Never Look Back

“Please?” Jordyn asked nicely.

“No.” Jon shook his head.

“Pretty please?”

“Not happening.”

“But what if I-“

“But what if you help me bring the groceries in?” Jon suggested, making Jordyn frown as he took the car keys from her.

“I need to practice!” She squeaked with a frown, following him out to the garage as he stuck the keys down into his pockets.

“First of all, you can’t even take your test for another eight months, so I’m not too concerned if you get practice right now.” Jon began, a sour look coming across Jordyn’s face. “Don’t look at me like that.” He insisted without even glancing back at her. “And second of all, you are not driving this car around to do your practicing in.” He motioned to his customized Mercedes two-seater that was practically his baby.

“Does that mean I can get my own car?” She asked in a small whisper of a question, trying not to upset Papa bear.

“Jord, how about we just try and get through this year and then we’ll talk when the time comes?” He had a slight plead to his voice.

“Oh, Cheetos.” Jordyn grinned, snatching up the grocery bags. “Does that mean Patrick is coming over?” She asked, seeing that there were two bags, crunchy for Patrick and puffs for Jordyn.

“Not really sure, he might come over after dinner.” Jon nodded, “hang out for a bit before we get all busy again.” He sighed; reminding them both that the regular season would be starting in about a week.

“What time will Amy be here?” Jordyn asked of Jon’s rather serious girlfriend. They had gotten together shortly after the beginning of the season last year and somehow she managed to stick around through all of the missed time. Jordyn loved Amy, she was smart and beautiful and she knew that she loved her Dad for more than the obvious reasons that other women threw themselves at Jon for. Amy also happened to be an amazing cook, taking a lot of pressure off of Jon who had been making damn near all of Jordyn’s meals for the past four years.

“In about an hour, so if you could run through the family room and pick up your backpack and all that, I would really love it.” Jon commented.

“I already did.” Jordyn fought the urge to stick her tongue out at her Dad. “Grandma said she’s gonna mail us some cookies.” She added, glancing at her phone quickly. Her new phone that was also her new best friend.

“Did she text you?” Jon asked, still getting used to the fact that his mother was texting anyone.

“Yup.” Jordyn nodded, helping stack up yogurts and sandwich meat into the fridge. “And she said I could bring a friend up for when we go to visit in November.” She smiled excitedly.

“Don’t you think that’s something you should ask me?” Jon asked, pausing his ministrations to look over at Jordyn who looked like a dear caught in the headlights.

“I thought you wouldn’t mind.” She whispered quietly. “I mean, you’re going to bring Amy, right?” She asked, tilting her head.

“Yes, but that’s different. Amy is my girlfriend.” Jon answered with an obvious look.

The next word to come from Jordyn’s lips made his chest tighten and the skin under his eyebrows to start blazing with heat as fifty hairs on his head turned silver.

“Well…”

“Well what?” He asked, spinning around quickly to look down at her disapprovingly.

“Well what if I brought someone who… if I was a boy would be my girlfriend?” She tried to work her words around using the obvious term that was the last thing Jon wanted to hear.

“Well if you weren’t a boy, and you were a girl – which you are – then that person would be your boyfriend.” He struggled with the final word. “And you know our rule.” He reminded.

“But Dylan is just a friend that’s a boy!” Jordyn frowned, huffing as she closed cabinets. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“I’ll think about it.” Jon muttered, finishing up as he stuck a few steaks in the freezer. “So for next week, the usual procedure.” He reminded. “I’ll pick you up from school on Tuesday, we’ll get some sushi, then naptime, then off to the Center.” He added.

“I know, I know, I know.” Jordyn sighed, resting her elbows on the countertop of the kitchen island. Her eyes closed as she sighed, feeling Jon’s hands on her back and rubbing the tension from her shoulder.

“Hey what’s the matter?” He asked. “Is it school?” He asked, “is everything okay?”

