Never Look Back

“Quit eating all the good ones!” Jon laughed as Jordyn picked through the large bowl of popcorn settled between them as they sat together on the couch to watch TV – eating all of the especially yellow pieces with more butter flavoring.

“No.” Jordyn giggled as he tried to block her hands from the bowl before grabbing both of them and holding her fingers snugly within one of his great big paws. She wiggled around for a moment before huffing and pouting up at him with big eyes.

“Yeah, yeah.” He shook his head, letting her free before she could reach in and stuff her mouth with popcorn. They were playing a House marathon on TBS and the show just so happened to be a favorite they shared together. “You’re making me dizzy.” He insisted with as quickly as Jordyn flipped through the channels just so see what else was on before the show could start.

“Oh, TMZ!” Jordyn squealed, making Jon groan.

“This crap is going to rot your brain.” He insisted.

“I just want to catch the wrap-up of the week.” She shushed him, stuffing her mouth with another handful of popcorn.

“Coming up, the squeaky-clean image of DC’s new favorite leading man tainted by an escort service?” Jon tried to swipe the remote from Jordyn’s hand as the disgusting show put up a photo of Jon leaving a DC club in his black pea coat and pink cheeks with a few of his teammates. “More on Jonathan Toews’ coming up after the break – including the girl who tells-all about her night with the Washington Capital.” The show cut to a break and there was dead silence in the family room of the Toews home. Not a second later did Jon’s cell phone begin to ring and Jordyn safely assumed that they wouldn’t be watching House later.

Retreating back into her bedroom after Jon disappeared into the study, she pulled up her laptop after locking her door.

“Jonathan Toews… scandal.” She mumbled, typing the terms into Google, something she usually avoided, but she need to know just exactly what she was dealing with this time. Something irked her about her Dad’s response to what was said on the televison. “Ex-Blackhawk gets his freak on.” She scrunched her face at the name of the article but clicked it nonetheless.

The first thing to pop up was a photo of a gorgeous woman who was probably around twenty, dark brown, stick-straight hair, impossibly dark brown eyes and an almost exotic look to her. Jessica Phillips, model and entertainer from the DC area claims to have spent a night with the Capitals alternate and prepares for a tell-all.” Jordyn read to herself, slamming her laptop shut as Jon knocked on her door.

“Can I come in?” Jon asked hesitantly after finding her door locked. Jordyn stood, opening her door for him as he walked in and took a seat on her neatly made bed, running a hand through his hair. “People are going to be saying a lot of things soon and I just want you to know – ”

“Is it true?” Jordyn asked right off the bat, embarrassed that she even needed to. Jon had a hard time making eye contact before nodding.

“There’s merit to it.” He nodded somberly. They both sat in a tense silence as Jon avoided Jordyn’s stare while a thousand things ran through her head.

“But… but what about Amy? And getting married? Did you break up?” She asked in a flurry, her heart beginning to pound in her chest.

“Amy and I haven’t broken up yet, but I don’t think we will be getting married.” He muttered, focusing on his folded hands in front of him as they suddenly became the most interesting thing in the entire world.

“You cheated?” Jordyn asked, both of them able to hear her heart breaking in her words. “But… but you were supposed to marry Amy, and – and we were going to be a family..” She choked out before tears could break the barrier of her eyelashes.

“It was a mistake that I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life.” Jon said, feeling his heart sink into his stomach at the sight of Jordyn’s tears. “I just need you to be strong the next few days because I don’t know what’s going to be said about us and you can’t look or read into any of it.” He insisted. “I just need you to be…” He shook his head, at a loss for words.

“More than I am.” She finished in a whisper.

“No.” He shook his head before crossing the room, kneeling in front of her as she looked down at him from her desk chair. “Never. You are the strongest person I know, Jordyn, and it’s my fault that you have to pay for my mistakes.” He added. “I know you’re probably furious with me and upset and sad but…”

“Family sticks together.” She added, Jon’s eyes searching hers for a split second.

“Right.” He nodded.

“Don’t worry Dad, I’ll always pick you.” She stated, not sure if it was reassuring or something that sounded forced, but htat was the truth, Jordyn would always pick Jon first.

•••

Jon was right when he said the next few days would be rough. His publicist ending up paying off Jessica from doing her tell-all, but the damage had already been inflicted. People had made jeering signs at games, shouted things at Jordyn as she tried to walk into school, and then came the lowest low two day after the news had broken.

Jordyn had sat with Jon in his room as he fingered the engagement ring Amy had sent back to him with no note. Coming that quickly – she must have had it sent over night. She had rubbed his back as he cried softly, something she had only see him do maybe once or twice in her life and couldn’t help from crying herself.

That was a new point in the Toews’ life. They had one another, and that’s what they needed.

Jon’s recent events had also brought a circus upon Jordyn’s personal life, now more than ever, people were insisting upon and relatonship between she and the Capital’s rookie, Tyler Jones. Jordyn trooped on, going about her daily life and remembering what Jon had told her, they live on attention, if you don’t give them attention, they’ll go away.

