Status: Complete
Just a Feeling
22
“So… what do you want to do?” Ash asked Rowan.
“I heard something today in class,” Rowan said, ignoring him. “I heard you’re an artist. You never told me.”
Ash gave her a small smile. “Yeah, I paint. I’m nothing like Mom, but…”
“I’d like to see some of your work, if you don’t mind.” Ash shrugged and led her toward the building where the art rooms were. Being who he was, Ash had a room all to himself, albeit a somewhat small one.
There were paintings all around the room, more than Rowan could imagine any one person having time to paint. There was a half-done work on an easel, and it looked like it was a painting of her.
“You’re painting me?” she asked, touched. Ash smiled down at her.
“Yeah. I paint things I want to remember. That’s going to be the day we met again. I really am sorry I ran into you.”
“I’m not,” Rowan said. She let go of his hand and walked around the room, looking at each picture individually. There was one hung on the wall that took her breath away. “You didn’t do this one,” she whispered.
“No, that one’s Mom’s work.”
Rowan knew. She remembered the day this one had been painted. It was from that day she’d told Mr. Novak about, when her mother had painted her little daughter in a pretty blue dress. Rowan felt tears in her eyes. It was evident that her mother had loved her very much.
“That painting used to be so painful to look at. I had to hide it,” Ash confessed. “It hurt to remember that you were dead. To see you as you once were; it didn’t help that it was Mom’s work, too.”
“I’m sorry I made you worry. I’m sorry you thought I was dead. I wish I was found sooner. I hated the House of Hope. More than you can possibly imagine, I hated it.”
“What was it like?” Ash asked uncertainly. He didn’t know how she would react to this question.
“It was… lonely. I didn’t want friends, I didn’t want to let people close. Whenever I did, they just got adopted. It didn’t help that my parents had left me, no matter that it was because they were dead. And Uncle didn’t want me. The orphanage employees were sick of me. Normally young kids get adopted pretty quickly. I was so afraid of letting people in, I pushed away everyone who was interested in adopting me. I didn’t want a new home, and I didn’t want to stay.” Rowan shuddered.
“You’re here now,” Ash said, as much to himself as to her, and hugged her tightly.
“That’s right. And I have my big brother back.”
The next day, Rowan woke up to find Luke and Evan in the hallway, as usual. “I’m going for a walk. Stay put.”
She didn’t think they would agree to it, but she really didn’t want to be around Luke right now, and she knew that Evan would much rather hang out with Lane than babysit her. “No way,” Luke growled. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice and leave her alone again.
“Fine. But follow at a distance. And Evan’s staying here.” Rowan turned around and walked down the hallway, suddenly very conscious of her walk. Did her hips normally swing this much, or was she walking this way because Luke was following her? And her posture- was it alright?
She nearly laughed at herself. She was acting so… typical. It was kind of liberating, to feel so ordinary.
Once Rowan got outside, she saw Braden walking alone by the front fountain. She called out to him and ran over. “Braden! How are you?”
“Hi, Rowan. I’m alright. Why did you leave movie night early?”
Rowan blushed. “I got scared.”
Braden laughed. “You get kidnapped and came out of it bravely, without any emotional scarring, but you can’t watch a scary movie?”
That reminded Rowan of what Luke had said on that rooftop. She tried not to let it, but her face fell. Braden saw and asked why.
“Well… it’s just… I don’t know. Luke.” She hadn’t been planning on admitting it, but Braden… he was the sort of person everyone confided in. And Rowan knew that he was genuinely concerned about her.
Luke himself was sitting up in a tree that was near the fountain, eavesdropping. “Ah. Luke.” Braden nodded in understanding.
“He just… I think he doesn’t like me much. And I completely humiliated myself the other night. I don’t know how to act around him,” Rowan confided. The look on Braden’s face, something in his eyes, made her think she could tell him anything.
“I think he doesn’t know how to act around you, either. And of course he likes you. Who wouldn’t? Just give him a little time,” Braden advised.
“Thanks,” Rowan whispered. She didn’t know if he was right, but it couldn’t hurt. After all, wasn’t it basically doing nothing, which she was already doing? ‘Ignoring him’ was much less mature than ‘giving him time’, so she’d give it a try.