“It’s fine, I’m just tired.” She mumbled, turning around and pressing her face into his chest. “I could use some JJ time.” She relished the feeling of his warm skin from under his t-shirt. JJ time was something she or Jon could call when they needed time away and liked to escape for a few days. These were the times they liked to head up to Winnipeg or back to St. Lucia to their Neverland.

“Maybe we can take a little day trip out for a while. We just won’t have time for anywhere else until the holidays if we want to stay more than one day.” He rubbed her back up and down.

“Being a sophomore sucks.” She muttered. “It’s hard and I don’t want to do it. I’m scared to start looking at colleges.” She added.

“Oh, Jord.” Jon sighed with a smile. “Things will be just fine. Sophomore year will be over before you know it and we can look at any and every school until you find one you like.” He insisted. “If these are the most of your worries, you’ve got it made.” He finished, kissing the top of her head. “How about you head upstairs and take a nap, Amy will be over soon and she’ll make some good dinner.”

Jordyn nodded, giving Jon a hug before he could turn her around and send her out of the kitchen, putting the last few groceries away.

He knew the stress on Jordyn’s shoulders was mounting. Fifteen was a tough age, she was growing up, her friends were flakey, classes were hard, she was driving once and a while, and… boys.

He only hoped he would be able to help her through it all.

•••

“Not to toot my own horn, but that might be my best one yet.” Amy Wren, Jon’s girlfriend of just over a year grinned as she helped bring in dishes from the dining room table, making Jordyn giggle. She had made her mother’s smoked Gouda Mac and cheese with bacon recipe, a popular dish in the Toews home.

“Everything you make is better than the best.” Jon winked exaggeratedly, making them all laugh. “But it was really good, Jord and I got the dishes.” He insisted, taking the plates from her hand and kissing her lips softly, making Jordyn blush. Jordyn loved Amy and Jon together, Amy was so fun and nice and she would do things that Jon necessarily didn’t love to do like going to the mall and seeing romantic comedies. Plus, when Jon went away on trips for hockey, Amy would sometimes pick Jordyn up and they would get manicures and pedicures followed by a lunch at their favorite Mexican place.

“Oh honey, Jordyn helped make dinner, so therefore we cooked, you clean.” Amy smiled, giving Jon a sweet pat on the cheek, making Jordyn giggle and Jon pout.

“You stole my partner!” He insisted.

“You can handle it.” Jordyn grinned, setting some dishes on the counter and flipping on the tap to the sink. Amy sunk down into the couch in the family room after flipping on the gas fireplace, patting the space beside her for Jordyn to join. Jordyn was quick to rest her head against Amy’s shoulder, leaning into her as Amy’s fingers immediately began to play with Jordyn’s long, wavy tresses that had lightened over the years.

Amy crossed her long legs on the ottoman, their sock-covered feet clashing together as Jon finished up the dishes, loading some in the dishwasher and filling others with water and soap to soak overnight.

“You’re done tomorrow by four, right?” Amy asked Jordyn, speaking of her lacrosse practice that ran late on Mondays.

“Yes, four o’clock, because I get to decide when it’s done.” Jordyn finished with a maniacal laugh. “Being Captain rocks.” She sighed contently.

“So I’m thinking after four, I can pick you up, we’ll swing by and pick up some stuff to make your Dad’s favorite before the big game.” She smiled.

“Dad and I have a dinner date tomorrow night, actually.” Jordyn replied with a shrug. “We always get sushi before home opener.” She added.

“Oh, okay.” Amy said, unaffected. “Well maybe next week, then?” She suggested.

“Yeah for sure.” Jordyn nodded as Jon joined in on the couch beside Jordyn on the other side of the couch, slinging his arm around his two girls.

“Hey Amy? Quick question.” Jordyn piped up.

“Lay it on me, sister.” She replied.

“What would you think if I brought a boy to Winnipeg next month?” She asked, tilting her head up to her father’s girlfriend, making Jon roll his eyes.