That night, the Capitals were playing against the New Jersey Devils, and Jordyn felt at home now more than ever when they pulled up to the Verizon Center. Dressed in her customary dark jeans, jersey and curled hair, she wanted the public to know they were doing just fine despite all the mud they were slinging at she and her father. Vaguely aware of the photographers, she took Jon’s hand in hers as they entered the lower player’s concourse, making their way into the locker room where they would commence in their usual routine. She would sit in his stall as he taped his stick, they’d share a Powerade on the bench, then he would walk her up to the suite for the game.

“For cotton candy.” He said, handing her a five and dropping a kiss to her head. Jordyn nodded before exchanging pleasantries with the wives and family members that frequented the box as well, giggling as Finn, Mark Hendrick’s five-year-old son nearly jumped on her. The little kid had taken a real shine to Jordyn and liked to sit with her at the games.

“Hey Finn!” She laughed, tossing Maria, Mark’s wife a smile as she carried Finn down to the seats in front of the suite. They shared a pleasant conversation about his pre-school’s field trip to the petting zoo and when he was just getting to the good part about feeding the goats, a presence sunk into the seat beside her as Finn adjusted himself in his lap to greet the new friend.

“Hi Tyler!” He cheered, showing off the gap in his smile.

“Hey champ!” Tyler grinned, ruffling Finn’s hair softly. “Keeping Jordyn company?” He asked, winking at the young blonde beside him.

“Okay!” Finn giggled, laying his head against Jordyn’s shoulder with a blush. Finn loved Jordyn’s attention and his Dad teased him relentlessly about his little crush on Jordyn. “Why aren’t you skating down there?” He asked curiously.

“My ankle is bothering me and the coach thought it would be a good idea if I sat this game out.” Tyler explained with a sweet smile. “But we get to hang out, huh? That’s pretty sweet.”

“We happened to be having a perfectly nice conversation about his field-trip to the petting zoo.” Jordyn replied, refusing to make eye-contact with Tyler while Finn busied himself with the simple ‘Toews’ necklace that laid on her collarbone. Tyler nodded, knowing when someone was trying to make a point.

A fair amount of time had passed and while the teams took to the ice for the first period, Finn made his way back to his Mama so he could take a short nap in her embrace.

“So are you never going to talk to me again?” Tyler asked, crossing his ankle over his knee. Jordyn chose not to reply, but focus her energies on watching the game as it got off to a rough start, the Capitals messing up on simple things that were keeping the puck in their zone. “Because that could make the next five years pretty awkward.” He added.

“You don’t know that we’ll be here for five years.” She sniped back immediately, furrowing her brow. “We want to get out of this God-forsaken place as soon as possible.” She nearly snarled, not caring that this was his home town or what he may think of her statement.

“I’d bet my career on the face that you’ll be here at least another five years. And just because there are some shitty people in DC, doesn’t mean it’s a bad place to live.” He pointed out. “I’m sorry that all your family is being strung out for people to stare at.” He added sympathetically.

“Yeah, I bet you’re real torn up.” She shook her head, the weight of the world teetering on her back and Tyler’s comments making it settle between her shoulder blades, the lump in her throat. All this time staying strong for her Dad and she didn’t really have much time for herself. School was impossible with the rumors and whispers swirling in the halls, going home was tense, and now, going to the game wasn’t even a place to escape.

She wouldn’t give him the gratitude of seeing her cry. She wouldn’t give anyone that gratitude.

Getting up from the chair, she quickly moved as fast as possible up the small flight of stairs, brushing out of the box, not sure of where exactly she was going, but she was going there. Finding herself a nook on the executive level where she assumed a pay phone used to be between the men and women’s bathroom. Standing there, she pretended to be typing away on her cell phone as a few strangers walked by, but felt no shame in pressing her fore-head into the wall, closing her eyes and letting a few tears slip out.

“I really wish you would stop running away from me.” She didn’t move upon seeing his voice. “Come here.” He insisted, and for once, she didn’t fight him, letting his arms wrap around her as she cried softly into his chest. “It’ll be okay.” He insisted. “No one really cares about hockey players anyway.” He tried to get her to smile.

“I do.” She sniffled. “I know that Dad messed up, but I’m tired of all this crap.” She felt terribly embarrassed as she let out a loud hiccup, not exactly the cutest sound in the world. “I just want to go home.” She whispered. “I just want to go home.”

“I know you do, Jord.” He insisted, brushing one of his hands down the back of her hair. “You’re just going to have to make the best of this.” He insisted. “It sucks right now, I’ve never had to really leave my home town, but I can imagine it really blows.” He added. “Just… just try.” He insisted. “Maybe, you’d let me show you around? Show you the good parts of this place?” He asked, going out on a limb. Jordyn weighed her options in her head. She could continue hating her life at the moment or go with Tyler and let him take her mind off of things.

“Okay.” She sniffled, pulling back as the scruff on his chin, tickled her temple softly.

“Okay?” He asked, letting his thumb swipe under her eye to catch the salty track of an alligator tear.

“But you can’t make me like it.”

“But I can try.”