You're a Scribbled out Name That My Love Keeps Writing Again and Again

The atmosphere in the Swan's residence was dense, uncomfortable and Sophia felt the familiar sense of awkwardness creeping in around her.

Bella had deliberately sat herself down between Jacob and Sophia, creating an unnecessary distance. Edward added to that distance, by sitting next to her, an amused smirk on his face while Jacob sighed, muttering under his breath that Bella should learn to grow up.

It was silent again until Charlie came lumbering into the room, his eyes locking in on Edward's hand which rested lightly on Bella's thigh. Edward smiled sheepishly, removing his hand and placing them both in his lap. Charlie raised an eyebrow, his eyes still scrutinizing Edward as he strolled over to the sofa, sprawling himself over it.
It was silent again as Charlie refused to look away from Edward and Bella. Sophia kept her eyes cast on the floor, becoming interested in the worn carpet. She stared at it, distinguishing patterns that resembled shapes of familiar objects.

Sophia finally looked up, swivelling her head to see Bella’s agitated expression. She turned to Charlie, who was still watching Edward like a hawk. Sophia sighed heavily.

"Seriously Dad? You’re one of those fathers?” She asked.

Charlie blinked in surprise, a strange shade of red creeping up his neck. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You can’t even leave them alone for 2 minutes. She’s 18 and it looks as if you’re ready to pounce if they do so much as hold hands.”

Jacob suppressed a laugh. Sophia couldn’t decipher if Charlie was embarrassed or angry. To her dismay it seemed both. She bit her lip, wishing she hadn’t opened her mouth.

“She’s got a point dad. You’re looking for any excuse to suddenly inflict curfews or keep me house bound.” Bella commented. “Can you not trust your own daughter?”

Charlie’s eyes narrowed. “You’re not the one I have difficulty trusting.” His ever questioning eyes roamed over to Edward once more.

“For heaven’s sake, Charlie.” Bella exclaimed. “I’m 18. I’m not under any parental guidance anymore. I can do what I want with whomever I want. So if you don’t like my boyfriend then that really should not be a problem for me or you.

Sophia shrunk back into the sofa; sensing things were becoming pretty ugly. Edward was trying to calm Bella without actually touching her and making the situation worse. Jacob glanced across to Sophia nervously. It was almost a reflex. An involuntary action to make sure she was okay.

“Oh don’t bring that up again Bella. You can’t keep using your age as a justification for everything. I’m still your father no matter how old you are. And right now you’re still living under my roof so that makes you my business and anyone associated with you my business.”

“Edward is my boyfriend, I’m the one that chose him to be and I’m the one who wants to spend the rest of my life with him so I don’t see how it’s any of your concern.”

“Of course it its Bella! I’m your father and I will always want what’s best for you. I disapprove Edward because he’s not what’s best for you Bella. He never will be.”

Edward flinched at the words, affecting him more than any one would ever know. Edward knew he would never be what’s best for Bella. He was constantly putting her in danger. He longed for her to realise that. Even though it would cause him pain behind imagination he couldn’t help but wish she saw him for who he was. A monster. He wished that she would realise this and be repulsed by his very being. Then he could leave knowing she wouldn’t miss him and she could live a happy, normal life. Edward knew this would mean he would hold no desire for his own life and result in ending his existence. But he would still be able to see the silver lining as Bella would be leading a human life. He loved her enough to let her be happy even if it meant he wouldn’t be in the picture. She would fall in love, have children, gradually age before her time came to an end. Just like she was intended to do before she came to Forks. Although he longed for this as it would be the best thing for her, it was also something he dreaded would happen.

But now, her future seemed mapped out for immortality. Edward felt incredibly selfish for giving her that option. The idea of taking away her mortal life almost sickened him. What sickened him more was the idea of him and Bella together eternally suddenly gave him burst of jubilation. In his eyes, the feeling felt like a sin as it was simply unfair to Bella. But he took comfort in the fact that it was what Bella was desperate for. If it was what she wanted then he was happy to oblige.

Bella glared at Charlie, fury evident in her eyes.

“Who are you to judge what’s best for me?! In case you haven’t noticed this is my life Charlie. And I know that Edward is and always will be perfect for me. There will never be anyone better for me than he is.”

“Really? Well you might want to re think that next time he leaves you. Remember what a mess you were Bella? That was all his doing. I sure wouldn’t portray that as perfect.”

