I Couldn't Be More Afraid

I got out of Marc’s bed, put my clothes back on, rand my fingers through my hair and started to walk toward the door. The emotions were too much; I was in over my head. He got what he wanted so I needed to get out before he had the chance to leave me.

“Where are you going?” he asked, putting his pants back on and following me to the bedroom door.

“Home.”

“Why?”

“You got what you wanted, why do you care?”

“Do you really think that’s all I wanted?” he sounded hurt.

“Your plan was to take me out to dinner then back here, what did you think would happen?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who wanted it, Layla. You didn’t exactly push me away.”

“How do you know I wasn’t using you to say that I banged a New York Ranger?”

“Because in that case, you would have done it weeks ago.”

I opened the door and he grabbed my other hand. I turned and looked at him; his red hair was sticking to his forehead and the drops of sweat remaining glistened on his chest. His eyes looked honest and caring as he pulled me into him. In that moment, I stopped fighting it and allowed him to wrap his arms around me, our bodies touching once again. Marc leaned down and kissed the top of my head before whispering “stay the night.” I raised my head until our eyes met, he leaned down as I stood on my toes and our lips met in the middle. There was sincerity to his kiss. The level of emotions was terrifying, but he was right, I couldn’t stay away.

“I have nothing to sleep in,” I said, obviously looking for an excuse not to stay.

“I’ll give you a t-shirt,” he responded too quickly before walking over to his dresser and pulling out a shirt that was probably longer than my dress. A shyness came over me as I put the t-shirt over my head before unzipping and removing my dress. Marc smiled at me as I changed; I was sure he was amused that I was hiding the same body that he had touched every inch of not long before.

Marc sat up on his bed and motioned for me to sit down next to him. I sat a few inches away and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer until my head was resting on his chest and our legs were touching. I thought I could hear his heart beat. He started to draw circles on my arm with his thumb and I felt more comfortable than I ever wanted to.

---

“Spill!” Leah greeted me as I walked into the bar the next night.

“What?” I responded in my most innocent voice.

“You’re glowing, was the sex that good?”

“Leah!” I could feel myself starting to blush, I never told her that we finally did it.

“Wow, next time Marc’s in the bar, I’m congratulating him,” she laughed.

“For what?”

“No guy has ever fucked you speechless.”

I had no words for that, I just laughed. The amazing sex aside, I actually had a really great night. Marc and I watched movies, made out, and talked all night. I fell asleep in his arms, this time intentionally. In the morning we had sex again before he left for practice and I showered, put my dress back on, and headed home to nap.

“Are our special guests going to be making an appearance tonight?” Alex came out of the kitchen asking.

“I don’t think so,” I responded, “after the game tonight, they’re getting on a plane to head to Toronto.”

“Yeah, well now that he finally nailed you, he’ll probably be around here more often.”

“How the hell…” I started.

“Look Lay, I’ve known you a while, you’ve been working here since you were 18, I know when you get laid for the first time in a while.” I looked over at Leah and she made a face to agree with Alex. Maybe I was a little giddy and maybe this thing was worth a shot. The crowds started to pour in about an hour before the puck was supposed to drop on the Ranger game and I noticed the light on my phone starting to flash. After making the first round of the bar, getting food and drink orders, and mixing up some drinks, I finally got to look at it.

Dubi: it’s about damn time. He’s fucking giddy.
Me: I have no idea what you’re talking about O:-)
Dubi: don’t play innocent with me. I invented that game.
Me: no comment Dubes.
Dubi: my friend’s girl hitting on me?
Me: haha not even close…and I’m no one’s girl.

“Layla, put down the phone and help me out here,” Leah yelled from across the bar. I looked up to notice that the crowd had gotten bigger while I was texting. I immediately put down my phone and started making drinks. I was in such a good mood that flirting with the customers was easier than usual. Leah got over being upset in about five seconds after I started working.

I kept an eye on the game, especially on Marc; at one point I watched as he shot a one timer off the point for a perfect goal. I saw Dubi whisper something to him when he skated over for to congratulate Marc on the goal. Part of me really wanted to know what he said another part of me knew better. Both of them smirked in the direction of the TV cameras and I looked over at Leah for her to tell me it didn’t happen, but she was laughing to herself.

The rest of the night stayed busy, our regulars were all joined by extra people and the bar was packed. It was one of those nights where we thought that the crowds would never stop. I took a peek in the tip jar and saw that it was overflowing; there would definitely be enough for a new outfit for when Marc got back. After thinking that, I was immediately upset at myself because it was way too obvious that I was getting attached. It didn’t matter what he said, I still wasn’t sure that he wasn’t going to run away now that he got what he wanted.

