Shattered By Broken Dreams

Now, I don’t know why, but Michael is the only person who can beat Mark and I at beer pong. It’s always been that way.

As our game commenced, I could tell that Matt was working his way up to something. I just didn’t know what. So when I was up to shoot and Matt was there to guard his cup, I was a little hesitant. He wasn’t lying when he said that he was better when he was drunk. His aim was dramatically improved. We were down to one and one and we’d been going back and forth for 3 turns now. The last cup is always the hardest to make.

To try to distract me, Matt had taken his shirt off in the slowest, most sensual fashion his drunken self could do. I’ll admit that it was a little distracting. Not enough to completely break my concentration, though.

Now, as I was lining up my winning shot, Matt smirked and pulled down his zipper. That had me smirking. I study medicine. There is not a body part that I haven’t studied. I just didn’t expect all of him… And, yes, there was a lot of it. Even completely limp, he was HUGE. The sight of it made Mark gape, effectively dropping his lit cigarette onto his flip flop clad toe; Billie Joe took a picture; Michael freaked out because he thought that Matt kept a pet snake, then laughed at his stupidity and unwitting innuendo; and I just froze. Good God, this man was well endowed.

“Wassa matter, Bekah boo?” Matt asked smugly. “I know I’m hot, but damn, girl. You don’t gotta stare like I’m the last steak on the planet.”

That pissed me off. I was not salivating over this guy’s junk. I was surprised he was that big. So I lined up my shot and I made the mistake of throwing in anger. It was funny, though. I hit Matt in the face. I got soooooooooooooo lucky. The ball bounced off of his nose and into his cup.

I acted like I did it on purpose, though. “Game, set, match. Drink up, boo.” I smirked with a glint in my eyes.

The hoots and hollers of the bystanders was deafening as I slid our cup down the table at Matt and Michael. I then walked away from my table after telling Mark that it’d been fun, but some of us have to work tomorrow.

I had one last cigarette before heading to shower. The bus was empty, so I didn’t feel weird about walking the three steps from the shower to the bedroom. As I was putting my underwear on, I heard movement from maybe a few feet from the door. I threw a shirt on as quickly as I could and began rummaging through my bag for my mace. The door slammed open just as I got my fingers wrapped around it. I whipped around to find a very drunk Matt standing there.

“Not even gonna say good night? That hurts, baby.” He slurred, walking heavily towards me.

“Matt. I have to go to bed. I have to be up before the crowd gets here to help set up and I work all day. Good night.”I said as nicely as I could, barely managing to hide the slight tremor in my voice. Can you blame me? The last time I drank in a place where I hardly knew anyone, I got raped.

“Nighty night, Bekah. Wanna boost?” He asked from only two feet away.

“I’m good tonight, thanks though.” I said as I stepped on the edge of his bed and threw my leg up so that I could pull myself up onto my bunk, still grasping my mace. I fell into a nightmare plagued sleep. My new normal.

I awoke with a start to American Idiot blasting next to my head. Several groans were heard from around the room.

“Why does this shit happen? Every fucking time we drink, something wakes us up very loudly, very early. But the nights we don’t, nothing happens. Ever.” Zacky moaned into his pillow.

“Turn it oooooooofffff.” Brian whined.

I turned my alarm off and got out of my bunk as quietly as I could, gathered my clothes, and went into the bathroom to change. When I came out, the bus was silent again. I’m guessing that the guys went back to sleep. The living area of the bus was inhabited by the Green Day men and Mark and Michael, all of whom were snoring lightly.

I sighed as I put my shoes on, thinking about how stupid I was to be afraid of Matt, of all people, last night. Now that my head is cleared, though, I can almost laugh about it.

Before I began my clamber over the bodies, I heard Matt call out to me. “Bekah, can I talk to you real fast?” He sounded a little hung over.

“Sure. Put on pants and some sunglasses and walk with me.” I laughed quietly.

Matt looked down and realized that he only had boxers on, blushed, and asked me to wait. I nodded. He came back out fully dressed and had his signature aviators covering his eyes. We began our dance over the unconscious men on the floor of the bus.

Once we were outside, Matt heaved a breath. “So, how much of last night was real? I didn’t really… expose myself, did I?”

I laughed. “You did.” I paused to light a cigarette. “It was pretty impressive. And I got so mad when you flaunted it. I threw the ball at your face, it hit your nose and bounced into your cup. I couldn’t do that again if I wanted to. I went to bed after that round.” I neglected to tell him about coming back to say good night.

“You didn’t tell me how much I scared you when I came to say good night. I know I wasn’t exactly all cuddly. I wanted to apologize for that. I saw the mace can. It fell off your bunk when you got up this morning. I am so so sorry about that. I never want to do that to you again. I never want to hurt you in any way, shape, or form. Please let me know if I scare you again.” He stopped and turned me to face him.

“I know. I’m just a little paranoid. I know now that it was ridiculous to fear anything about you. Even drunk, you’re a big teddy bear. Granted, you’re hornier, but you’re still respectful of my wishes. It’ll take me a while to get over this thing. But I’ll get over it eventually.” I smiled sadly.

“Bekah, this isn’t just something to get over. You genuinely have reason to not trust men. It’s a miracle you haven’t been in therapy because of what you’ve been through. I admire how strong you’ve been. But I want you to know that me and all the guys, whenever you want to tell them what happened, will be there for you whenever you need us.” Matt said, looking into my eyes.

“Thank you, Matt. That means a lot to me.” I hugged him.

We got to the medic tent and I said my goodbyes as I started working.

By the time my break came around, Mark and Michael had come in to say goodbye and so had the guys of Green Day. It just so happened that Avenged was playing just after I got off for lunch. I grabbed some food and hustled to their performance. It would be the first of theirs that I’ve seen.

I have to say, they’re amazing live. I didn’t expect it to be that good, but now that I know that the boys are some of the few true talents left in the music world, I realized that they were everything that they showed to the public; determined, strong, and loyal to a fault. It all showed in their performance. They were spectacular.

Matt has such a presence, Zacky and Brian have amazing chemistry, Jimmy can just be himself like no one else I’ve ever known, and Jonny is in his own little world. I was in awe from beginning to end.