A Silver Lining

Light shone through my curtains waking my up from my slumber, my bed had never felt this comfortable all night. Crawling out of the bed, my feet slid across the cool carpet. Stumbling down the hall I found my way to the bathroom, after splashing water on my face I tied my hair up into a lose pony tail.

My grandmother was in the kitchen sitting at the ancient wooden table scanning some coupon books. Pulling out a chair I sank down into it, “Morning gran. Got any coffee?” Gran looked up with a smile, “Of course I do ill get you some. You just missed your grandfather.”

Setting a mug between my palms I held it up to my lips blowing on the coffee cautiously. “So are you going to the carnival today?” She flipped the page of her coupon book. I bit my lip, “Oh, I didn’t know the carnival was this week. Hmm, maybe ill go down there.” She smiled, “That’s good. So how is the painting going?” I sighed, “Working on it, I just haven’t been inspired yet.” Pondering it for a moment she responded, “You will. Your just like your grandfather, if you set your mind to something you’ll get it.”

The pier was more crowded than usual, the carnival brings people from all over sometimes. Something about our carnivals makes it more enjoyable, the Ferris wheel was blocking the illuminating sun. Little booths were lined across the sides of the pier, from a distance I could see different shows going on. There were magicians, clowns, and even some guitarists.
~ ~ ~
The sun was already leaving the horizon ready to bright up some other part of the world. James caught my gaze and raced over to me with a grin, “Hey! I didn’t think I would see you here.” I replied impassively, “Likewise, so what are you guys up to?” James glanced over at the crowd of kids then back to me, “Well we were just playing some games. Wanna join us?” I hesitated, “Err well, sure why not.” “Great!” James smiled dragging me over to the booths.

We made a stop at the booth with zillions of stuffed animals, the object of this rip-off game was to knock off all of the bottles with two tries. If you succeed, then you get the stuffed delight. The worker racked up a couple of balls for James as he went against himself.

Two of the bottles fell off of the table leaving one more, the worker sat on the counter lifelessly watching and waiting for his next move. James smirked, “This one’s for you Zoë.”

James tossed the ball at the bottle completely missing it, not touching it the slightest. The worker snickered to himself while James’ smirk soon faded when he realized what had happened. I shrugged, “Don’t worry about it I suck at these anyway.” The worker smiled, “What animal would you like?” James rolled his eyes, “Ha-ha very funny I know I lost.” Then James walked off assuming I followed his lead.

The worker gave me a look of hesitation and soon smiled, “Well, I’m really not supposed to do this but go ahead take your pick.” Squinting for a slight second I glanced pointing to the wolf in the far back. The boy pulled an identical one from under his counter and handed it to me lightly.

“Hey I‘m Sam by the way.” I smiled looking down at the wolf, “Sam… Thank you.” He shrugged, “No problem, your boyfriend could have won anyway if he weren’t so distracted.” I rolled my eyes, “He isn’t my boyfriend…” Sam glanced at me, “So why did you pick the wolf? I mean, it isn’t the most popular one here.” I shrugged, “It was the one more off to the side, you know the one that wasn’t in the spotlight front and center. I guess that makes me notice something more.” Sam nodded.

For a brief moment of silence I pondered whether or not I should walk away or not. Smirking to myself I asked, “So had it always been your life’s ambition to be a carnie?” Sam chuckled, “No actually, I’m hoping to get a promotion. You know it looks great on a résumé. For college I mean.” I rose my eyebrows, “Really? What do you want to be?” Sam looked at me with a serious face then responded in a whisper, “Okay well you really cant tell any one yet.” I creased my eyebrows, “Okay I wont.” Sam whispered into my ear, “A clown.”

Sam and I chuckled for a bit when I looked over my shoulder, James turned realizing I wasn’t walking with him. I sighed, “Well it was nice meeting you, Sam.” He nodded, “Nice meeting you…” Walking a way I heard him shout, “Wait I didn’t get your name!: Glancing over my shoulder I spun around and shouted back, “Zoë.” I waved. Sam smiled, “See you later.”

