The Way I Loved You

A Note That Said...

Dear John,

There is only two ways you could possibly be reading this.

One I'm dead
Two Gracie is 18.

You're probably wondering why I left that night, well morning. It was because of Grace.
Yes, I was pregnant and I had known about her for a month. Don't get me wrong I was going to tell you that night but you had told me about the band getting signed, then going in tour with Boys Like Girls for two months and I just couldn't live with myself if I told you that I was pregnant. To make things worse, we were only kids. Could you imagine us having a little baby to care for while you would be constantly on the road?!
It wouldn't be fair to you or to Grace. You probably think I'm selfish because I didn't say anything to or even give a clear reason as to why I left, but I hope that you have it in you to forgive me for my selfishness, for breaking your heart and for this surprise.
Now if you are receiving this with Grace our 18 year old daughter please don't turn her away. I probably made her life hell already by keeping her away from you for so long.
However if you got this because I'm dead, then know that I love you. Always have, always will.
John, I think about you all the time. When I heard you guys had released your first full length I pre-ordered it. I listened to it over and over while rocking Grace to sleep, I even went out and saw you guys in Massachusetts. Seeing you up there on stage singing those songs you wrote because I hurt you made me sad, but I couldn't be more happier to see how far you guys have gotten. Believe me when I say that I miss you and the guys. I have a hole in my heart and the only way I was able to manage from not breaking completely was hearing your voice come from my speakers and looking at Gracie. She's such a good baby and I can already tell that she is going to be just like her daddy.

I'm sorry John I really am. Please forgive me.

Love always,
Emily Noel Sallas