“What, you mean you’re bringing Dylan?” Amy asked, making Jon’s eyes practically pop out of his head.

“You know about Dylan? I didn’t know about Dylan! Who is Dylan and why don’t I know about him?” Jon ranted off, making both Amy and Jordyn keep from grinning.

“You never asked.” Jordyn shrugged.

“I ask you all the time about… y’know…” He trailed, still struggling to say the word ‘boys’ in front of her. That was Patrick’s job.

“Yes, you ask me about boyfriends, but like I said before, I don’t have a boyfriend, so therefore, Dylan did not come up.” Jordan explained with her pointer finger in the air.

“Well fine, Jordyn, tell me about your friends that are boys.” Jon said, looking down at her with interest, making Amy laugh.

“Well I have lots of friends that are boys.” Jordyn replied. “You’re going to have to be more specific." Jon sighed, his eyes rolling back into his skull for a moment as he rubbed a hand over his face before looking back down to Jordyn who was smiling sweetly.

“Fine, tell me about Dylan.” He insisted, the word tasting like acid on his tongue.

“Well, I think you would like him a lot.” Jordyn smiled excitedly. “He goes to MPA and we have Biology together.” She replied. “You two have a lot in common, actually, he plays hockey – “ Jon’s brain shut down at the last three words. As much as he loved his baby girl, he had one main hope for her – that she stayed as far away from any hockey players her age at any and all costs. Sure, Jon had always been a fairly responsible and mature guy, even when he was fifteen, but he knew how other/all guys were at that age. And teenage hockey players were about as dirty, raunchy, disgusting, and degrading as they came. The kind of guy he didn’t want coming near his Jordyn.

Why couldn’t she find a nice guy who was in pep band or matheletes?

“Dad?” Jordyn snapped him out of his thoughts. “So he can come over?” She asked.

“Uh.” Jon replied intelligently. “I don’t know, Jordyn, we’re going to get really busy pretty quick and…”

“Too busy for friends?” She asked, unimpressed and with a cocked eyebrow. Jon looked to Amy for help but she merely shrugged, giving him an apologetic look.

“I’ll think about it.” He reiterated his favorite new phrase.

“Dad.” Jordyn whined. “It’s not even a big deal. I barely talk to boys, most girls in my grade are already having – “

“Who’s ready for dessert?” Amy hopped up from the couch, grabbing Jordyn’s arm and tugging her into the kitchen along with her, just as Jon’s face crumpled in a ghastly horror as if someone had punched him square in the nose. “Are you trying to give the poor guy a coronary?” Amy’s cheeks slowly turned back to a normal color from a serious blush.

“He is just so naïve sometimes.” Jordyn sighed.

“He just loves you and wants you to be his baby girl forever, the idea of you with boys keeps him awake at night.” Amy replied. “Just humor him and cut the man a little slack.” She advised as she pulled out bowls for spumoni.

Later that night, Jordyn was in her bathroom, getting ready for bed, brushing her teeth after changing into her pajamas consisting of a pair of shorts and one of Jon’s old t-shirts that hung to her knees.

“Hey baby doll, ready for bed?” Jon asked, leaning in her doorway with his arms folded across his chest. Jordyn still needed to see him before she fell asleep and right when she woke up when possible, something that they had been doing every day for almost five years. Jordyn nodded with a smile, tying her hair up on top of her head with a binder before hopping in bed, clutching a worn and overused stuffed penguin named Doug to her chest. “Toes are set.” Jon informed, tucking her blankets all around her before sitting on the side of the bed. “Ready for school? Backpack is packed, lacrosse gear is Febreezed?” He asked. “Your lunch is sitting on the top shelf in the fridge, I bought some GoGurt today.” He said with an accomplished smile.

“Sweet, thanks.” She smiled as he brushed her bangs back from her face tenderly.

“How’s life? Life is good?” He asked with a crooked grin.

“Life is great.” Jordyn replied. “How about you?” She asked.

“Never better.”