James tugged my palm, “Come on.” I groaned, “God! What is your problem? He was just being nice!” James looked over his shoulder, “He was a freak, I mean he looks like a loser, Zoë.” I rolled my eyes, “God how could you even say that about him anyhow?”

James wrapped his arm around my shoulder, “I’m sorry Zoë I guess I’m the jealous type.” I raised an eyebrow, “You think?” James brought me closer to his side, “Want me to drive ya’ home?” Taking a look at my watch I nodded, “Yeah, my gran might make meat loaf tonight.” James winced, “Gross, you like that stuff?” Stepping onto a rock balancing myself I shrugged, “I guess, its not horrible.”

“I’m kind of in the mood for Chinese, you?” James tilted his head. Looking up at the sky I sighed, “I guess, sure why not?”

~ ~ ~

“Why can’t we be together?” James questioned, almost pleading. I replied softly, “Because being with you requires expectations.” James squinted his eyes at me almost glaring to defend himself, “And what is that exactly?”

I said while looking down at the ground, “Sex. Sex is your expectation. And you know I cant give you that.” I lied, “Because I want to wait until my wedding night, you know that.”

It was silent for a while, James looked at the road with his eyes full of some kind of emotion. He sighed out of exasperation, “Sorry.” I squinted, “For what?” “For asking…” That was all he said, what else was there to say anyway? I mean sure he has that expectation and I don’t care I just don’t want my first time with him, waiting until your wedding night is great and magical but I could care less if I waited or not.

My first time would happen for all the right reasons not just because my boyfriend feels like it. Like I said before I would have to date someone for all the right reasons also. He would make me laugh until I cry, he would make my palms sweaty, just the thought of us together or him in general would give me butterflies, someone who actually cares what I think or what my dreams are, or what my story is…
~ ~ ~
“Wake up Zoë, your going to be late!’ Gran exclaimed while she shook me mercilessly. I groaned, “Alright I’m up!” She smiled, “Need a ride?” I shook my head, “Nah I’ll walk. Thanks though.”

[Sam’s P.O.V]

As I sat at the island in my kitchen I heard, “Sam!” My head whipped around and found Sophie, my little sister. She had been at my mother’s for the weekend, “I missed you!” I smiled, “Me too, hey I have work want to tag along with me?” Her eyes grew wide, “Yeah! Do I get to help too?” I nodded.

Without another word Sophie ran to her room to throw her bags down. Once I finished my coffee she was dragging me out the door to get into the car. The whole way there she was jumping from subject to subject with excitement in her eyes.

For most of the conversation Sophie attempted to convince me to go down to Florida with her next weekend. All I had told her was that I had to work and that got her on to the next subject, my job.

Sophie was always excited about my Summer job. And they could be the worst but she always says even in the darkest clouds there is always a silver lining. She is the optimist in my life and am the pessimist in hers. As for our father he is a stiff, everything is about earning money to be successful. That’s why I’ve always had a job in the Summer and even when I was in school.

When we reached the carnival the only people there were the custodians and the other workers like myself. Sophie loved the carnival, she was thrilled when I got the job here. She wouldn’t care if I had a job sweeping the dock, she would still be happy and proud.

I helped Sophie out of the car and guided her to my station with the millions of stuffed animals. Sophie sat on the counter while I set up the cartons and balls. Finally people were allowed to enter and there were a couple of people wanting to play at my booth.

Watching Sophie’s eyes light up when people came up to play was like witnessing a miracle or the start of world peace. Even customers seemed more lively after they left, I guess she had that effect on people.

After the first two hours she was ready for some food, so I walked over to the cotton candy stand. We bought a cotton candy and a large souvenir cup. Sophie popped a piece of cotton candy in her mouth, “So I’m feeling better, Dr. Philips says I’m doing great.”

Sophie has skin cancer, the radiotherapy was working for her. That’s why she goes to my mother’s every weekend, for the doctor appointments. That’s exactly why I cant bring myself to go down to Florida with her, to see her sick.

