Listen To Your Heart.

I stood next to Nick out the front of Kennedy’s house absolutely pissing myself laughing. Nick opened the door and we walked inside to find all the boys arguing, I stood there baffled. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, John with his back to me shouting at the boys. I chocked on my own words, I was bewildered. “Fine, I’m out of here!” John’s was livid, I hadn’t seen him this angry; he was very intimidating when he was this angry.

He turned around and looked at me with eyes that shouted annoyance; he sighed and walked out of the house muttering some curse words under his breath. Nick and I looked at each other puzzled beyond belief. Nick walked forward but I stayed planted to the ground, a hundred and one things were running through my mind.I didn’t realise that I was being spoken to until the room fell silent and all eyes were awkwardly on me. I stuttered on my words and gave up, my head was still spinning.

I walked over and sat next to Pat, he was fiddling with his hands; he didn’t even look me in the eyes.
The boys went back to talking only this time I listened, I was confused asfuck. “Why were you guys arguing?” my voice was soft, the room fell silent again and Jared coughed. “Well, we confronted him about missing so much band practise” I looked around, most of the boys had their heads down. “And, what did he say?”Garrett and Kennedy looked at each other and sighed, Kennedy spoke. “He doesn’t know if he is committed to the band anymore” my mouth fell open,
this couldn’t be my John that they were talking about?!

“No, John loves his music-” Jared cut me off. “Yes, but not more than you” I looked at each one of them, not quite understanding what Jared meant. “I don’t follow” Kennedy toyed with his hands “He thinks that, if he continues with his music he might lose you” I froze, I all of a sudden felt disgusted with myself. I stood up and walked out of the house, not one of them followed me and for that I was glad.

I started walking home and everything started running through my head. I stopped walking and looked in front of me, the sun was setting and no one was around. I broke down; in the middle of Kennedy’s street I started bawling. I screamed, nothing else seemed to want to come out. I sighed and kept walking, John’s house wasn’t that far away. Walking gave me time to think about everything, I didn’t want John to give up his music for me. John was his music; it made him who he is today. Watching John walk away from that, I honestly don’t think I could.

I opened the front door and quietly walked upstairs to his room. I stood at his door wondering if I should go in or not, I sighed and opened the door. I found him lying on his bed staring at the roof. He didn’t move, he didn’t even look at me. I crawled in beside him and rested my face on his now bare chest. He wrapped his arms around me and it was like he was holding onto me, like I was going to disappear or something. I started to cry, this was in fact all my fault. His hands made their way to my face; he softly whipped away my tears. “I love you John Cornelius and I don’t want you to give up your music for me” I whimpered, I sounded pathetic but I was tired and upset. He sighed “I love you Belle Evelyn, but I don’t want to talk about this; not now anyway” he whispered. I nodded and closed my eyes.

John squeezed me tight and held me like I was his entire world, he held me as though I was falling apart; he held me in those arms which I had grown to love.