fault.

“I don’t think I’m the one you need to be talking to.”

“I know,” I replied. “Thank you.”

He nodded and gave me a hug before leaving. I still had no idea what I was going to do. My brother was first on my list but he wouldn’t be in the right state of mind until the afternoon. He probably wouldn’t even remember what he did. Talking to Mike wasn’t going to be much easier. I assumed he was still mad at me for what happened at the party. I’d never know if I didn’t try, though.

“Answer your goddamn phone,” I groaned. The line kept ringing and ringing, eventually leading to voicemail. “Saxon, it’s me. You’re probably too drunk to talk so I just wanted to let you know that I’m about to do something that will probably piss you off but I have to do it. If you have questions, call me later. Don’t be too mad at me.”

I disconnected the call and climbed back into my SUV. Mike’s house wasn’t all that far from Studio, but the drive wasn’t long enough for me to clear my head completely. My heart was pounding out of my chest and I still couldn’t shake the nauseous feeling. By the time I finally got there, I was convinced I was going to throw up all over his porch.

“What are you doing here?” he asked when he opened the door.

I sighed. “I have something to tell you.”