Bella gasped. That was a low blow to both her and Edward. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to shut out the dark memories that were threatening to escape from the place in her mind where she had them firmly locked away. Edward’s stature was rigid, his hands balled into tight fists.

Charlie sighed heavily.

“That was low.” Bella muttered through her clenched teeth.

“I’m sorry Bella but you have to understand what that did to me as well.” He took a deep inhalation. “It killed me to see you like that. You were so depressed … it was as if you weren’t even there Bella. You were like a walking zombie, responding to nothing, barely functioning and only just keeping yourself alive. I couldn’t bear it if I had to see you like that again Bella. I couldn’t.” His voice cracked slightly at the end.

Sophia was glancing at everyone’s faces, each holding distress. The distress and unhappiness seem to radiate around the room, seeping through her. She bit her lip hard, not knowing what to do in the situation. She caught Jacob’s eyes who smiled reassuringly at her and it was as if her low feelings had suddenly been lifted.

Bella took a deep breath, reaching out for Edwards hand as if she needed to check he was still there. She felt his cool marble skin and instantly felt tranquillity, sighing contently when he squeezed her hand lightly.

“I understand Dad. I really do. But you have to understand this. Edward would never…” She trailed off, straining to get the words out without holding in the tenderness of the memories.

“Mr Swan.” Edward began, stepping in for Bella. “I know this may be impossible to understand but I left purely for the well being of Bella. I didn’t think my presence was healthy for her. But I understand now, that was the biggest mistake of my life and forever will be. But I promise you this; never again will I be foolish enough to leave Bella’s side unless of course, she tells me to do so. I will never again hurt her and I will never let her in harm’s way. I love your daughter more than words could ever describe and I understand that you may think it is typical teenage infatuation. But I know I love her and would give my life for her. And after what I did, I understand that you being her father would hinder my chances of ever gaining your trust again. I respect and understand your view on this completely but I beg of you. Can you find it in your heart to accept Bella and me? Not for my sake but for Bella’s?”

Charlie was speechless by Edward’s display of affection.

Bella bit her lip, waiting for Charlie to say something and unable to stop the gleeful feeling received from Edward’s words.

“We’ll see.” He finally said. He smiled feebly at Bella. “I really am sorry for bringing that up Bells. I never should of-”

“I know Dad. I’m sorry too.” She said, smiling back.

He nodded, not really knowing what was next after apologies. He turned abruptly, walking out of the room.

Bella looked at Edward, her eyes frantically searching his expressionless face. “I’m so sorry Edward. I didn’t-“

He put her finger to her lips, smiling softly “Shh silly Bella. It wasn’t your fault.”

Bella eye began to fill with tears that she had desperately tried to grasp on to. Edward pulled her into a hug, kissing the top of her head. His eyes locked with Sophia’s, anxiety swimming in the blue irises. Her eyes searched his face for an answer, confusion and worry for her sister making her stand up and demand an explanation.

But Edward shook his head slowly, mouthing “She’s okay.”

Sophia sat down wearily; still looking doubtfully at Edward as he gently turned around with Bella still in his arms, and walked out the room. Sophia could hear his light footsteps as he made his way upstairs.

Sophia looked desperately at the door, biting her lip like crazy.

“Are you okay?” Jacob asked from the other end of the sofa, gazing at his imprint with concern.

“I’m fine.” Her voice came too high, almost as if she was about to break into song.

Jacob scooted forward until he was directly in front of her, ducking his head so she was forced to look into his beautiful eyes.

“Don’t lie Sophia. You can talk to me if you want. I know that was a bit crazy.”

Sophia stared at his face, memorizing his features. She watched the way his eyebrows pulled together with anxiety and the way his full lips, completely wasted on boy, were pulled down slightly at the corners.

“I’ve just never seen that side of my dad or sister before. I’ve never seen them so angry…so sad.” She looked down, away from the eyes that were making her thoughts come spilling from her mind.

It drove Jacob mad to see her like this. He wanted nothing more to wrap his arms around her, to make her feel perpetually protected. He wanted to be able to whisper in her ear and tell her he loved her and that he would do anything for her. He wanted to be able to tell her that he would run away with her, right now if that was what she wanted. He wanted to be able tell her that they could escape to a place, free from worry and discontent.

But he knew he couldn’t. He had only just met her and he knew his feelings for her were not yet reciprocated. She was his imprint but that didn’t mean they dove head first into love. It was still a relationship that would take its time.