“I heard something today in class,” Rowan said, ignoring him. “I heard you’re an artist. You never told me.”
Ash gave her a small smile. “Yeah, I paint. I’m nothing like Mom, but…”
“I’d like to see some of your work, if you don’t mind.” Ash shrugged and led her toward the building where the art rooms were. Being who he was, Ash had a room all to himself, albeit a somewhat small one.
There were paintings all around the room, more than Rowan could imagine any one person having time to paint. There was a half-done work on an easel, and it looked like it was a painting of her.
“You’re painting me?” she asked, touched. Ash smiled down at her.
“Yeah. I paint things I want to remember. That’s going to be the day we met again. I really am sorry I ran into you.”
“I’m not,” Rowan said. She let go of his hand and walked around the room, looking at each picture individually. There was one hung on the wall that took her breath away. “You didn’t do this one,” she whispered.
“No, that one’s Mom’s work.”
Rowan knew. She remembered the day this one had been painted. It was from that day she’d told Mr. Novak about, when her mother had painted her little daughter in a pretty blue dress. Rowan felt tears in her eyes. It was evident that her mother had loved her very much.
“That painting used to be so painful to look at. I had to hide it,” Ash confessed. “It hurt to remember that you were dead. To see you as you once were; it didn’t help that it was Mom’s work, too.”
“I’m sorry I made you worry. I’m sorry you thought I was dead. I wish I was found sooner. I hated the House of Hope. More than you can possibly imagine, I hated it.”
“What was it like?” Ash asked uncertainly. He didn’t know how she would react to this question.
“It was… lonely. I didn’t want friends, I didn’t want to let people close. Whenever I did, they just got adopted. It didn’t help that my parents had left me, no matter that it was because they were dead. And Uncle didn’t want me. The orphanage employees were sick of me. Normally young kids get adopted pretty quickly. I was so afraid of letting people in, I pushed away everyone who was interested in adopting me. I didn’t want a new home, and I didn’t want to stay.” Rowan shuddered.
“You’re here now,” Ash said, as much to himself as to her, and hugged her tightly.
“That’s right. And I have my big brother back.”
The next day, Rowan woke up to find Luke and Evan in the hallway, as usual. “I’m going for a walk. Stay put.”
She didn’t think they would agree to it, but she really didn’t want to be around Luke right now, and she knew that Evan would much rather hang out with Lane than babysit her. “No way,” Luke growled. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice and leave her alone again.
“Fine. But follow at a distance. And Evan’s staying here.” Rowan turned around and walked down the hallway, suddenly very conscious of her walk. Did her hips normally swing this much, or was she walking this way because Luke was following her? And her posture- was it alright?
She nearly laughed at herself. She was acting so… typical. It was kind of liberating, to feel so ordinary.
Once Rowan got outside, she saw Braden walking alone by the front fountain. She called out to him and ran over. “Braden! How are you?”
“Hi, Rowan. I’m alright. Why did you leave movie night early?”
Rowan blushed. “I got scared.”
Braden laughed. “You get kidnapped and came out of it bravely, without any emotional scarring, but you can’t watch a scary movie?”
That reminded Rowan of what Luke had said on that rooftop. She tried not to let it, but her face fell. Braden saw and asked why.
“Well… it’s just… I don’t know. Luke.” She hadn’t been planning on admitting it, but Braden… he was the sort of person everyone confided in. And Rowan knew that he was genuinely concerned about her.
Luke himself was sitting up in a tree that was near the fountain, eavesdropping. “Ah. Luke.” Braden nodded in understanding.
“He just… I think he doesn’t like me much. And I completely humiliated myself the other night. I don’t know how to act around him,” Rowan confided. The look on Braden’s face, something in his eyes, made her think she could tell him anything.
“I think he doesn’t know how to act around you, either. And of course he likes you. Who wouldn’t? Just give him a little time,” Braden advised.
“Thanks,” Rowan whispered. She didn’t know if he was right, but it couldn’t hurt. After all, wasn’t it basically doing nothing, which she was already doing? ‘Ignoring him’ was much less mature than ‘giving him time’, so she’d give it a try.