A Girl in Glass

The stars were gently fading from the sky. It was that time of the morning when the sun starts coming up and chases the blackness of night away, turning the sky beautiful shades of pinks, blues, and purples. This was the seventh time I have watched the sun come up from this spot by the pier.

My hand moved furiously over the thick paper of my sketch book. Oil pastels coating my finger tips as I blended the colors to match the sky. This morning I get a man running across the beach with his dog. Yesterday it was a flock a seagulls sitting on the railings of the pier and so on and so forth, each one in a different medium.

Unfortunately this wasn’t my normal morning routine. This was the product of not being able to get a decent nights sleep. For the last three weeks I have been getting a few hours of sleep early in the evening, by three o’clock, I suddenly wake, a sudden feeling of dread comes over me and my eyes burst open. It goes away but I can’t fall back asleep.

Sitting in my house all night got to me after while, there was nothing on TV, reading got boring and let me tell ya, I love reading. But that is all besides the point.

I decided to start taking walks in the early morning and picked a different place to sketch. Seven days and I keep returning to the same place. It was serene and made the chaos that was torturing me on the inside disappear until the picture was finished and I had to return to my adult life.

I finished this mornings picture and looked down at my watch, seven on the nose. I wiped my hands on an old rag and gathered my supplies, putting them back into my messenger bag. I dug my cigarettes out of the side pocket and lit one up to walk the mile back home. And if there is one thing to be said about doing this every day, at least I was getting some exercise.

It was almost eight by the time I got up to the porch and sitting there was Edgar, my long time companion and pet cat. He would follow me to the end of the next block down then turn around and head back home. He wasn’t much of a beach cat or an outdoors cat for that matter.

I reached down and gave him a quick scratch behind the ear and spoke to him, “You ready for breakfast?”

He gave me a nudge with his head and meowed as if to say, “Yes human, feed me now.”

I unlocked the door and pushed it open, Edgar hurrying through and into the kitchen. I followed him to the pantry and got him a cup of his dry food. I set it on the counter and pulled a fresh bowl out of the cabinet. I mixed the dry food with a little wet then set the bowl by the refridgerator.

Edgar shoved his face in the bowl and began scarfing the food down, I chuckled and shook my head, “Slow down dude, its like I never feed you.” I scratched him behind the ear and proceeded to look for something for myself to eat.

I rummaged through the pantry, it was pretty bare except for canned goods and I wasn’t even sure if some of them were still in date. There was nothing but condiments and old take-out in the refridgerator and ice cream in the freezer. I really need to go grocery shopping. I settled on a cup of tea and would get a bite to eat on my way to the shop.

I took my mug upstairs and ran myself a bath. I set the mug on the edge of the tub and poured some aromatic bath oils under the running faucet. I shed my clothes and kicked them out of the attached bathroom into the bedroom. The warm water felt good over my body, it was relaxing. My tense muscles loosened, I could feel my eyes get heavy.

I woke a short time later, the water was getting cold, I could feel a chill over come me. I pulled the plug and stood up. I turned the water back on and showered so I could at least wash my body and hair. After my shower, I dried off and sat at my vanity. Examining myself in the mirror was horrible. I looked like shit. The grayish bags under my eyes gave away that I hadn’t been sleeping much. My hair was a mess, roots showing, color fading, in desperate need of a trim or just a new style all together. And to make matters worse, I have a few zits here and there from eating junk all the time because I have been far too lazy to shop and cook myself actual meals.

It’s sad really. I loved getting ready and making myself pretty for the day. I usually took great pride in my appearance and now I’m just a lazy ass who would rather just pull my hair up and wear jeans and t-shirts. I decided to at least do a little natural looking makeup to make it look like I wasn’t sick but not my usual bright colored, eye shadowy elaborate makeup.

Satisfied that I didn’t look sickly, I rummaged through my closet. Skirt, skirt, jeans, sweats, capris, skirt. Nothing was really jumping out at me. The doorbell rang, so I quickly pulled on a pair of sweats and a tee shirt and ran down the stairs, I slowly opened the door and found Ash standing there with a brown bag. I opened the door all the way and smiled, “Morning.”