“Everyone was just holding in a lot of frustration. Something just happened to trigger a button that released it. It was a bit intense…but apart from that it was just a typical family argument. No need to be sad.” Jacob said, his voice becoming playful and trying to encourage a smile.

“Do you think I was that trigger?” She asked quietly.

“No, Sophia of course not.” He took her hand suddenly, not able to resist physically comforting her. “Don’t even say that. I happen to know, your arrival has been the best thing to happen in a long time.”

Sophia blushed, at Jacob’s heartfelt words and at the fact he was holding her hand. His russet skin was very warm, radiating heat to the extent of abnormality.

“And besides, who needs to pay for cable when you have a family like that?”

Sophia laughed, taking the opportunity to remove her hand from his tactfully. Jacob smiled at his successful attempt to cheer her up but he couldn’t help but crave for her skin again, the feeling of her hand in his so natural and whole.

Sophia shuffled backwards on the sofa, creating a distance once again. She leant back against the arm of the chair, extremely aware of Jacob’s eyes watching her. This disabled any chance of her relaxing and letting her mind wander.

“I don’t really watch a lot of TV anyway.” She said suddenly, picking up their conversation.

“Oh? So what do you do in your spare time?” Jacob asked.

Sophia shrugged.

“You must do something. I mean I don’t know what I would do without TV.” Jacob said teasingly. “Then again, there’s always the option of food.”

“I spend most of my time...wasting time i guess. That’s always been my flaw, head in the clouds and not in the books. Teachers always used to comment about how I was never had the capability of staying on track. I was always “away with the fairies” as they would say. It really used to drive Renee up the wall. She would be talking to me but I would be completely oblivious to her words, my mind somewhere else entirely. You know, when I was little I used to be a compulsive liar. My imagination got the best of me and I couldn’t differentiate between reality and what I was simply making up in my head. I was always telling bizarre fairytale stories as if they had happened to me.” She stopped, realising she was rambling on about her childhood and It was getting a bit too personal for her liking. She looked at Jacob, expecting him to be looking at her incongruously.

But his lips were turned up in amusement and interest evident on his face.

“Carry on. I’m just getting into it.” He said, his smile growing wider.

Sophia shook her head, glad she didn’t have the same intensity of blood that rose to her cheeks as her sister did.

“I’m rambling. It’s a stupid story. I’ll shut up now.” She said quickly.

Jacob leant forward. “Not at all. I’m intrigued. Continue with the story.” He urged, genuinely seeming interesting.

But Sophia wasn’t prepared to delve deeper into the memories her odd childhood yet alone speak them out loud. She didn’t want Jacob to think she was a complete lunatic.

“I draw.” She blurted out, keen to change the subject.

“What?” Jacob asked, laughing at her sudden outburst.

“I draw. You asked what I did in my spare time… I draw. I paint. Well not so much recently…” She trailed off.

“Oh, cool.” He looked puzzled for a moment. “Not so much recently?”

“Well, I loved drawing. It gave me a chance to release my imagination and put it onto paper. It was a healthy escape from my story telling, I guess. There’s just something about the freedom in drawing that appealed to me. When I was little I had my heart set on pursuing my dream of becoming an artist. I was determined it would be my career. Whereas Renee saw it as a hobby. A pretty, harmless hobby. A hobby that would get me nowhere in life as she so rightly put it. I guess I grew up and realised she was right. I needed to get my head out of the clouds and focus on studying. That would get me somewhere. There’s no use in drawing pretty little pictures.” Her tone grew bitter at the end as she quoted Renee.

She looked at Jacob, realising she had said too much again. He was just so easy to talk to.

“I know I’m not the greatest person at giving advice but I do know that if something makes you happy then you shouldn’t give up on it. Especially if it’s just because of one person’s judgment on the matter.” He smiled tenderly at her, setting off coils of pleasant nerves in her stomach.

“So will I get to look at any of your masterpieces?”

“Absolutely not.” She said firmly.

He frowned, pursing his lips into an adorable pout. “Whhhhyyy?” he asked, drawing the word out into a childish whine.

“My drawings are private to me. It would be weird. Like you reading my diary.”

“You have a diary?” He asked. His eyes lit up and his tone was too excited for Sophia’s liking.

“N-no.” She said, cursing herself mentally for stammering. She never was a good liar.

A slow, wicked grin grew on his face as his eyes twinkled mischievously.

