They're Gonna Eat Me Alive

Ryan didn’t really have a reason, but he had decided that he would meet Brendon in a public place and they could talk there. He had chosen a diner that he used to go to a lot but hadn’t been there in a while.

Brendon was waiting for him when he got there. They were both early.

Ryan sat down in the seat across from Brendon who gave him a small smile.

“Do you want to order anything?” Brendon asked. He had a mug of coffee sitting between his hands.

“No thanks,” Ryan replied. “I’m fine.”

“I’m glad you finally agreed to see me,” he said.

“It had to happen sometime,” said Ryan. It was silent as both of them tried to figure out what they should say; how they should start this conversation that had seemed so much easier in their minds. Ryan finally broke the silence. “I’m not really sure what to say.”

“Well…Why did you leave?” Brendon asked quickly. Ryan wasn’t surprised by the question—he had been expecting it so it only made sense that he had his answer ready.

“Because I love you,” he answered. “And you didn’t love me.”

Brendon sighed.

“I wish we could have had this conversation before you decided to leave,” Brendon said.

“What would you have said?” Ryan questioned. “You had no idea what I was going through until after I left. Pete had to tell you.”

“I still would have preferred it if you had told me how you were feeling,” he answered. “Leaving obviously didn’t solve any of your problems because you came back.”

“I came back for the same reason that I left,” he said. “I don’t expect anything to change either. You don’t need to have me tell you how I’m feeling because you don’t care. There’s no point in hiding how you really feel.”

“But I do care about you!” Brendon said a little too loudly. A few people glanced at them before returning to their food. “Maybe I don’t love you, but I do care about you a lot and I’m sorry if it never seemed like that. But it’s the truth.”

“How can I believe you?” Ryan asked. “How do I know you’re not just saying these things and that you’re not going to just turn around and treat me the same way again?”

“Because I want to give this relationship a shot,” Brendon said. “I can’t make any promises that things will work out, but I want to try—for you. And for me too. Just give me a chance.”

Ryan was quiet for a moment.

“Can I have some time to think about it?” he finally asked. Brendon smiled.

“Of course,” he said. Ryan smiled back, feeling happier than he had in a while. He already knew that he wanted to try a relationship with Brendon, but he thought it would be best if he at least acted like he was going to think about it.

Their relationship that had transformed into something ugly and hurtful was back to nothing more than an innocent and happy one. People passing by their table wouldn’t be able to tell that Brendon had ever hurt Ryan in ways Ryan hoped would never happen again. All they would see was two happy people.