He stepped inside and reached in the bag, “Breakfast?” He held out a breakfast burrito.

I snatched the foil wrapped breakfast item from his hands, ‘“The food gods have smiled upon me!”

Ash sat at the table with me and unwrapped his burrito as I dug into mine. Edgar jumped up on to the table, I slammed the palm of my hand against the table, sending him running to the floor.

“He never used to do that before I moved into this house.” I commented to Ash. He just shrugged and continued eating his breakfast.

“Why didn’t you come in through the garage?”

His chewing and he swallowed what was in his mouth with a large gulp, “Yeah, about that..”

Ash trailed off and gave me an innocent look. Before he could even say anything, I already knew what was going to come out of his mouth.

“You lost another one huh?”

Ash’s apartment was a black hole, clean as can be, but for some reason a void where your belongings went and were never to be seen again. Then again, Ash was forgetful, left things in strange places. Sometimes I really thought he was a blonde female trapped in a mans body.

“I swear it was in my car but then I thought I had it in my gym bag. I don’t know, it just disappeared.”

I set my burrito down on a napkin and went to the junk drawer by the sink. Luckily I kept a spare there, knowing well enough that he could lose another one. I pulled it from the drawer and turned back to the table. In that instance I suddenly figured out why Edgar had become such a beggar.

Ash was leaned over feeding him little bits of bacon from his burrito! No wonder Edgar came running every time I opened the refrigerator door or heard me rustling around in the pantry.

I glared at Ash and stomped on the floor, Edgar ran out of the kitchen and Ash shot up, staring at me.

“Why did you do that? You scared Edgar.” Ash pouted at me, trying to play the innocent game, “He never gives me love.”

I pointed at him, “You have been feeding him from the table. How long has this been going on?”

Ash just shrugged, “Eh, three, maybe four months. Maybe longer. Bacon or cheese here and there, some lunch meat when I you have it. Mostly cheese. He really likes cheese and yogurt. I couldn‘t help it, he would look at me with those big blue eyes and meow oh so sweetly.”

As much as I wanted to slap him, I just shook my head and sat down. It was hard for me to get mad at the guy. We have been best friends since we were eleven and pretty much inseparable from the time I moved in to my aunt and uncles house.

“Alright, enough is enough. No more. You are going to make him fat and then he is going to have a little kitty heart attack and then I might kill you.”

Ash pouted and wobbled his head from side to side, “Alright. I won’t do it anymore. Scouts honor.”

“You got kicked out of the boy scouts.”

He scoffed, “I hated shitting in the woods. Don’t you?”

“And tying knots, catching bugs, all the things little boys do. And well, yeah, but I do it when I have to.”

Ash shook his head with a slight chuckle, “I never understood why you were so outdoorsy, but anyway, I got an earlier flight and need to you take my car over to Randy’s to get my oil changed and tires rotated.”

“Need, how bout could you please or will you?”

He pouted at me, “Please take my car to Randy’s.”

“Alright, as long as we can get my new glasses on our way into the shop.”

Ash jumped up and hugged me tight saying thank you excitedly. I ran up the stairs to finish getting ready. I still couldn’t figure out what to wear. After much debate I decided on my black leggings, an altered Darkthrone shirt that I cut to have a scoop neck. I looked at the clock, 9:00, we really needed to get going if we wanted to open the shop up on time and to get my new glasses.

When I got downstairs, Ash was staring into the living room with a disappointed look on his face. I stood next to him, trying to figure out what was wrong.

“This place is a mess.”

I looked at him, slightly irritated and kind of snapped at him, “So what?”

“There are dishes and trash every where, this is not like you.”

“Listen, I don’t need you getting on me about this, I don’t tell you how to live.”

He reached for the front door, “I’m not telling you how to live. I’m just commenting because this is not how you are. This place is in disarray, don’t forget to change the lights on the snakes cage.”

He walked out the door, leaving me to feel a little shitty about how I just treated him. I went to the snake cage in the corner of the room and turned on their day lamps then looked around. He was right. Not only have I been neglecting myself, but I was neglecting my house.