End Transmission.

I lay in bed, with a constant stream of thoughts and memories keeping me awake.

“Where are we going?!
“A little road trip. You know, like lovers do randomly.”

That was five years ago; five long years ago. Jade and I had broken up since then. We still saw each other quite often. I put on a brave face, but I think someone the other side of the world could tell I was still hurting.
Well they could if they saw a picture of me. I don’t go out often, so that might be difficult.
I looked around my current setting for something to do. My current setting being a darkened living room, with stained bowls and old cups everywhere, screwed up pieces of paper and broken pens.

I was trying to describe it. I was trying to write about the song about the greatest adventure me and myex-boyfriend had once.
I had to fill a huge gap in my heart. He’d clearly filled his. He’d filled his with some blonde haired girl.
I guess it was the fact I’d been replaced with a girl that hurt. Jade had told me he “just couldn’t keep it up anymore”. Keep what up?! We were in the same band, same house, and same room. It was his way of pussying out of a relationship. He’d done it before, and I was usually the one to pick the pieces up. I couldn’t pick my own pieces up though.
Right on cue, Adam walked up my drive and into his house.

“Davey, for fucks sake, you haven’t opened these curtains in months. These bowls have... ew is that mould?! I’ve had enough, you’re going out today. Wear your big fucking sunglasses, whatever, at least you’re outside.”
“I don’t wanna go out Adam...”
“Tough shit bro.”
“Adam, don’t make me please.”
“I’m fucking sick of you being in this house constantly!”
“And I’m fucking sick of you in a white t shirt, black jeans and black jacket but you won’t change it will you?”
“Right, we’re going to my house. Go get in the car.”

He took me to his house, where he selected to wear a red, if slightly faded red, Tiger Army t shirt. I forced a smile at his efforts and let him take me for coffee.

“You gonna come out of your hellhole anytime soon Dave?”
“Firstly, never ever call me Dave. Second, I’m out now aren’t I?”
“You know what I mean. You gonna come to band practice? Jam that new song you’ve been going on and on about to me. That’s after you get a shave and haircut though, you look like a hobo.”
“Well I hear hobo is very in at the minute.”
“Quit joking, are you or aren’t you?”

I decided to go. I had to face Jade at some point. I couldn’t keep living my life the way I was; pretty much cutting myself off from everything and everyone. In the time that I had locked myself away from the world, which was about a year ago, I’d finished writing lyrics for both my bands. Now to present them to the people that mattered. This was unfortunately, Jade.
I still love him. I’m not gonna deny that fact. I’m just, hurting. You know? I’m human, humans have feelings. I’ll hurt till I can’t hurt anymore. It’s been five years, how much longer?

“Davey.”
“Jade.”
“You, uhm, you okay?”
“No, but that doesn’t concern you.”
“It does, we’re still friends.”
“Fuck you.”
“Hey! Don’t be like this! You broke my heart too!”
“Oh you did not just go there. Did you honestly just say that? Or am I fucking dreaming or something?”
“I didn’t...”
“Just shut up! Just shut up okay! You know that was out of order and now I’m going home so I don’t see your face anymore.”

I stormed out of there faster than I had been dragged up the drive by Adam. Tears stung my eyes but I refused to cry till I’d walked home. The plan already sucks, I have an hour walk home. So I guess I’m walking down the streets of Los Angeles crying my eyes out. Wow I look really cool right now.

I got to my house about an hour and a half after my oh-so dramatic exit from Adam’s. I stopped for coffee, is that okay?
My car was parked on my drive as usual. The car that I had driven me and Jade all the way to New York in. It took nearly two days to drive but it was the best thing we’d ever done. He’d always wanted to go to New York as a visitor, not to play a gig. So I took him. Hell, my car was still dusty from driving across various desert states.

I needed to fix this, I needed to fix us.