“Jacob, you’re not-”She was cut off when a long, bellow cry of a wolf was heard, yowling into the sky. The way the deep howl sliced across the silence left an eerie feel in the air.

Jacob had noticeably tensed, his head tilted towards the sound as if straining to hear more.

“Jacob? What’s wrong?” Sophia asked, suddenly sitting up straight.

Jacob was yelling profanities in his head, not at all caring if the bloodsucker upstairs heard. Why did the pack have to ruin his moment with Sophia? He realised he had been gone for hours, turning up to warn Bella but ending up imprinting and inevitably spending time with her beautiful sister. Alarms bells must have been going off in Sam’s head, the only logical reason for his prolonged absence being that he had gotten into a scuffle with Edward over Bella. Jacob wouldn’t be able to get to them in time to explain before they came seeking Edward and the Cullen’s out. He had to phase, giving them an insight of his mind to what had happened. But this meant abruptly leaving his imprint, Sophia, without a proper explanation.

“I have to go.” Jacob said sternly, bolting upwards and heading out the room. Sophia followed him.

“What?” She blinked a few times in confusion. “Err, okay. There’s no need to be so hasty Jacob!” She called when he all but ran to the front door.

He stopped, turning round to smile apologetically. “I’m sorry. I just remembered somewhere I have to urgently be and I’m going to be in serious trouble if I don’t get there in time.”

“Oh, okay. I understand.” Sophia said, wrinkling her nose slightly in perplexity. Jacob’s smile grew, noting how cute and childlike she looked at that moment.

Sophia watched as he jogged down the street, turning his head and waving. “See you later!” He called.

Sophia waved back, shutting the door and leaning back against it. She took breath, blowing up her bangs in mock relief. What exactly did he mean by later?

About an hour later (an hour spent by wandering around the house trying to find some source of fun to kill her boredom) Sophia had ended up in her room, staring out the window. The view had inspired her. It was raining, the angry grey clouds obstructing any light from the sun. The setting was dreary, dull but mixed with the densely packed trees, hiding all sorts of life in the shadows, it became beautiful to Sophia.

Remembering her earlier conversation with Jacob, she reached under her bed where she had chucked her art materials, thinking she wouldn’t touch them again. She took out the tin of pencils, running her fingers along them rhythmically. But she didn’t feel she could do the scenery justice with simply pencils. She searched around, fishing out her paints and her sketchpad. With a satisfied grin, she took her resources and set them down on the window ledge. She drew back the curtains, creating space and hauled herself onto the window ledge. She drew her knees up, resting her sketchbook on them. With paintbrush in hand she set to work.

After about 20 minutes of looking up, to gaze outside the window, then craning back down over her work, her neck was starting to ache. But there was another sensation, stronger than the throbbing in her neck. The sensation that someone was watching her. She couldn’t seem to shake off the feeling. The feeling that eyes were boring into her figure and making her hairs stand on end.

Sophia knew these instincts came from millions of years back, when humans were primitive and survived by hunting. The sense of someone watching you was a skill humans had to acquire to survive. This awareness stayed with human beings over the years, a fact Sophia knew. She put the feeling down do unfamiliar surroundings, bound to make her on edge.

But the feeling seem to grow, becoming stronger and uncomfortable, creeping over her body and setting her senses on fire. It got to the point where she was too afraid to look up, keeping her eyes on her painting but not really conscious of what she was painting.

She urged herself to look up, just one peek to set her mind at rest. After a few seconds of debating, she willed herself to lift her head and look out the window.

Beneath her window, nearly hidden beside two towering trees, stood a figure. Sophia could scarcely make out the outline of the huge shape but she did undoubtedly see the gleam of eyes. Staring straight at her.

She gasped in fright, her hand flying out involuntary and knocking over the cup of water she had used for her paints. She toppled off the window ledge, landing with a thud. She froze on the ground, unable to register any pain as her heart thumped loudly against her chest. Her breathing was fast, shallow, her mind in panic mode.

“Sophia!” She heard her sister call from her room, the sound of footsteps approaching the closed door.

“I’m alright Bella. I just tripped over my suitcase. You should know all too well what that feels like.” Her playfully jibe at Bella’s clumsiness helped calm Sophia down.

"That's what i get for being concerned? Next time i'll leave you to suffer.” Bella called playfully, the footsteps retreating followed by a quiet laugh from Edward.

