Like You to Me

Mike’s living room never seemed so uninviting as it did when I took a seat on the couch. There were empty beer bottles littered across the coffee table: a clear indication that this conversation was going to have yet another road block. The television was set on the sports channel, replaying a soccer match between Germany and Brazil, providing the only light in the house except for the porch light that was always on, even in the middle of the day. Even though the boys’ love for soccer should’ve provided some sort of comfort blanket, it didn’t make me feel any better. Mike didn’t want me there and it was obvious.

“You had something to tell me?” he asked, taking another swig of beer. He set it down on the coffee table roughly, causing me to wince.

“At the party, I-”

“Look, if you’re going to apologize, don’t bother. I don’t care, Shea. I’m done with your shit and I’m done with everyone trying to make me look like the bad guy.”

His words hit me like a ton of bricks. If I had ever thought Mike Fuentes was going to give up on me it was nothing compared to now. But I’d never had a reason to feel like that. He’d always been so patient and understanding with me, always tried to reason with me before things got too out of hand. It was too late for that now. The tone of his voice and the fire behind his eyes told me that loud and clear. He’d had enough of my pathetic drama and was moving on.

“It wasn’t about that,” I tried, hoping to break through his drunken stubbornness.

“Then what, Shea? Are you going to tell me you saw my girlfriend cheating on me in hopes of me breaking up with her?”

That was it then. All I could do was save face and leave before things got too embarrassing. But Mike could always see right through me. He knew when I was upset, when something was really tearing me apart, and he could usually talk me down from it. I know he saw the tears in my eyes but he didn’t stop me. He just let me walk back through the front door, not once appearing in the doorway to ask me to come back, to tell me we could work through it.

Things were different now, and I wasn’t sure they were ever going to go back to normal.

Not knowing what else to do, I drove home. Going back to the party seemed useless. I wasn’t going to have a good time and I knew Adele would ask questions I wasn’t in the mood to answer. Seeing my brother would send me into a fit, so going home was my only option.

As I unlocked the door and turned all the lights on, I was greeted by a loud groan, earning a frightened scream from me.

“Turn the fuckin’ lights off!”

“What are you doing here?” I screamed at my brother, who was half-asleep on the couch with a pillow over his face.

“I had too many drinks so Adele brought me here.”

I stopped dead in my tracks in the middle of the living room, sincerely hoping my brother hadn’t told her what happened. Everyone knew Adele’s big mouth always got her in trouble, and if she told the wrong person, we were all done for.

“Do you remember anything from the party?”

Saxon groaned again, annoyed by my questions. “No, I don’t.”

“Are you still drunk?”

“Slightly.”

I nodded, leaving the living room to fetch my brother some coffee. I figured I’d need to talk to him before anyone else, since I felt compelled to keep his loyalty more than Mike’s. He obviously wasn’t concerned about the status of our relationship anymore so I decided I shouldn’t be, either. But the time it took to brew the coffee and add everything Saxon required got me thinking. It seemed as though this was going to be the end of our friendship. Was I going to be able to handle that?

“Here,” I said, setting the mug of coffee on the table in front of my brother.

“I can’t get up.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” I snapped, grabbing his arm and pulling him into a sitting position.

“I hope I puke all over your apartment.”

I glared at him. “You shouldn’t even be here. You have your own.”

“Yours was closer.”

“Just drink the damn coffee, Saxon.”

“Sheesh, you’re grumpy.”

“And you did something incredibly stupid that I need to talk to you about, so drink up.”

“That’s what got me in this mess to begin with,” he said, but drank the coffee anyway. “Now, what’d I do?”

“You fucked someone in the bathroom.”

He grinned. “Nice.”

“Not nice!” I screamed. “You don’t even remember who it was?”

“Stop screaming! It hurts my head!”

“You deserve it!”

“Your neighbor’s are gonna call the cops!”

“Let them! You’ll get thrown in jail for human stupidity!”

He scowled. “That’s not even real.”

“It should be. Just for people like you.”

“Whatever,” he dismissed. “Who did I fuck that’s got your panties all up in a bunch?”

“Mike’s girlfriend,” I said quietly, almost afraid of his reaction.

“Mike’s girlfriend? Mike Fuentes?” I nodded. “Fuck, I better make an appointment at the clinic.”

“Saxon, this isn’t funny. She cheated on him with you!”

“So what? Now you can break them up and get what you’ve wanted all along.”

“No.”

“No?”

“I - I tried to tell him what happened and he wouldn’t listen to me.”

“Why not?”

“Because he thinks I’m doing it on purpose to break them up.”

“Aren’t you?”

“No,” I said timidly. If Saxon didn’t believe me then I had no clue what I was going to do.

“Of course you’re not, you’re just trying to do the right thing,” he said. I nodded. “Well, fuck him then. If you tried to tell him the truth and he didn’t want to hear it then fuck him.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad? I don’t even remember what happened. Besides, I can’t be mad at you for trying to do the right thing.”

I was so relieved I nearly burst into tears again. “I thought you’d hate me if I told him.”

He sighed and wrapped me in a hug. “Shea, the dickhead broke your heart. Me sleeping with his girlfriend, even if I don’t remember doing it, was the least I could do. I could never hate you.”

I nodded. “It’s just not fair, Sax. I’d never do anything to hurt him and he won’t even give me a chance, yet he’s more than willing to go on dating some stupid slut who couldn’t care less about his feelings.”

“I know, but one day he’ll realize what a dumb mistake he made and he’ll come running back to you and then the ball’s in your court. You can tell him to fuck off and then he’ll know how it feels.”

“I don’t think I’d tell him to fuck off, though. Is that bad?”

“Yes, but you’re in love and when a person’s in love they tend to be kinda stupid.”

Saxon cracked a smile, contagious to me, and we both burst into laughter. I knew he was right and only time would tell what the outcome of the Shea and Mike saga would be. I decided to just let it be then. Worrying over it only got me worked up into a frenzy, resulting in a few avoidable hangovers and a load of regrets, and I was tired of letting him control everything I did. I wanted to wake up in the morning and think about something other than him, and go to bed doing the same. I wanted to care about things other than him and wonder about things other than what he was doing. I wanted my phone to vibrate and me not hope it was him and be disappointed when it wasn’t. I wanted my life back. I wanted him gone.

But things like that are always easier said than done.