When it finally calmed down, Leah yelled over to me, “hey Lay, your phone’s been buzzing over here.” I walked over and picked it up to find a text from Dubi saying that he was going to give me a call after the game before getting onto the bus to head to the airport. I texted him back that the bar was crazy and that I would let him know if and when it was safe to call.

“Dubi wants to call me after the game,” I told Leah.

“I guess Marc’s just as giddy as you are today.”

“Not necessarily.”

“Did you see that shot from the point or the smirk on his face after.”

“You’re seeing things,” I told her, pretending that I didn’t see anything. The look on her face gave away that she watched me react. I hated that she knew me so well; working together every night for six months and occasionally for the four years before that definitely did something for us knowing each other. The game ended in a Ranger defeat, Marc’s being the only goal of the night.

“Too bad you’re not seeing Marc tonight,” Layla said after the game ended.

“Why?” I asked her.

“Because I’m betting losses make him angry and angry sex is hot.”

“I’m not going to sleep with him every time I see him.”

“Why not? He’s hot and he likes you and whether or not you tell me anything, I know you liked it.”

“How do you know?”

“Babe, there’s a spring in your step today and your eyes only came off the TV long enough to take a few orders.”

She was right, but I didn’t want to admit it. She got me thinking of what could happen if I saw Marc after a loss or even after a game where he didn’t play his best. It could prove to be a very interesting night if I went home with him after a game like that. Leah gave me a “now you’re thinking about it” look and I just giggled to myself. About an hour after the game, the bar was still full, but the customers were all content so Leah told me to go call Dubi and find out what he wanted. I went into the break room and pushed the send button on my phone; I was hoping that Marc wouldn’t be around him because I didn’t want him to know I was calling his friend.

“Last night must have been amazing,” he answered.

“Hi Brandon, how are you?”

“Oh drop it,” he laughed, “you know why I’m calling.”

“I don’t, please tell me.”

“Staalsy is practically floating today. The entire team made comments about it, you have no idea what it was like being around a celibate Marc Staal.”

“No one told him to go that long without sex.”

“He was waiting for you. I really don’t get it.”

“Get what?”

“Why you’re pretending there’s nothing there.”

“Until you said it the other night, I had no idea that he wasn’t sleeping around. He has a reputation, Dubes, a reputation that says he’ll bang a girl in every city.”

“I’m not going to tell you that he was never like that, but since he met you, he’s changed.”

“and I’m finally starting to believe that.”

“Good. Look, I don’t have details of what happened last night and I don’t need them, but it’s about fucking time you two got rid of that tension.”

“Thanks…I think? I have to get back to work.”

“Alright, I’ll talk to you soon…and Layla?”

“Yeah?”

“The reason I called was to thank you.”

“For what?”

“For giving Marc a chance to show you how he really feels. Maybe now the games will end. I’ll let you get back to work. Goodnight.”

“Night,” I responded before hanging up the phone and heading back into the bar. That was one of the most interesting calls I had ever gotten. I wasn’t sure why he needed to tell me all of that, but I knew that Dubi wanted to see Marc happy and maybe I would be the one to get him there. I decided that the rest of the night would be spent just working and having fun with Leah, trying to ignore what happened the night before and the phone call from Dubi. Since there were no sports games on the rest of the night, we put on old 90s pop songs on the jukebox and started to sing along. We both sang loud and off key and for some reason, that got us more tips. The guys loved our senses of humor and Leah and I made sure to sing straight to a few of them.

Jake was at Maxwell’s that night and I finally got a chance to talk to him once people started clearing out. He asked me how things were going with Marc since the night he went to the game with me. I told him that they were getting much better and he could tell that I was happy. He suggested that one day Marc and I double date with him and Brittany; it seemed too soon for that, so I told him that I would get back to him.

Last call was at one that night and once everyone was gone, we cleaned up quickly and got out of there. Of course, Leah spent the entire time teasing me about Marc. I found myself smiling with every word; I realized that everyone else was right, I had it bad for Marc and it was really possible that he felt the same way about me.

When I got home, I was exhausted and immediately changed into pajamas and went to bed. Just as I was closing my eyes, I heard my phone ringing; I looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Marc, he must have just landed in Toronto.

“Hey Marc.”

“Hey, how was work tonight?”

“Not bad, how was the flight?”

“Short, luckily. Did you tell Leah all about last night,” he asked with a smartass tone.

“I didn’t have to,” I responded with a giggle.

“What’s the supposed to mean?”

“You can figure it out for yourself.”

“You’re a pain in my ass,” he laughed.

“Right back at ya, babe.”

“You called me babe.”

“What are you gonna do about it?”

“If I was with you right now, you have no idea what I would do.”

“Oh really?”

The conversation continued like that and I wondered what I got myself in to. At the same time, I was excited to see what was to come.