We found out last year at the end of the Summer, the doctors say the sun block didn’t help at all and caused the cancer to grow. Now Sophie and my mother are firm believers in god, I used to be as well; but when Sophie was diagnosed I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that a 10 year old girl, now 11, could get cancer.

No one ever talked about it with her except for me. She was always trying to convince me that this all happened for a reason, but I still cant find myself listening to her nonsense. I know she means well and wants to cheer me up but she is my life. Sophie is the only thing in my life that I enjoy or is worth living for.

~ ~ ~

It was probably 10:00 when I clocked out, Sophie had been begging to get a bite to eat. So when we walked to my car she begged to go somewhere nice and not some silly fast food joint. This meant she wanted to go to the Cheesecake Factory only because of the cheesecake there.

We drove to the Cheesecake factory , which didn’t take to long only about 20 minutes from the carnival. Sophie was practically jumping in her seat with her eyes roaming all over the place. How could someone in so much danger be so happy? It just didn’t seem fair to me at all.

Once I helped Sophie out of the car we walked up hand in hand up the steps into the restaurant. For once it wasn’t crowded possibly because everyone was out at the carnival. I walked up to the host and smiled, “Table for two please.”

The woman gestured us to follow her to our table, as she did so Sophie skipped ahead of me. When we reached the table I pulled the chair out for Sophie and then I took the seat across from her.

Sophie opened up the menu, sitting it upright, the whole thing covered her face completely. I chuckled to myself when a voice spoke, “What can I get you two to drink.” I looked at Sophie and she answered, “A lemonade please.” I murmured, “A coke please.” The waitress smiled, “No problem Sam.”

I looked back up at the waitress and blinked a couple of times, “Zoë?” She smiled, “In the flesh. So this is what you do when your not perusing your dream as a clown?” I chuckled as did she, “Very funny, this is my little sister Sophie. Sophie this is Zoë.” Sophie waved at her quietly in her direction. I looked back to Zoë, “Um what time do you get off?” She looked at her watch, “Hmm maybe 30 minutes. Why?” I grinned nervously, “Well maybe you could join us for some desert.” She nodded, “Yeah that would be great if that’s alright with you Sophie.”

Sophie looked up at her and grinned widely, “Sure!” I smiled, “Okay then its settled.” Zoë looked over her shoulder, “Well alright I’ll be back with your drinks.” Zoë walked off slowly waving to other customers.

Sophie giggled, “Is that your girlfriend?” I paused looking at her for a couple of seconds and asked, “You know what those are?” She rolled her eyes, “God Sam I’m not 10 anymore I’m 11! And I have like 3 boyfriends, I’m a mature adult.” My eyes grew wide, “Wow that’s what mature adults do? I’m going about this all wrong.”

Zoë soon returned with our drinks and we ordered our food. Spending time with Sophie soon came to an end when Zoë got off her shift. “Hey you guys, sorry I had to change in the back.” I shrugged, “Its alright. So what do you guys want to have?”
~ ~ ~

After we ate our dessert Zoë insisted that I drop Sophie off at home first because Sophie had fallen asleep as soon as she sat in the car. So when we pulled up I got out of the car picking Sophie up, she didn’t stir the slightest. I slowly walked up the stairs and laid her down into her bed. I turned out the light when Sophie called, “Sam!” I walked back into her bedroom, “Yes Sophie.” I took a seat at the foot of her bed and she smiled, “Thank you for today. I had a great time.” I nodded, “No problem princess. I’m glad we hung out.” Sophie giggled, “Go hang out with your girlfriend now silly.” I sighed, “Alright beautiful sweet dreams.” I kissed her forehead and flipped on her nightlight.

Skipping down the stairs my dad cleared his throat, “Where are you going?” I turned, “To go hang out I’ll be back okay, Sophie is in bed.” I didn’t wait for his response, I just walked out the door and locked the top and bottom bolt.