Listen To Your Heart.

John.

It wasn’t meant to end like this; she wasn’t supposed to leave. I had it all planned out in my head, putting it to use in real life though was hard. I was going to marry her in a couple of years, settle down and have a couple of kids. It was me and her; forever. Now all I'm left with is an empty space where her love use to be and a heart full of pain.
-

“This is my mail, why would you open it?!” she yelled, turning and walked inside, I grabbed her wrist. “They’ve been sending you letters for weeks” I bellowed “Why didn’t you tell me? We could have talked about it, made a plan” She pulled out of my grip. “I don’t want to talk about it, there is nothing in New York for me John!” she sighed and looked down. “Except a future” I whispered and shrugged. I didn’t want to fight anymore so I walked away. “So you’re allowed to walk away while we argue but I’m not? Guess what John, the quicker you realise I don’t want this, the better!” she shouted, I ignored her and got in my car.

As soon as I was around the corner I stopped and hit my hand against the steering wheel.

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid I kept thinking.

I didn’t know where else to go, I didn’t know who else would understand. As soon as I pulled up at Kenny’s house I knew they were all in there, I just knew it. I took a deep breath and started walking towards the front door. If I was honest with myself then I would have never questioned leaving my music or the boys. I missed it, so god damn much!

I knocked and put my hands in my pockets, Pat swung open the door and pulled me into a hug. “WE ARE GOING ON TOUR JOHNNY BOY!” he yelled, I looked around the room confused, they were all smiling. “What?” I questioned. “Tour baby!” Kennedy said running up and pulling me into a hug. I couldn’t contain my excitement, I screamed. “Tour!” all the boys started laughing. "You'll come won't you John?" Pat pouted, I laughed and pulled him into a head lock. "Yes!" Garrett and Jared chuckled.

You couldn’t whip the smile off my face, this could be the start of our careers! It was like everything was falling into place, everything was good in my life! “I have to call Belle” they smiled and walked back to the couch, I grinned as I typed in her phone number. I scrunched my nose up, the number was engaged. I shrugged it off and went back to celebrate with my boys.

--

“Wow, I’ve been here for like 2 hours. Look I have to go home and tell Bee, talk to you guys later” I walked out of Kenny’s house with a surprisingly huge smile on my face. I pulled up at home rushed upstairs, I had to tell Bee. I opened her door; all Bees’ stuff was gone, her bed was made and there was a note sitting simply on her pillow. I didn’t realise I had been holding my breath until I was gasping for air. I sat down on the bed and looked at the note, not knowing whether or not to open it. My curiosity got the better of me and I started reading.

‘John,
I’m so proud of you, I’m so proud of everything you have accomplished in your life. What you’re doing, it’s amazing. I want you to have the most for filling life but I know I'm holding you back. John, music runs through your veins, I see how alive you are when you’re on stage. Music gives you a high that you shouldn’t have to give up for anyone. I love you, I truly do. I’ve given you everything and you’ve given me more than I could have ever expected from someone. I know what we have is real, and I know it could last forever but I can’t stand by and watch you not give a 110% towards your music because of me. You have a road to take John; I just can’t follow you because it’s not the right road for me. I love you a hundred times more than you will ever understand.
I’m sorry for all this pain I’m causing you; I love you sweetheart, forever.
Bee.’
My heart broke, it literally broke. I clutched my chest and gasped for air. “No” I muttered over and over and over again. My hands started to shake and my eyes became wet, my sobs filled the room. “No” I screamed, I pulled her letter into my chest.

I choked on her name,“Bee”