Sophia pulled herself up slowly, wincing slightly from the angle she had fallen and the side of her torso she had landed on. That was going to leave a mark in the morning. She looked down, keeping her eyes on the windowledge, her long hair hiding her face. She took a few deep breaths before cautiously peering out from under her hair.

It was gone.

She pressed her face up against the glass, her eyes scanning the ground below her.

No shape. No figure. No eyes.

Sophia pursed her lips, wandering if she was imagining things. After all she did have an overactive mind. She laughed shakily, looking down at her trembling hands and trying to calm her heart that was thumping agaisnt her chest.

She sighed, scooping down to pick up the items she had flung over the window. She picked up hr paints and brush, placing them on the windowledge again.

She bent down to sort out the spilled water but froze.

Her sketchpad was open, a few pages forward from her painting. A mixture of dark paints, such as the black, greys and dark greens had fallen onto the page when she had knocked them off in fright. The paints on the page were running due to the water being spilt on them. And the image the running paints had made caused a shudder to roll down Sophia's spine.

Two misshapen circles had been created, with lines running down the centres, smudged and blotchy but still clear as if they had been deliberately painted.

Two eyes stared up at Sophia from her page.

She was frozen, staring at the page in both terror and marvel. Her senses kicked in and she hurriedly picked up the book, tearing the page out viciously and scrunching it up tightly. She hurled the paper into the trash but was not able to shake the image out of her mind, the eyes staring at her from within the basket.

She stormed over to the wastepaper basket, fishing out the paper. She opened her window as wide as it would go, tearing the paper up and sprinkling it out in the dull sky. It fluttered down like confetti, some parts being whisked away by the wind.

She shut her window in satisfaction though her whole body was shaking uncontrollably. It was just a coincidence, she kept telling herself. Perhaps her mind was in a heighten state of fear, immediately making the image out to be eyes when to anyone else, it would have been random splatters of paint. But the image stayed in her head. And the image looked remarkably like eyes.

“Knock knock.”

Sophia jumped at her sister’s voice. She hurriedly stashed any mess under her bed and straightened out her clothes that had rumpled from the fall.

“C-come in.” She called.

Bella opened the door, smiling warmly at her sister.

“You okay? That sounded like quite a fall earlier.”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine. A bit sore but I’m fine.” Sophia wondered if her words were coming out too quick, too strained. They seemed to be calm enough to convince Bella.

“I guess the clumsy fault runs in the family.” Bella said, earning a weak smile from Sophia.

Bella’s eyes were caught by the open sketchbook, lying on the floor. “Oh, wow! You did this Sophia?”

Sophia bit her lip as her sister picked the book up, admiring her picture. “Yeah, it was just a quick thing. Nothing special.” She mumbled.

“Your modesty is admirable.” Bella said with a grin. “It’s good to see you getting back into the creative swing of things Sophia. I know you stopped drawing to make Renee happy but what’s the point if you’re not happy?”

Sophia nodded, hearing the whole “happy” speech once too many times already.

Bella placed the book down, sensing Sophia was keen to steer the conversation away her sudden burst of creativity.

“I’m staying round Edward’s tonight.” Bella said suddenly.

“Oh. Is this because of the whole dispute with Dad?”

Bella grimaced. “I want to let things cool a bit.”

“Well staying round Edward’s isn’t the best idea. Wasn’t he the source of the little squabble you had?”

“That’s why I’m telling Charlie it’s much needed girl time between me and Alice. Charlie’s a sucker whenever Alice is involved.”

“Isabella Swan! I never knew you were so scheming.” Sophia said, gasping dramatically.

“You know me. A real bad girl.” Bella said, only half teasing. If her Sophia knew what really went on in Bella’s life, she would think twice before giving her sister the goody two shoes persona.

“Oh, and I have school tomorrow, which Alice is so kindly driving me to. So I won’t see you until late afternoon.”

“Well, you have fun…Wait, hold on a minute.”Sophia said suddenly, stopping her sister from leaving. “Don’t I have school tomorrow then as well?”

“Actually, your arrival here was very last minute and Charlie is still working out the kinks into getting you enrolled. But don’t worry; you’ll be registered soon enough.”

Sophia nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

Bella waved to her sister before walking out of the room, to meet Edward at the top of the stairs.

Sophia sighed heavily, picking up her sketchbook and snapping it shut, taking once more glance out of the window to see nothing but rivulets of rain, trailing down the glass.