Listen To Your Heart.

I stared at the same pamphlet for what seemed like hours, when John walked into the room he started laughing. “You have the cutest look on your face” I scrunched my nose up and chucked the pamphlet at him. Of course though, seeing it was only paper it floated down to my feet and John laughed in a satisfied kinda way. I just sighed and rested my head on the desk in front of me.

“Bee, why are you looking at Colleges?” I didn’t move, I couldn’t think. John stood there though waiting for an answer. “What am I going to do with my life? Do you know how hard it is to get a job when you haven’t been to college?” I didn’t move, John came and kneeled next to me. “You don’t have to go to college to sell merch” I looked up at John and smiled, he was serious though.

“I can’t sell merch for the rest of my life though John” he looked down at his hands, he kept his voice low. “You wouldn’t have to, I could pay for everything” John’s eyes met mine “Are you planning on marrying me one day Mr. O’Callaghan?” I smiled as John’s cheeks darkened. “I was thinking about it Miss Lewis.” I kissed John’s cheek and took the pamphlet out of his hands. “Well, I’d like to keep my options open. For now I guess I’ll just work at Denny’s” John smiled and kissed me before walking out of my room ruffling his hair. I sighed and looked at the pamphlet one more time before putting it on my desk.

My phone started to vibrate viciously in my pocket, it was an unfamiliar number but it was only a text. I stared out through my window at the pink sky. It was a picture message, it was Alex and I and underneath read
‘I miss you and I know you miss me. That kiss, it left me wanting more. I love you’
I closed my eyes and chucked my phone onto my desk. I walked into the bathroom and splashed water onto my face, I stared at myself in the mirror. My blonde hair sat at my hips, my eyes were red from reading the same words over and over again. I sighed and walked back into my room rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

John was sitting at my desk with his head in his hands, “John what’s wrong?” I walked over to see John with tear filled eyes. “You kissed Alex, how could you?!” he had my phone in front of him, I looked down. “John, he grabbed my hand after the concert and kissed me. I pulled away of course, I just didn’t want to hurt you” John stood up and walked over to me. “He kissed you the night I told you I loved you.” John turned around and ran his hands through his hair; he picked up my little mirror and threw it across the room. When it hit the wall and shattered into a million pieces I gasped. “John” He turned around and looked me in the eyes, I couldn’t speak. “I love you and I’m sorry” he walked past me laughing a sarcastic laugh. “You love me, bullshit.”

I followed him downstairs, Jenny was cooking dinner. She smiled at me but I chased after John. “John, you know I don’t like Alex. I’m sorry and I know I should have told you.” He turned around and leaned down, his face was inches away from mine. “Leave me the fuck alone, I don’t want to see you.” He walked off into the dining area and chucked his car keys at me. His family watched in disbelief as I started to cry and John walked outside.

I ran out the front and got in the car, I started driving not even knowing where to. I hit my hand against the horn. I pulled up at the lights and rested my head against the driving wheel, my sobbing filled the car. When someone pulled up next to me, I rubbed away me tears and stared at the lights. When it turned green I took off, there was shouting and I turned my head. Before I knew what was happening there was two bright lights coming towards me and then I blacked out.

The last thing that ran through my head before I passed out was John.