Slipping Through My Fingers

"Duke. Come one man, wake up. Lauren's in the kitchen making breakfast, and I need to get into work."

Someone shook my shoulder, hard enough that it hurt, but not hard enough for me to flinch. I simply flicked my eyes open in response. Jake stood over me, watching, bracing himself for one of my infamous freak outs.

But he need not have worried. Last night had been one of the first nights in a long time where i did not dream of Gr- her.

Rolling out of bed, I began digging through drawers for a suitable outfit for the day; also, as my silent signal to Jake that he could get on with his morning. It was true, that I was grateful to Jake for allowing me to sleep in his guest bedroom, but I wasn't happy. I had been happy since, well, awhile, to say the least.

On top of everything, my parents kicked me out. Hence, the living with Jake. The day the found me in my room, a crumpled heap on the floor, empty pill bottle in hand, they'd had enough. Dumping me outside the E.R., they up and left, and I haven't heard from them since.

Not that it mattered, anyways. There was only one face that would bring me back to life. But it was painful just to think about.

Eventually, someone at the E.R. found Jake's number in my phone, and he picked me up. And I'd been the ghost living under his roof ever since.

After I found relatively clean shirt and shorts, I trudged my way into the kitchen. Lauren stood at the stove, cooking breakfast. A cup of coffee rested on the counter, as usual. And as usual, I didn't touch it. I sat, perched up on a stool, and watched the steam rise, curling, and eventually disappearing into the air.

"It's supposed to rain around noon," Lauren spoke gently, as if I were an young child that didn't understand much.

I nodded slowly, and pick up a fork as she slid a plate piled with eggs, bacon, and toast in front of me. "You should take your walk early, or go later in the afternoon," she leaned against the counter top, her eyes hopeful of a response.

But, I just shake my head. I take my walk at 11:30, everyday. No matter what. If I changed the time, well, it wouldn't be pretty.

Lauren sighed sadly, and returned to the stove, finishing making breakfast for Jake, and another plate she would take over to Billy's later; Jake's father. Jake stomped in, and was drawn towards Lauren like a magnet. I turned my head away as he leaned in to kiss her, feeling the pain stab at my heart.

I used to have something like that. My soul, or what was left of it, recognized it; recognized the love between, and missed it.

I swallowed hard, gulping for air. Oh, no. Not now. I was having such a good morning. I felt my muscles tensing, and I sprang for the door. I desperately needed space. There was too much love in the kitchen, it hurt too much.

As I bolted into the woods behind Jake's house, I heard someone shout, "Duke! Come back! You'll get lost!"

My body's only response was to run faster. The forest swallowed me up, and I let my thoughts run free. I stumbled suddenly, and before I could catch myself, my head crashed into a tree, and the world went black.

Finally, I could be in peace.